Reaching Forward
by Defense Mechanism
Summary: Having really been pregnant in episode 3.04 'What I Am', Meredith and Derek have to face the implications of that on not only their relationship but their professional and social lives as well.
1. The Shit Hits the Fan

_**Reaching Forward**_

_**Summary: Having really been pregnant in episode 3.04 What I am, Meredith and Derek have to face the implications of that on not only their relationship but their professional and social lives as well. **_

_**Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy belongs to Shonda Rhimes, ABC, and anyone else involved with the show. Also, I used some quotes from the actual episode and I don't claim to have written those. I apply this disclaimer for all 23 chapters of this story.  


* * *

**_If she had the strength, Meredith would have killed Cristina.

Her best friend since she became an intern had blurted out to the whole hospital that she might be pregnant. If anyone had any doubts that she was a dirty whore, they were now diminished. Grasping onto the counter, she pulled herself a few steps forward with the help of Cristina and George. She was pretty sure that during this time she had heard Addison say something about an adulterous love child but the way Meredith felt at the moment, she didn't really care what Addison said or thought.

Feeling a tug on her arm, she was being led away by George and Bailey, but soon it was only George leading her since Bailey had, thankfully, stepped in and told Derek he had done enough already. Whatever predicament she was in, it was definitely partly his fault.

As they entered an empty exam room, Cristina had helped Meredith onto the examining table. When Cristina started pressing onto her abdomen, Meredith groaned. Cristina took no time in getting a smug look on her face and asked, "So, who's the father?"

Meredith glared at her best friend and deadpanned, "I'm not pregnant."

Shaking her head, Cristina knew that Meredith was probably in denial, "I wasn't pregnant when I was pregnant either." As she continued examining Meredith, she began to tell Meredith how all her symptoms indicated pregnancy, "The abdominal pain, the fever, and the non-stop vomiting-"

Meredith closed her eyes, winced in pain, and softly cried out, "I'm not pregnant!"

Grinning smugly again, Cristina stated, "You don't know who the father is, do you?"

Looking at Cristina, Meredith's expression was one of denial and fear, "It would have to be Derek's. There's no way it could be Finn's."

Cristina looked at her friend in disbelief, "You haven't had sex with the vet yet?" She scoffed, "You've got to get out of that relationship – immediately."

She looked at the ceiling then back at Cristina and questioned meekly, "I can't be pregnant…can I?"

Pressing down on Meredith's abdomen, she responded, "With McBaby!"

Either from really being hurt or the thought of actually being pregnant, Meredith let out a cry of pain. Once the pain had subsided, she asked, "Was I this mean to you when you were pregnant?"

Before Cristina could answer, Bailey walked in with lab results in her hand. Meredith waited for her to say something but Bailey just stared at her sternly. After moments of silence had passed, Meredith didn't even have to ask what the results were, "I'm pregnant, aren't I?"

Cristina just stared at the floor while Meredith sighed heavily and collapsed backwards, staring at the ceiling. "What am I going to do?" She said in an almost whisper while looking to Cristina who just gave her a sad expression and continued looking at the floor.

Bailey just remained in silence until finally exiting the room very quickly. She continued her fast pace until she rounded a couple of corners. Finally, she stopped at one of the corners and hung her head down in shame. She felt like this was all her fault; all her interns were making such bad choices. After having a baby, she had gone soft or at least she thought so. First, Cristina had gotten pregnant by Burke, which ended horribly. Next, Izzie had fallen in love with Denny and then cut his LVAD wire. That she should have been able to stop. Bailey had watched Izzie and Denny play scrabble and even hug; she should have put a stop to it there. Now, Grey was pregnant.

Sniffling quickly once, she looked around to make sure no one had seen her and retracted in her footsteps back to the exam room. Bursting through the door, Meredith and Cristina looked at Bailey with startled expressions, "Grey, go home. But, I expect you back here tomorrow – try Saltines."

Meredith started to protest, "But-"

"No, I will not have you here being unfocused about all the issues," She rotated her right index finger in a circle at Meredith's stomach, "this is going to have." She turned her gaze to Cristina, "As for you Yang, back to rounds."

Cristina cleared her throat, "Yes. Right." She looked at Meredith then back to Bailey and quickly left the awkward situation.

Meredith slowly sat up and slid off the examination table. As she began walking to the door, another wave of nausea hit her and she stepped forward to the trashcan and vomited yet again. Even though she had vowed to be tougher, Miranda couldn't help but place a soft hand on Meredith's back.

Grabbing a paper towel from the canister on the wall, Meredith wiped her mouth and threw the towel into the trash. She just stared out in front of her at nothing in particular. Knowing Bailey was watching her, she sighed, opened the door and exited to the hall.

Walking as fast as she could without upsetting her stomach, Meredith made her way to the locker room and thankfully didn't run into Derek. She couldn't deal with him right now or any of this for that matter. She grabbed her casual clothes and purse out of her locker. Upon slamming it shut, she was met with the sight of Alex Karev nonchalantly eating an apple. She looked at him for a moment but he continued eating his apple.

As she was changing her clothes, Alex suddenly spoke up, "So, I hear you got knocked up."

Meredith side-glanced him for a moment but continued to dress, "Where did you hear that?" She commented as coolly as she possibly could in this situation.

"It's all over the hospital. With you throwing up everywhere and Yang blurting it out, everyone knows." He smiled smugly.

As she pulled her shirt over her head, she straightened her hair and ignored Alex as best she could, but he wasn't going to let her off that easily, "So, is it true?"

"It's none of your business and aren't you supposed to be on rounds?" Picking up her purse, she was heading toward the door when Alex's comment stopped her.

"A, I've already been assigned a case so I'm doing pre-op. And, B, you must be pregnant or you wouldn't have dodged the question."

She stared intently at the door handle in front of her for a brief moment before swinging the door open and exiting.

Meredith made her way through the parking lot to her jeep. As she entered, she threw her purse into the passenger seat and was about to start car when everything hit her. The choice of who she wanted to be with was taken completely out of her hands. She knew there was no way Finn would want to be with her when he found out she was pregnant with Derek's child. Pregnant, she was pregnant. She wasn't even sure if she wanted kids, especially with her complicated relationship with her mother. Placing her head on the steering wheel, she first groaned and then tears began flowing, "What'd I do to myself?"

After a minute of letting all of her emotions out, she wiped her eyes and sniffled and started her car. Suddenly, she heard a knock on her window. Turning to see who it was, her heart felt like it stopped. It was Derek.


	2. After You

The sight of Derek Shepherd before her caused Meredith to grip the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. She didn't know what to say or do, so she just stared. After several moments, Derek finally motioned in a circular pattern with his hand for her to roll down her window. As she nodded in response, she let out a long breath that she hadn't realized she had been holding. Pressing the black button on the side of her door, the glass frame no longer separated the former lovers.

Derek put his hand on the side of the car and peered in, "Are you all right? Where are you going?" He said all together in one breath. His eyes darted back and forth trying to figure out from Meredith's expression what was going on but all he got was a look of numbness.

Meredith quickly wiped her eyes of tears and started to fumble with her words, "I'm…I…" She just looked at him and his McDreamy expression of concern; that's when she knew she couldn't do this with him – at least not now. "I…I can't do this." Rolling up the window, she started the ignition and reversed out of her parking space and out of the lot.

"Meredith!" Derek called out to no avail and watched as her jeep disappeared. Looking back at the hospital and again to the direction Meredith had gone, he fished out his keys from his scrubs and started running towards his own car to follow her.

Meanwhile, Meredith skid into her driveway and swiftly exited her car. Running to the door, she dug in her purse for her keys. After finding them, she shakily put the key into the lock and turned the knob to enter her house. Throwing both her purse and keys to the floor, Meredith jogged up the stairs to her room and slammed door to her room. Putting her back against the door, she caught her breath for the first time since she left the parking lot. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. Thoughts of her mother swirled through her mind; she remembered the day when they had their biggest fall out. It was right before her mother found out she had Alzheimer's.

Meredith remembered it as if she was actually reliving it.

"You're wasting your life, Meredith!" Ellis Grey's voice raged with fury as she scolded her daughter.

Meredith just shook her head in disagreement and rummaged through her closet until she found what she was looking for – her duffel bag. Throwing it on her bed, she went over to her dressers and began sorting through her clothes to get enough clothes to last her until she could come back to the house and get the rest of her things when her mother was at work, which would be soon considering her mother was never home and when she was she was always yelling at her like she was now.

Ellis Grey watched her daughter start packing her bags and went over grabbed her daughter's arm, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Meredith stared at her mother's hand around her wrist and quickly flung her arm out of her mother's grip. "What I'm doing is getting out of here to live my own life!"

After stuffing whatever she could into her bag, she zipped it up and put the strap over her shoulder and started heading towards the front door with her mother right behind her. Twisting the knob, she opened the door until she was stopped half way when her mother stopped it from opening any further.

Her mother's forehead wrinkled as her blue eyes stared at Meredith, "Not everyone can use a scalpel; but when a person has that ability, and I know you do you are my daughter after all; it will become the most important thing in your life."

Laughing, Meredith just grinned hysterically, "You're right, Mom, it was the most important thing in your life. I know I wasn't." With that, she pushed the door out of her way and walked out the door.

Not expecting her mother to say anything, Meredith was shocked at what she heard next, "You ungrateful girl! If I had never had a child, my life wouldn't be so miserable!"

Silent tears started falling from Meredith's eyes but she didn't stop; she just got into her car and drove away.

Back to reality, Meredith remembered that not long after she came back from Europe her mom had told her she had Alzheimer's; that's when she decided to go to medical school, so she could give her mother one last wish. She almost wished she'd never gone because she probably wouldn't be in this situation. Hearing a car door shut, Meredith's eyes flew open. At first, she thought it was probably just Izzie but the voice she heard was definitely not her roommate's.

"Meredith!" Derek shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

Cursing silently, she knew that she needed to get rid of him. Flinging her bedroom door open, she swiftly walked down the hall to the top of the stairs and saw him coming from the kitchen, undoubtedly looking for her.

"Meredith." He said more softly this time.

He started to walk up the steps when Meredith began speaking, "No. Just stay there."

Taking a deep breath, she continued, "I can't deal with you right now. I can't even begin to think about this and you being here just makes things even worse."

Derek interrupted, "Think about what?"

But, either she ignored him or just didn't hear him, "I just need you to leave."

Her breathing had become rapid and she stared down at him from the top of the stairs. Silence stood between them as he stared back at her with his own blue eyes. Placing his left hand on the handrail, he slowly ascended the stairs. Meredith began to shake her head in protest and her voice began to crack when she tried to speak, "Derek…"

But none of that stopped him and when he finally reached her he softly put his arms around her. For a brief moment, she resisted but soon melted into him by wrapping her own arms around him. With everything that was going on, Meredith just couldn't take it anymore and slide down to the floor, bringing Derek down with her.

As she sobbed into his chest, he put his face into her hair. It smelled like lavender; she had gone back to using the conditioner he loved. Stroking her hair, Meredith continued to cry for several minutes when Derek picked her up into his arms and carried her to her room. Placing her softly on the bed, he lied down next to her. She was facing towards the window on her side. It had started raining, which was not unusual for Seattle. He looked at her with a sad expression. After all the other pain he had caused her, he just wanted to be able to help her for once.

Placing his right arm around her abdomen, he was trying to comfort her but this just caused her to become more upset. But, instead of running away this time, Meredith turned on her other side and faced him. Derek was about to speak when she interrupted, "I'm pregnant."


	3. Awkward Situations

As the last syllable came out of her mouth, Meredith's eyes began shifting back and forth. She was studying his face, looking for his reaction, but his face was expressionless. Not knowing if this was good or bad, she breathed out, "Derek…"

In his caring yet steady voice, he replied, "I know."

Some sort of sound that was a mixture of a squeak and a groan came out of Meredith's mouth. Derek knew that she didn't know what to say, so he continued, "I was there when Cristina told everyone."

He had asked her what was going on earlier because he wanted to hear directly from her that she was indeed pregnant and it wasn't something that Cristina had made up.

Meredith's eyes lit up as if a light bulb just went off in her mind. She had forgotten Derek had been there when that happened, "Don't let me forget to kill Cristina."

A small grin appeared on McDreamy's face and Meredith began to laugh softly. But, it gradually become louder and bordered on hysterical. Quickly, the grin on Derek's face faded and become worried, "Meredith…"

Her laughter turned to crying as he said her name. Not saying anything, he pushed her stray hair behind her ear. His mouth opened to say something but his beeper went off. Sighing he reached to his side and took it off its clip and read the message. Sighing, he knew he had to go; it was a 911. Without having said anything to her, Meredith spoke, "Go, just go."

Slowly getting from her bed, Derek began walking to the door. As he opened it slightly, he looked back at Meredith. She had turned her back to him and was staring out the window. He could still hear her crying. Derek didn't want to leave her but he couldn't ignore a 911. Plus, he wasn't sure if she was even ready to discuss their situation. And if he knew Meredith, Derek also knew that she'd probably never be ready to talk about it.

As he exited the house, he made his way to his car and started the engine. When he pulled away, he finally began to process what was going on. Meredith was pregnant, pregnant with his child. When he was married to Addison, they had discussed having children. But, he always opposed claiming that they should wait until each of their practices were firmly established. Deep down, he had always known that if he and Addison had children that he would feel an obligation to stay with her if anything did happen between them. But even when something did happen, he had stayed anyway. Until Meredith had started dating Finn, he had been fine but when he realized that she was truly moving on he couldn't stand it anymore.

Speaking of Finn, Derek recognized that he had "won" by default. Now that Meredith was pregnant, he didn't think Finn would be itching to stay with her. Of course, that's assuming if she had the baby. She was an intern, just beginning her career. And having a baby would be…to say stressful would be an understatement. But, a part of him wanted her to have the baby. He knew that he shouldn't start day dreaming about it since there was a good chance that Meredith may not even keep it.

When he finally arrived back at the hospital, he grabbed his white coat from the backseat and began pulling it on as he made his way through the parking lot. Finally, he arrived at the nurses' station and began to ask who paged him. That was when an unwanted voice answered him, "So, how's the pregnant mistress doing?" Turning towards the voice, it was none other than Mark Sloan.

Derek clenched his teeth, "Is this what you paged me here for, to continue to disrupt my life?"

"Actually, I called here because I need a neuro consult on Mr. Sullivan." Mark said, acting nonchalantly.

Furrowing his brow, he asked, "Who?"

"The guy who lit a cigarette and his entire head became engulfed in flames." He grinned slyly, "I suppose if you didn't have to deal with your love child then you'd probably know that, wouldn't you?"

"Leave Meredith and our baby out of this." He bit back.

Tilting his head, Mark questioned, "So, you're keeping it?"

Upon hearing this question, Derek realized what he had said and tried to cover the mistake, "Do you need a neuro consult or not?" He grabbed the patient's chart, which was sitting on the counter in front of McSteamy, and walked away.

Meanwhile, back at Meredith's house, Izzie had just come home from her meeting with Denny's father. Clutching the envelope to her chest, she hung her purse on the coat rack. Her brown eyes were glossed over; she almost couldn't believe what she was holding in her hands. She still clutched it as she started making her way upstairs to her room. When she was passing Meredith's room, she heard muffled cries coming from within. Stopping in front of the door, she saw that it was cracked slightly. Peering in, she saw her friend on her bed with her face in her pillow.

Pushing on the door, she called out, "Meredith?"

"Go away, Izzie." She shouted through her pillow.

Ignoring her, Izzie walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down in the chair, "You know, when Denny died, I didn't want any of you around but you were there for me. And, I'm not leaving you when you're obviously upset about something."

Still, Meredith didn't speak. So, Izzie continued, "I mean I'm sure that whatever you have to say can't compare to my news." She hoped that this would cause Meredith to try to out shock her.

Taking her head out of her pillow, Meredith turned towards Izzie, "I'm pregnant."

Izzie's eyes widened; she definitely didn't expect those words to come from Meredith. "Um, wow, that's…uh…"

"So, if you could just leave me alone, please."

Izzie rose from her seat and began proceeding to the door when she stopped, "I was pregnant once, when I was sixteen."

This got Meredith's attention and she sat up and faced Izzie, "What?"

"Yeah, I had a daughter. I gave her up for adoption. If I had kept her, I would be just like the rest of my family and would be continuing the cycle of being an unwed mother living in a trailer park." Izzie paused, "What I'm trying to say is that you and Derek are lucky enough to be great doctors who could give a child more than I could at the time. So, just…just think about it ok?" With that, Izzie left.

Meredith just stared at the place where Izzie had just stood. She remembered that night when they were all in George's bed and Izzie had said something about them not knowing each other. Obviously, Meredith didn't realize how much she really didn't know about her friends.

Her mind wandered back to what Izzie had said before she left. If she wasn't mistaken, Meredith was pretty sure that Izzie had just told her to keep the baby. Sure, the things that Izzie had said were true. She and Derek could provide for it but could she be a mother? If her relationship with her own mother was to say anything about her abilities to be a mother herself, then her child would be screwed. But, was that necessarily true? Maybe her relationship with her mother was supposed to show her what not to do with a child.

Meredith put her hands over her face and took a deep breath. She didn't know what she was going to do. Lying back down on her bed, she placed her hands on her abdomen and stared at the ceiling. She had a lot of thinking to do.


	4. A Wake Up Call

The clock beside her bed displayed 5:19 in bold, red letters. Unfortunately, for Meredith Grey, she was not getting those last few seconds asleep. As the clock finally turned to 5:20, the alarm buzzed. She hated that sound it was so…alarming, which she guessed was the entire point. Throwing her arm over, she turned the alarm off.

Before she rose, she stared at the ceiling; she hadn't gotten any sleep at all – how could she? Meredith had spent all night thinking about her situation. Yet, she still did not know what she was going to do. She almost wished she was like Cristina, barely having second thoughts about abortion.

All of her life had been planned out, basically. What little thought her mother put into it, she was supposed to go to med school and live up to the name Grey. Of course, she wasn't supposed to excel her mother but be a great surgeon, nonetheless. Meredith knew what her mother would tell her to do in this situation – have an abortion because having a child would _surely_ ruin her career.

But if she had the baby, it would be the first time she really would be able to make a decision for herself - something that she actually wanted. This is what frustrated Meredith. Would she keeping the baby because she actually wanted it or just because it was something her mother didn't plan out.

Sighing, she slung her feet over to the side of the bed and walked over to her dresser. She had turned her phone off because she knew that Derek would call but she didn't want to think about him. Picking up her phone, she pressed the end button to turn her phone on and was not surprised with what she was met – 5 missed calls and 3 new voicemails. Closing her phone, she was about to place it back on the dresser when she suddenly dropped it. Responding to the sudden wave of nausea that had hit her, she ran for the bathroom.

When she arrived at the bathroom door, she turned the knob only to find that it was locked. Furrowing her brow, she knocked on the door and yelled, "I need to get in there!"

There was a brief pause before she got an answer, "I'm in the shower!"

"George, get out now or either you'll be responsible for cleaning up my vomit!"

A few moments later, she heard various shampoo bottles falling down, the shower cutting off and loud thumps. Suddenly the door flew open to reveal a soapy George wrapped up only in a towel. Pushing past him, she slammed the door shut behind him and preceded to the toilet. Looking at the door, he blinked. He wasn't quite sure what was going on.

Not long after Meredith had thrown George out of the bathroom, Izzie came from her room rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. A confused expression came over her face when she saw an almost naked George dripping wet in the middle of their hall, "What the hell are you doing?"

With an expression that almost exactly matched Izzie, he replied, "Meredith said if I didn't get out that I'd have to clean up her vomit."

Izzie nodded in acknowledgement, "Ah, morning sickness."

Looking back and forth between the door and Izzie, George fumbled with his word, "Wait, what? Morning sickness…Meredith's pregnant!? I thought Cristina was just joking!"

Izzie groaned, "Ugh, yes, and wake me up when both of you are done with the shower." With that Izzie went back to her comfortable bed.

George just stood speechless as he watched his best friend walk away. The sounds of the shower were heard yet again. Sighing, he yelled, "I wasn't done showering!"

The entire drive to Seattle Grace Hospital was a silent one. Firstly, Meredith was definitely not in the mood for talking. Secondly, George kept trying to say something but ended up only mutter some inaudible sounds before turning his attention back out the window.

When they finally arrived at the hospital, Meredith hung her head down and stared at her feet as she walked. She didn't really feel up to seeing all of the staff whispering and pointing at her plus she still felt slightly nauseated.

Entering the locker room with George in her footsteps, Meredith went straight to her locker, not looking at anyone and began changing into her scrubs. Cristina just side glanced at her while changing into her own scrubs. Normally, Cristina would have directly questioned her but since at one point and time she had been in the same situation Meredith had been in, she kept her mouth shut.

The locker room remained eerily quiet until Bailey came in announcing to everyone it was time for rounds. The four interns quickly followed their resident through the halls to the first patient. All of the interns piled in behind Bailey, surrounding the patient's bed.

Bailey gruffly spoke, "Name!"

Not wanting to get placed with Derek, Meredith quickly spoke up first, "Aubrey Parker, age 35, admitted to the hospital six weeks ago for pre-term labor. It has been sustained and they are going to induce today."

At this point, Addison took the time to make her presence known. "Well, Dr. Grey, I didn't expect you'd be so eager to be paired with me. But, just as well."

Cristina just grinned slyly as she knew today was probably going to be hell for Meredith. Bailey stared at Cristina, "Yang, something funny?"

Looking at her resident like she was a child that got caught with her hand in the cookie jar, she fumbled, "Uh…no! I'm just so happy to be here."

Bailey raised an eyebrow and walked out of the room causing all of the interns, sans Meredith to follow her.

Picking up the chart from the end of the patient's bed, Addison started flipping through it while she began to give instructions to her intern, "I want one last ultrasound done before we go into to surgery. When you're done, come find me and then we'll prep for surgery."

Meredith merely nodded, not quite sure if Addison had ulterior motives because she was eerily calm considering the situation. Giving a slight nod in acknowledgement, Meredith walked over to the other side of the bed and turned the ultrasound machine on while Addison exited. Lifting up the patient's gown, Meredith stared for a brief moment at the woman's enlarged stomach. Getting refocused, she put the gel onto Aubrey's stomach. The woman grimaced at first, "You'd figure after 37 weeks of pregnancy and six weeks in here with at least two ultrasounds a day I'd be used to how cold that stuff is."

Meredith gave her a weak smile and proceeded to move the wand around her stomach. When the picture of the fetus appeared on the screen, she stared intently. For the first time, she had never found the visuals of an ultrasound so fascinating.

Catching Meredith off guard, Aubrey asked, "Do you have any kids?"

"Um, what? No, no, no." Meredith said with a mixture of confusion and fear in her voice.

"This is my first. It wasn't planned. I worked as an advisory consultant for Elias-Clark Corporations. Needless to say when I got admitted to the hospital, I knew my job wouldn't be there when I came back."

"What? That's discrimination." Meredith asked concerned.

"Well, they didn't explicitly say that but I just know. Actually, I knew what was going to happen when I found out I was pregnant." The patient looked up at the ceiling as Meredith began wiping the gel off of her abdomen.

Meredith was hesitant, "May I ask you a question?'

Smiling, Aubrey responded, "You're wondering why I decided to have the baby." The smile faded from her face, "When I found out I was pregnant, the first thought that ran through my mind was 'I'm going to have it.' For the first time in my life, I actually had something that was mine. She's mine." The smile returned yet again as she placed a hand on her abdomen, "Sure, she has a father. But, no one else in this entire world can say that they're her mother."

Meredith just stared at the woman until the patient said something, "Dr. Grey?"

She snapped out of her thoughts, "What? Oh yeah, yes. I need to, um, get this ultrasound to Dr. Montgomery…"

Meredith printed out the ultrasound and quickly left the room. At first, she walked calmly through the hall but soon her pace picked up to a slow jog. Turning a sharp left into a stock room, Meredith closed the door and fell to her knees. Her breathing became rapid and she began to put her hands over her face but the feeling of photo paper came upon her face. Pulling the sonogram down, she stared at it.

Could this be _her_ baby in the future?


	5. Freak Outs and Agreements

The former Mrs. Shepherd was leaning against one of the nurses' station counters. Nonchalantly flipping through the nurses' copy of Ms. Parker's chart, Addison had her mind on other things. She couldn't stop thinking about Derek's baby; a baby that wasn't hers. She could have had a baby too; in fact, she could have been pregnant at that very moment. Remembering back to a couple of months ago, she wasn't even going to tell Mark about their baby but she had always preached to her patients that the father always needed to know. So, she told him and then he had to go out and buy that New York Yankee's onesie. And for a couple of days she actually believed that they could have made their relationship work and be a family. But, about a week later, she had found out he was sleeping with one of the nurses at the hospital. That's when she made her fateful decision; she was going to Seattle to win Derek back and in order to do that she was going to have to abort the baby. And, so, she did so.

The reason she always gave when someone found out she had an abortion and why she did was that she wanted Derek's baby. But, did she really want Derek's baby, specifically? She wanted to have a perfect family, where the husband and wife loved each other and would be great parents. She had no doubts that Derek would make a good father, but she knew that she'd never have his love.

And now, Meredith Grey had the love she had so desperately wanted and now could have that family. However, she didn't know what Meredith would do. She was an intern after all and she was sort of bumbling. Knowing of her strained relationship with her mother and her absent father, Addison wondered if Meredith would even know how to care for a baby. Even knowing all of the best ways to take care of a baby's health because she was a doctor didn't necessarily make a good parent.

Sighing, she started to refocus on her patient's chart. But, she was startled when someone called out her name. Turning to face whoever it was, she found Meredith Grey standing before her.

"I have the ultrasound you wanted." Meredith's eyes were still slightly puffy from when she broke down in one of the stock rooms. She hoped that Addison wouldn't notice and question her.

Clearing her throat, Addison tried to find her words, "Um, yes, right. Did everything look normal?"

Nodding her head, Meredith replied, "Yes."

Looking at the ultrasound she was handed, Dr. Montgomery gave her intern her next assignment, "All right, go prep Ms. Parker for surgery."

As Meredith was walking away, Addison asked something that she probably shouldn't have, "So, how is the morning sickness today, Dr. Grey?"

Meredith froze in her tracks and didn't even bother to turn and face Addison, "Um, uh, it's, uh, a little better."

She started to walk off again when Addison made another comment, "Don't worry, once you get past the first trimester, it should subside."

Walking away, Meredith couldn't take it anymore – the questions and stares. So, she started marching up the stairs, first handing George Ms. Parker's chart. Making her way up the stairs and down the hall, she arrived at the glass walled office. Entering, she began, "Chief, I need a word with you."

Straightening his coat, Dr. Webber sat down his chair and motioned for Meredith to the same, "What is it you need, Dr. Grey?"

Placing her hands on her knees, she began grabbing at her scrubs, "I need some time off."

Leaning back in his chair, he became concerned, "Before I can allow you to do that, I need to know why."

Meredith remained silent for a moment and began to send her gaze to the activities of the hospital going on behind the chief, "I…you probably already know, since the whole hospital seems to know, I'm pregnant." The Chief was about to speak but she continued rambling, "And, I have no idea what I'm going to do and being here and getting questioned and stared at isn't helping." She was now out of breath from talking so fast.

He just stared in awe at Meredith; she had been so candid with him. Of course, she had been candid with him once before when she called him on the fact that he and her mother had an affair. But, when it was about her personally, he usually had to be the last one to hear it through gossip. Looking at the expression on her face, he saw the dire confusion and pain that she seemed to be going through. "How long do you need?"

Upon hearing this, she was taken aback. She wasn't sure if he was actually going to let her so she tried to come up with an answer, "Um, I don't...two days."

Nodding, the chief replied, "I assume you want to leave immediately."

"If you don't mind, sir…"

Getting up, he walked over to Meredith and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "Don't worry. I'll talk to Bailey."

Clearing her throat, she stood to leave, "Thank you."

Leaving the Chief's office, she started to head towards the locker room to gather her things when Derek spotted her. She picked up her pace and proceeded down the stairs to the elevators. Pressing the down button, she hoped to whatever deity there was that the elevator door would open before Derek could catch up to her. Unfortunately, either she was denied this request or a deity did not existed.

"Meredith!" Derek called out.

The elevator door finally opened and Meredith quickly went in and pressed for the door to close, but Derek stopped the door right before it closed and entered the elevator. They were the only two on the elevator.

Derek just stared at Meredith while she studied the floor numbers on the panel in front of her. He was the first one to speak, "We have to talk about this."

She turned toward him and stared into his eyes, "I can't deal with you right now. I just have to get away from you and this hospital. I've got to figure this out."

His eyes widened and his mouth was agape, "This isn't your decision alone to make." He said with a tinge of anger in his voice.

Furrowing her brow, she looked at him with an expression of confusion mixed with shocked, "You didn't honestly believe that I'd do something without consulting you, did you?"

Folding his arms over his chest, he shook his head and looked down to the ground before bringing his gaze back to hers, "You've avoided all my calls and me for that matter. I didn't know what to believe!"

The two just stared at each other in silence not believing what the other had said. Luckily, the elevator had come to its stop. When it opened its doors, Meredith looked out and saw a nurse whisper something into another nurse's ear while glancing back and forth between her and Derek. Finally, Meredith had enough and approached the two nurses, "God, you know this is hard enough as it is without having to deal with all of the stares everyone is giving me. I know my life has been constant source of gossip but can't you at least for one just stop!?"

The two nurses just looked guilty and quickly got on the elevator without saying a word. Meredith had taken off for the locker room with Derek following swiftly behind her. Once she entered, she sat down on the bench and leaned over placing her head on her knees. Sitting down beside her, he gently placed a hand on her back, "It's going to be all right." He said in almost a whisper.

Suddenly, she stood up and began taking things out of her locker, "You don't know it's going to be all right. I don't know it's going to be all right that's why I'm taking time off to figure this out. And to do that, I have to get out of this hospital."

"Wait, you're taking time off? For how long and where are you going to go?"

She continued packing her things, "Two days and I don't know."

"Come with me to the trailer." He instructed more than asked.

She stopped for a moment and looked down at him, "What?"

Standing up, he grabbed her hand in his, "Come with me to the trailer and we can spend these two days figuring this out."

She looked at him intensely, "You're serious."

"I am."

"I don't know, Derek-" She was cut off.

"Meredith, we have to talk about this and out there it will just be the two of us and no one else." He said as convincingly as he could. His eyes pleaded with her to say yes.

Of course, her response wasn't an immediate yes as he hoped, "Do you really think the Chief will let both of us have time off?"

He breathed a small sigh of relief; at least, she hadn't completely disregarded the idea, "Considering the circumstances, I'm sure he will and besides there are other neurosurgeons besides me, not as good as me, but others all the same." He smiled at his comment, hoping it'd cheer her up at least a little bit.

And, she couldn't help but smile when he was being all McDreamy like, "Ok."

"Ok?" He asked making sure his ears weren't deceiving him.

"Yes." She reassured him.

Composing himself, he began, "Ok, right. You go on to the trailer while I talk to the chief. It shouldn't be more than an hour."

Nodding, she agreed and began to finish packing her things. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him leave and then proceeded to change out of her scrubs. Once finished, she grabbed her things and made her way out of the hospital and to her jeep. Cranking it up, she began to drive towards Derek's trailer and she knew once these two days were over both of their lives would be changed forever.


	6. The Decision

Pulling into Derek's driveway/yard, Meredith turned off her car and stepped onto the moist ground. Taking a deep breath, she began walking towards the trailer until she was hit with a sudden wave of nausea that was being caused by the scent of pine or the thought of actually having to make a decision soon. Her pace then turned into a sprint towards the bathroom. Unfortunately, the door to the trailer was locked.

Having nowhere else to turn, she placed her hand on one of the posts of the porch and leaned over to vomit. Once she was done, Meredith placed a hand on her abdomen and slowly shuffled over to the porch swing. Since becoming pregnant, everything seemed to take a harder toll on her. So, when she reached the swing, she laid down on it, even though it was rock hard, and fell asleep.

What seemed like only a few minutes but in reality was almost an hour, she felt a slight nudged on her shoulder. Snapping out of her sleep, she opened her eyes to see Derek standing over her, "That was quick…"

He smiled, "It's been an hour."

Sitting up, she rubbed her neck and leaned against the back of the swing while Derek joined her, "I guess I've just been really tired and throwing up all the time isn't exactly helping things." He placed a hand on her back and began softly massaging it when she added, "Oh, yeah, you might not want to look over the side of your porch."

Helping her to her feet, he said, "Let's go inside."

Unlocking the door, he opened it and allowed Meredith to enter first. He followed her as she made her way down the short hallway to the bed. Sitting down on the bed, almost like it was routine, she removed her shoes and eagerly got underneath the covers. Setting his keys down on the nightstand beside the bed, Derek lay down beside her on top of the covers. Just a day ago, they were in the same position at her house, except this time Meredith wasn't in hysterics. No, this time she had her eyes closed. He wasn't sure if she had fallen back asleep already or just acting like it so she wouldn't have to face the reality of what they were really here to do. Sighing, he closed his own eyes and drifted off to sleep quickly since he had been on call the previous night.

Hours had passed since the two of them had lain down together. Derek was the first one to awaken; it was dark outside and the only thing he could see was the red numbers of the alarm clock. It read 8:17. Rubbing his eyes, he reached over and turned lamp on. At first, he squinted his eyes at the sheer brightness of the fluorescent light. Rolling over towards Meredith, he pushed her hair back behind her ear and softly whispered her name.

Groaning, she opened her eyes but quickly shut them as the light blinded her, "What time is it?"

Sitting up, he ran his fingers through his hair, "Twenty after eight."

Standing up, he walked to the foot of the bed and turned toward her, "Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

"I think the only thing I could stomach right now are Saltines."

Nodding, he walked the two feet into the kitchen and began to dig around the back of the cupboards until he felt the rectangular box touch his hand. Grabbing it from its home, he made his way back to the bed and handed Meredith the crackers and rejoined her on the bed.

She opened the package greedily and began consuming its contents. During this time, the two sat in silence except for the loud crunching sounds that were being emitted from Meredith's chewing. Not being able to wait any longer, Derek decided to dive right into why they were here, "Are you afraid to be a mother?"

Quickly, the sounds of crunching stopped and the faint sound of swallowing could be heard. She remained silent for a moment trying to figure out how to answer him. When she finally did, she didn't look at him, rather she couldn't look at him, "Yes."

Even though she wasn't looking at him, he was looking at her, intently, "It's your mother isn't it? You think you'll be like her." She continued to stare into the box of Saltines. "But, Meredith, you're nothing like her."

It was at this point that Meredith dropped the box of Saltines and bolted out of the bed. Immediately reacting, Derek rushed forward to stop Meredith in her tracks, "Where are you going?"

For the first time since their conversation had started, she looked at him, "I can't have you psychoanalyzing me!"

"I'm not trying to psychoanalyze you! _We _need to make a decision about the baby!" He was already exasperated. When he was still married to Addison last year, most the time he never felt like arguing or talking about the things that needed to be discussed. He supposed it was because, in the back of his mind, he never really wanted to work out his marriage. But, now, he was facing a problem he had never encountered before and, also, because it was with Meredith, he actually cared.

Meredith just stared at him with her mouth agape; her voice lowered from her previous pitch, "You want to keep it, don't you?"

For the first time, Derek was speechless. Running his fingers through his dark locks, he sighed, "I…what if I do?" He questioned back.

Her voice was shaky now, "I'm an intern and…there's the whole other situation with our relationship. You _just_ got divorced and adding a baby to the mix…I just don't see how it could work." She argued her case as best as she could.

"I know we have a complicated past and I know it'll be difficult but I love you." He moved over to her and placed a gentle hand on her face and began lightly caressing her.

Lifting her own hand, she placed hers on top of his. After a few moments, she removed his hand but still clutched it, "For a second, let's say we can move past all of that stuff. But, that still doesn't eliminate the fact that I don't know how to be a mother."

He looked at her with a concerned expression on his face, "Meredith-"

She cut him off, "Yes, what you said was true. I'm afraid of becoming my mother."

This time it was Derek's turn to interject, "But, you're nothing like her. You're kind and gentle-"

Now, Meredith was trying to fight off tears, "I know that I'm nothing like her but what if I have this baby and I become her." She began to pace as she continued, "I mean who says she was always like the way she was when she was still lucid? My father had to have fallen in love with her somehow and from what I've seen of him recently I'm having a hard time seeing how they ever had anything in common." She paused and looked Derek straight in the eye, "So, yes, I may be nothing like her but what if becoming a mother makes me end up like her?"

Derek didn't say anything; he just walked forward and wrapped his arms around her. And, she didn't resist. Instead, she buried her face into his chest and began to let the tears flow. Pushing her away from him a bit, so he could see her face, he started, "Meredith, their relationship didn't last for many reasons. The main one was probably because of the affair your mother was having with the Chief. And, personally, I can't see those together either. Now, I realize that I don't know your mother like you do but I have to believe that the reason you're mother was so cold to you as a child was because she was scorned when the Chief didn't leave his wife." Wiping the tears off her face, he continued, "But, now, I realize that staying with Addison was the worst mistake I've ever made. I choose you and I have to believe that together our baby can have the childhood you didn't have."

Meredith clutched the fabric of his shirt as she began to speak, "I want to believe you. But, I'm afraid. Afraid that ten years from now, the same thing will happen to us as it did with you and Addison except this time you'll actually have a child to make you stay. I don't want to be in a loveless relationship." She swallowed before she proceeded once more, "You say you love me but didn't you love Addison at one point, too?"

Pulling away from him, she walked over to the nearest window and stared into the darkness. He, on the other hand, just stared down at the floor, "Yes, I loved her. But, God, until I met you, I didn't know what it was like to be _in_ love with someone." Watching his reflection in the window, she saw as he moved up behind her, "Yes, if we have this baby, there is going to be a million hurdles to overcome at the hospital. And, our relationship is complicated but it had been even before you knew I had a wife. Who knows, maybe in some strange way this baby will actually put a bit of normalcy in our lives."

She continued to stare out the window when she softly muttered, "Ok."

"Yeah?" He said in almost disbelief since her response was out of the blue.

She swiveled around to face him, "Yeah." He had so much faith in her and she could tell that he wanted this baby so much. How could she say no? She was just going to have to figure out a way not to completely screw up this kid.

He gave her one of his McDreamy half grins before enveloping her in a hug. And for the first time in a day and a half, she genuinely smiled. They, who were the attending and intern sleeping together then the couple who was having an affair to being just 'friends', were having a baby.


	7. Finn Dandridge: Professional Stalker

The faint glimmer of sunlight entered through the small crack of the curtains. Derek Shepherd had been awake long before the sun rise. He figured it to be at least 10 o'clock. Meredith, on the other hand, was still sound asleep. The previous night's events and the mere fact that she was in the early stages of pregnancy had taken a toll on her mind and body. But, Derek had barely been able to sleep; he couldn't help but think about all that had happened. He was going to be a _father_ and he couldn't help but smile. The entire night he had his hand softly resting on Meredith's still flattened stomach. Sometimes, he would lightly rub where his child grew.

A small mumble came from Meredith as she began to stir awake. Placing a hand through her tangled hair, she had to realize where she was for a second. Turning over, she looked into Derek's eyes and whispered, "Hi."

He grinned at her, "Hi. Did you sleep well?"

Rubbing her eyes and yawning, she responded, "A little bit better than I have been. I've just been so tired lately."

He reached over and began to rub her back, "I'm sorry."

Sighing, she smiled weakly, "It's alright. I guess I should get used to it because in less than a year's time we'll have an infant keeping us up all night."

He could hear the nervousness in her voice. Not knowing what to say, he decided to change the subject, "Do you feel up to breakfast?"

She groaned, "I don't know. I'll probably just throw it up."

"When was the last time you ate?" He questioned, slightly concerned.

"I had a few Saltines last night and before that…" She hung her head down, "I don't really remember. Every time I smell food, I just want to throw up."

Getting up, he walked in front of the bed, "You should at least try to eat a little something. How about some toast?"

Shrugging, she answered, "I guess. But, I'll be surprised if I manage to keep it down."

Walking the few feet to the kitchen, Derek began to search for the bread. Meanwhile, Meredith was left alone in the bedroom. Staring at the ceiling, she began to contemplate the things that were going on. She knew that there would be major implications when she slept with Derek. For instance, the situation between her and Finn would become even more complicated than it was. Finn. She grimaced when she thought about him. With finding out she was pregnant and then deciding to keep the baby with Derek, she hadn't let him know where she was or what was going on.

Slowly getting out of bed, she started walking toward the kitchen where her bag was. Finn had probably left her several messages on her cell phone. As she continued on, a wave of vertigo hit her. Derek, who had been watching her since she got out of bed, rushed forward and quickly caught her before she fell. Leading her over to one of the two kitchen chairs, he worriedly began to question her, "Are you alright? What happened?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. It was just like all the energy left my body for a moment." She tried to reassure him.

At this time, the toast decided to pop up from the toaster. Turning around, Derek placed it on a plate and set it down in front of her before taking a seat on the other side of the small kitchen table. Meredith began to nibble on her toast when Derek began to question her further, "Why'd you get up? I would have brought it to you in bed."

Swallowing the little bit she had attempted to eat, she sighed, "I was coming to get my cell phone to check my messages." She began to look at her toast as if it was the most interesting thing in the world, "Finn's probably been worried about me. I haven't talked to him since I found out I was pregnant."

"Oh." Was all Derek managed to say. It was then it hit him; was Meredith only with him because she was pregnant? If they were going to be together, he wanted to not just because of the baby but because she loved him as much as he did her. So, he decided to ask, "Meredith, you don't want to just be with me because of the baby do you?"

Looking up at him, she stared at him with disbelief, "Derek, I wouldn't have even considered doing the whole family thing if I didn't love you."

"Ok, but what are you going to tell Finn?" He breathed a sigh of relief.

Sighing, she picked up her toast and tried to eat some more, "I guess I'll just tell him the truth. He deserves that." Suddenly dropping the piece of toast she held in her hand, Meredith darted up from the chair and ran into the bathroom to vomit. This time, however, Derek quickly followed and held her hair back.

Once she was done, he handed her a hand towel to wipe her mouth with. Leaning up against the wall, she looked at him, "You didn't have to do that, you know."

He just shrugged, "You have to do all the work to carry my child. It's the least I could do." Moving over to her side, he helped her to her feet and led her over to the bed. She happily welcomed the soft mattress.

Mumbling, she commented, "We seem to be spending a lot of time in bed and there hasn't even been any sex."

He laughed, "Nothing wrong with that."

She snorted, "Oh really, this coming from the guy who would spend every night for an entire week straight at my house."

Derek just shrugged and smiled slyly, "All in due time. I'm just waiting for the second trimester sex cravings."

Taking one of the pillows from behind her head, she whacked him on the head and giggled, "What makes you think I'm going to be one of those pregnant women?"

"Call it a feeling." His eyes glimmered at her mischievously.

After the playful teasing had subsided, Meredith's expression turned to a more serious one as an important question lingered in her mind, "What are we going to do about our living arrangements? No offense, but the trailer isn't exactly baby friendly and not to mention there's no way we can all fit in here."

"I guess we'll stay at your place by default but what about George and Izzie?" He asked.

"I don't know. I don't want to kick them out just because I'm having a baby. I have that extra room that I store all my mother's things in." She sighed, knowing the complicated situation they had at hand.

Not wanting anymore stress on her than there was, he assured her, "Well, we have the next thirty five weeks to make a decision. Don't worry about it too much just yet."

"Speaking of my house, I probably should go back. I didn't exactly bring any clothes to change into." Meredith got up and began to search for her shoes and the few things she did bring with her.

Derek raised an eyebrow at the suddenness of her actions, "You want to go now?"

"Well, George is probably at work and Izzie said something about going out grocery shopping yesterday so we won't be bombarded with questions if we go now." She really didn't feel like facing Izzie and George's questions right when she returned, so going back now she'd be able to at least relax in her own home for at least a few hours.

Changing out of his sweat pants and t-shirt, he put on a pair of jeans and white button up long sleeved shirt. He then proceeded to pack several items of clothing, a razor, and etc. He knew he wanted to stay with Meredith. He didn't exactly know when he'd officially move in with her or what he'd eventually do with the trailer but at the moment he didn't want to spend a second without being near her.

Walking into the kitchen, he noticed Meredith waiting, "Ready?" She nodded as they made their way out of the door, "Should we take one car or two?"

"Um, I guess two. I mean you'll have to come back here eventually." She started walking over to her jeep.

Cranking up, the two began to make their way back to Meredith's house.

The thirty minute drive from the trailer to the city was near complete as they arrived at her house. And as the two exited their cars and made their way down the walkway, Meredith began to unlock the door and was almost about to enter when someone came from behind the trees.

"Oh my God!" Meredith exclaimed out of fear and shock which only subsided a little when she realized who it was. Trying to compose herself as best she could, which she failed miserably at, she began, "Finn, what are you doing here?"

Not removing his gaze from Derek, he ignored her question and propositioned her with one of his own, "Did you spend the night with him?"

Flustered, Meredith tried to come up with answer that would ease him into to what was about to come, "Um, well, technically, yes."

"When you said you wanted to date both of us, I didn't think that entailed you sleeping with him." Finn wasn't the type of guy to get angry easily but he had been waiting patiently for Meredith to make a decision and he didn't feel like being dragged around if she wasn't ever going to choose him.

"I haven't been sleeping with him!" Meredith started to protest.

"So, I'm just supposed to believe that you stayed over with him and nothing happened." Finn released his glare from Derek for a moment, to look at Meredith.

"Look, Derek and I," she turned back to Derek for a brief second before continuing, "had some things to discuss." This was not the time or place she wanted to tell Finn that she was pregnant.

"It took you all night to discuss whatever it was? Come on, Meredith, if you're sleeping with him, just tell me." He was in total disbelief with what Meredith was saying.

Getting angry and tired, Meredith spat out, "I'm pregnant!"

Finn was taken back and looked at the ground trying to figure how to respond to the revelation she delivered, "What? Who?" He looked over to Derek, knowing instantly at Derek's expression that he was the father. "You said you weren't sleeping with him!"

"I haven't been!" Meredith demanded because it was partially true.

"Unless you're going to bear the second coming, I think you have." Finn questioned with anger returning in his voice.

"It was one time and we didn't plan it!" She was getting exasperated.

Becoming eerily quiet for a moment, Finn quietly asked, "When?"

With tears starting to form in her eyes, she couldn't look at him and meekly answered, "Prom."

"Prom? The night I told you I had plans for us?" His voice cracked.

Obviously, her now pregnant body was not tolerating stress as well as it used to and sent a rush of nausea through her causing her to bolt into the house and up the stairs to the bathroom.

Derek had also been protective of Meredith, even when he was still with Addison, but now that she was pregnant that protectiveness increased exponentially. He had remained silent during their conversation because he felt any comment by him would probably worsen things. But, the last straw was when Meredith had rushed into the housed.

Before he took off to follow her, Derek glared at Finn, "I think you should leave."

Walking into the house, Derek closed the door behind him and took the stairs two at a time. Entering a position he had seen her in before and probably would again before this pregnancy was over, Meredith was lying on the floor with her eyes closed and a hand on her head.

Looking up when she saw him, she groaned. Kneeling down, he placed her head in his lap and answered a question she didn't even have to ask, "He's gone."

It was then Meredith finally let the tears go. Everything in her life had gone from bad to worse. Through her sobs, she choked out, "I'm such an adulterous whore."

Rubbing her back gently, Derek frowned, "No, you're not."

Motioning to no one in particular with her hand, she continued beating herself up, "He didn't deserve that."

He whispered, "I know, but the circumstances in which you told him could have been better. But, he's gone now and you don't have to see him again."

Clutching his shirt, she sobbed into it, "Promise me you won't leave me again."

Derek was a bit shocked; he had never seen Meredith so helpless, "I promise."

She had always tried to put on a brave front when bad things happened. Even when she found out about Addison, he only saw her breakdown once. But, he knew that now was different. Now, her hormones were all over the place and plus the added stress of an unexpected pregnancy and hurting someone she cared for was taking its toll not only on her body but her mind as well.

The two remained in near silence on the cold bathroom floor with only the light sob coming from Meredith.


	8. Realizations

Growing up, Meredith rarely got sick; sure, there was the occasional strep throat and ear infection when she was in elementary school but after that she couldn't remember a time when she vomited, except in her freshman year as an undergraduate when a combination of Raman noodles and only three hours of sleep caused her to be the sick the first time in years and the occasional hangover, of course.

Now, in her eighth week of pregnancy, she was quite sure that in the past eight weeks she had thrown up more than she had ever before in her life. All she knew was that whoever made up the name 'morning sickness', undoubtedly a man, was thoroughly mistaken. For Meredith, it was everyday and anytime of the day, in the morning, sometimes during rounds, and forget about eating lunch since any type of food besides saltines and water had her running to the bathroom. And, whenever he was around, Derek was sure to be by her side to either hold her hair or to have a paper towel ready to wipe her mouth. After all, he was half responsible.

But, he didn't care; it was all worth it, especially today. Today was Meredith's first appointment with her OB/GYN, which was why they were both still in the bed at 7:23 in the morning. Derek lay on his side watching her sleep. Within the last month, he had practically moved in with her except for a few miscellaneous things that he left back at the trailer. He didn't want to miss anything, not just with the pregnancy but with the little things in Meredith's life, waking up beside her and how long it took her to shower. He had missed so much when he had chosen Addison so he couldn't help but stare at her.

She was lying on her side with her back to him. So as not to wake her, he slowly moved closer to her and wrapped his arm around her abdomen. Apparently, even when he was asleep at least according to Meredith, he would put his arm around her and his hand would go straight to her stomach where the baby rest. Perhaps, it was his fatherly instincts starting to kick in; wanting to be sure that his child was safe.

His peaceful contemplation was soon interrupted by a buzzing noise. Looking over to the alarm clock it only read 7:27 and it wasn't due to go off until 7:30. Averting his eyes from the clock, he saw Meredith's phone ringing. It was at this time that the phone had slightly awakened her causing her to roll over and snuggle into Derek's chest. Wanting nothing more than to just lie there with her he knew that whoever was calling Meredith at this time in the morning must have something important to say. Reaching over her, he picked up her phone and looked at the caller I.D. It read 'Incoming Call From…Nursing Home.'

Gently, he began to shake Meredith awake, "Meredith, it's your Mom's nursing home calling."

Groaning, she rolled over onto her back and flipped open the phone, "Hello?"

Figuring he needed to get out of bed anyways, Derek pushed back the sheets and began to get ready for the day. First, he walked over to Meredith's side of the bed and turned the alarm clock off. As he was doing this, he listened to Meredith's conversation that caused her expression to go from tired to one that was a mix of concern and annoyance.

Meredith sighed, "Well, I have an appointment this morning." She listened as the person on the other end of the phone continued to talk. Pulling back a few strands of her hair that was in her face, she responded yet again to the person's request, "Alright, I think I can manage to stop by for a few minutes. Okay, you're welcome." Closing her phone, she threw it at the foot of the bed and lay back down on her pillow.

"Is everything ok?" Derek asked as he began to remove his shirt in order to take a shower.

"Apparently, my Mom's not eating. And the staff at the nursing home insisted that I come over this morning." She told him while finally getting out of bed.

"Are we going to have time before your appointment?" He asked walking into her bathroom and began to brush his teeth.

Following him, she leaned against the doorway, "We'll if we manage to get ready in an hour that'll leave us about an hour before my appointment."

Spitting into the sink, he wondered, "Do you think we can get out of here in an hour? I mean we both have to take showers."

She smirked slyly, "We can always take a shower together."

Wiping the toothpaste residue from his mouth, he walked over to Meredith, "Ah, so, another bright and shiny moment?"

"Yes, because that's what bright and shiny couples do." She began to wrap her arms around his torso.

He leaned in to kiss her, "I'm glad we're bright and shiny then." But, before his lips met hers, he felt her arms leave his abdomen while she darted to the right and downwards to the toilet to start her morning ritual.

Thankfully, after only two trips to the porcelain bowl and one long, hot shower together, they were on their way to visit Ellis Grey. Well, Meredith was on her way to visit her mother while Derek would wait in the lobby. Pulling his sedan into the parking lot, he heard Meredith release an audible sigh. In some sick way, the tables had turned. Ellis was now as much of a burden to Meredith as she was to her mother when she was a child.

As they entered the lobby, Derek found his way to a leather couch while Meredith talked to the receptionist. Meredith walked back over to Derek for a brief moment while the receptionist notified her mother's primary caregivers that she had arrived. He looked up at her and caressed her arm. Sighing once more she began, "I don't know why they think I'll be able to get her to eat. To her, I'm just five years old again."

Staring at her with concern in his eyes, Derek wanted to tell her that it would all be all right but he knew when it came to her mother nothing was ever right. Luckily, there wasn't time for an awkward silence to occur because Ellis' main nurse came out to bring Meredith back into the sitting area.

To Meredith, it was strange how the human mind worked. Sure, she had assisted Derek on many neurological cases but that was always about the physical and biological aspect of the brain. And while she took the required psychological class as an undergrad in college, she hardly remembered anything besides the biology of the brain. So, she was always perplexed when she was in a bad mood but suddenly had the urge to laugh. That's why when she arrived to see her mother busily "working" on a patient's chart that she seemed somewhat chipper.

"Mom," she sat down beside her mother, "the nurses tell me that you aren't eating." Folding her hands, she waited for a response.

Her mother didn't even glance up from what she was writing, "No time. I've been in the OR all morning and I've got back to back surgeries the rest of the day so..."

Meredith glanced down at the floor, "Look, I'm sorry I haven't been visiting it's just that I've been…"

She was cut off by her mother's coldness, "I don't have time to coddle you. I'm trying to save lives here. Do you understand? Do you?"

Meredith hated that even now her mother could make her feel like a child that was doing something wrong. Luck seemed to be on her side today, a male voice that she instantly recognized spoke aloud, "Dr. Grey"

She wasn't quite sure who the Chief was talking to specifically but her mother only assumed it was her and ran with open arms exclaiming his name. Taking a box from his hands, she smiled, "For me? You shouldn't have." Sitting back down at the table, she instantly began eating the pastry.

The Chief then began to proceed telling her what she already knew, "The nurses say she hasn't been eating."

Meredith just gave him slight smile and turned to face her mother when Ellis talked with her mouth full, "Oh, you wonderful man."

He looked back to Meredith, "I'm interrupting. I'll go-"

She cut him off, "No, Chief, uh, you stay and I'll go." Her smile widened as she began to leave.

Entering back into the lobby, Derek got up to meet Meredith, "How'd it go? I saw the Chief come in."

Meredith put her hands into her coat pocket, "Well, the Chief comes in and she immediately starts eating. So, I guess that solves that problem."

She proceeded out of the door and towards Derek's car. Unlocking the door with the key chain remote, the two entered the car. He hesitated for a moment to see if she wanted to talk about it but instead she said, "Are you going to crank up? We don't want to be late for my appointment."

Sighing, he started the car.

As they drove to Seattle Grace, since they both decided that having a doctor where they worked would be the easiest thing for everyone, Derek decided to break the silence about what happened in the nursing home. "Are you ok? I mean I know it's never easy seeing your mom."

She watched the scenery go by through the window, "I thought were going to be bright and shiny from now on."

He glanced over to her while looking back to the road, "Sometimes, you have to face the dark and twisty for a little while to be bright and shiny in the long run."

He knew that he had been with Meredith too long; he had started using the interns 'lingo.' But if that was the only down side to being with her then he'd surely take it.

Knowing he was right, she began, "I see how my mother lights up when the Chief comes around. She's able to love him so much yet never once have I ever seen her show me that kind of affection. And, I'm afraid. Afraid that I'm just like her because I love you like she loves him but what about when it comes to the person I'm supposed to love the most? How am I going to be then?"

"Meredith, I've said this once and I'll say it as many times as I have to. You aren't your mother and you never will be. Remember when I first met you and you broke protocol by telling those parents that their baby had a life threatening heart defect even though the PEDs department said it was only a benign heart murmur."

He continued, "And you light up when you visit the nursery. Do you think that your mother would or ever did anything like that?"

Meredith merely shook her head. He placed his hand on hers, "We'll get through this together."

The rest of the ride to the hospital went without incident. And the two rode up the familiar elevator to the maternity ward where the other OB/GYN attendings were. They entered the small office and Meredith checked in and sat beside Derek. They weren't the only ones in the waiting room. There were three other women there. They all ranged from probably eight months to about 5 months in their stages of pregnancy. Derek had picked up an old issue of American Baby and was thumbing through the pages and reading about how to deal with a baby with colic. She watched as the time ticked by and each of the women got called back until finally it was her turn.

The technician lead them back to room three and proceeded to instruct Meredith, "Alright, honey, just change into this here smock and Dr. Gallagher will be here shortly." The woman was obviously new here since her voice was tinged with a deep Southern accent.

Derek laughed once she left the room, "Well, if we have her every appointment then these visits are sure to be lively."

Meredith mocked glared at him and went behind the curtain to change. "You know, I've seen you naked before, lots of times actually."

She spoke while changing, "Yes, well, I don't want anyone walking in and exposing myself to the whole world. I'd like to at least keep whatever dignity I have left." Emerging from behind the curtain, Meredith hopped up onto the table.

Not long after, the doctor entered, "Hello, you must be Meredith." She extended her hand to Meredith and then looked toward Derek, "And, you must be the baby's father."

Meredith nodded, "This is my boyfriend, Derek."

She also shook Derek's hand and introduced herself, "I'm Dr. Gallagher."

Derek then proceeded to pull his chair closer to the examination table while the doctor prepared the ultrasound machine. Sitting in front of Meredith's legs, she positioned the vaginal probe until the image of the fetus appeared on the screen.

The doctor had the screen facing her so they couldn't see what was going on. However, the doctor soon asked, "Would you like to see?"

Derek and Meredith both nodded while the doctor turned the screen. There on the screen was a small round blob. Even though she didn't have to, the doctor pointed to the small, beating heart.

They stared in awe at the sigh before them. Seeing her baby for the first time, even if it did look like a moon rock, made her realize that this was really happening. And even though she was scared to death about this whole thing, Meredith couldn't help but smile just a bit when she looked at the image.

As for Derek, a huge grin spread over his face. This was their baby – his and Meredith's. For once, things in his life were finally coming together.


	9. Test of Faith

After their appointment at Meredith's OB/GYN, the couple parted ways to get ready for a long day at work because no sooner than they had went on call there was a head trauma case arriving. Since all of the other interns had been on rounds earlier, they were already assigned to other attendings. So, Meredith was paired with Derek.

Meredith, Derek, and Bailey were waiting outside of the emergency room doors when the ambulance arrived. The EMT who was rolling the stretcher with a young girl on it began to recite the patient information, "Mia Hanson, five year old female crush injury to the abdomen and blood trauma to the head. BP 90/60, pulse 110."

Derek had seen many children with head injuries before and it had always been awful to see but this time it went deeper. Being the professional surgeon that he was, he had learned to push those feelings aside until the patient was well, "How was she injured?"

The EMT paused only for a millisecond, "Backed over by her mom's SUV."

Upon hearing this, Derek side glanced at Meredith; he wished that Meredith wasn't there to hear that but he couldn't worry about that right now. He had to save this girl's life. While he and Bailey moved the girl into the ER, Meredith stayed behind with who she assumed was the girl's mother to get more patient information.

Surprisingly, Meredith was able to stay calm through all of this. It was her job and she knew that being pregnant wasn't going to diminish her ability to do her job. It wasn't until what came next that threw her off. Apparently, the woman she was taking to wasn't the child's mother; it was her nanny. Meredith knew all too well about having a nanny. She had several growing up as a child and they were all stern, like her mother. That's probably why Ellis would hire them in the first place.

After getting all of the required information, Meredith was now in the ER examining room with Derek and Bailey. While they were searching the girl's head for the exact cause of her brain trauma, the father entered the room. He began laying blame on both of the women. But, mostly, he was upset at his wife for not being able to forget about her job for five minutes to watch their daughter. Bailey took this time to live up to her Nazi name and give them all a wake up call by telling them that it was the car's fault.

Meredith couldn't help but wonder if this is what her parents' relationship was like, her dad yelling at her mom about not being home enough and too concerned with her job. Actually, she figured it was only partially like that. Her dad did disapprove of her mom being at work so much but from what she had seen of him it didn't seem like he had the nerve to say anything to her mother.

Derek proceeded to order a CT scan so Meredith wheeled the girl upstairs while Bailey followed. Once they arrived, they were having a hard time trying to get the girl to stay still so the scan could take the best picture possible. The girl kept saying she was scared. Meredith tried to comfort the girl by saying that her mommy and daddy were here even they were barely paying any attention to her. So, she tried to tell the girl that it was just a big camera that was going to take her picture. The parents finally came over to their daughter and the mother tried her hand at soothing the girl but she just cried out for her nanny. Meredith watched as the mother ignored the comment and told her daughter to be very still but the girl still wanted her nanny. In the back of her mind, Meredith continued to tell herself that she wouldn't let her child end up like this but it didn't help that all her experiences told her otherwise.

Being brought back to her thoughts when the mother starting singing, the girl became upset again for it seemed that her own mother didn't even know her favorite song. Meredith just stood there in silence; she almost felt pity for the parents. Almost being the definitive word here.

Once the CT results appeared on the screen, Bailey discovered that there was internal bleeding in the girl's abdomen and they would have to control that before any brain surgery could be preformed.

As Meredith was preparing the girl for surgery, she said, "I'm scared."

Pausing for a moment, Meredith tried to think of something to comfort her, "It'll be all right. It'll be just like going to sleep and when you wake up you'll be all better."

She could tell by the look in Mia's eyes that she wasn't buying it so, she tried to get her mind off of the subject, "So, Mia, do you go to school?"

The little girl tried to nod but the head brace she was prevented her, "Uh huh, I'm in kindergarten." She said in only a way a five year old could.

Continuing in her pre-op rounds, she continued asking the girl questions, "So, do you have any friends?"

She could see that some of the fear had subsided in her eyes and the child responded, "Mmhm, my best friend Tracy just got a new sister. I wish I had a sister. Are you a Mommy?"

Meredith was glad the girl had calmed down even though she was rambling; it was amazing how energetic children even when the anesthetics were kicking in. Of course, Meredith was thrown off guard by the child's last question. What was she supposed to say? Technically, she wasn't a mother – yet. But would she tell this child that she would be?

After a brief bit of pondering, Meredith opted against telling the girl anything. It would just be easier that way. It was amazing how she could complicate things even from a simple five year old's question. Now, she wasn't about to leave the girl hanging so, she said, "It's time for you to go to surgery." She wasn't just avoiding the question. Ok, it was the main reason but it was really time to wheel her to surgery.

Once they put Mia under anesthesia, Bailey began to open the small child's abdomen. As she was surveying the damage, Meredith asked, "Do you think you'll be able to save Mia's kidneys?"

Continuing to operate Bailey answered, "Only if we can control the bleeding. Here cauterize after me." Bailey felt sorry for the girl, "Poor baby, it's not going to be an easy recovery."

While cauterizing the bleeding, Meredith commented, "Well, with parents like that, she didn't have it easy to begin with."

Bailey glanced up at her intern, "People do the best they can, Dr. Grey."

Being a child of the kind of parents Mia had, Meredith became defensive, "They don't know their kid's blood type. They don't know her favorite song. People want high power careers; I get that but they should think twice before having kids."

For a brief moment, Miranda Bailey just stared, no, glared up at Meredith until she realized Bailey was looking at her. Then, it dawned on her. "Oh, I-I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean -"

Cutting her off, Bailey commented harshly, "What that I should be at home with my baby instead of this little girl and a surgical intern who can't cauterize the bleeders!"

"Dr. Bailey…" Meredith began.

Cutting her off again, Bailey continued, "If I were you Dr. Grey, I'd keep my eye on the surgical area and my mouth shut, especially, in your predicament of being a first year intern and pregnant."

After the surgery, Meredith was sitting in the back hallway with the other interns telling them about what happened earlier, "…and then, she gets all defensive and starts saying how hard it's going to be for me to be a mother and an intern at the same time like I already don't know. And, besides, I never said that she was like that! Also, I've been a child of those types of parents and I'll be damned if I act like that to my kid and only see it on the weekends."

While she was ranting, Cristina was studying up for another one of Burke's surgeries, "Oh, so you plan on being Mommy-Tracked?"

At this time Meredith was fiddling with her palm pilot and looked up at Cristina when she said this, "No. I'm going to try to balance everything out. I'm trying to be optimistic."

Cristina raised an eyebrow and started in her usual sarcastic tone of voice, "Because you've been so great in balancing everything now."

Izzie decided to add her comments on the whole situation, "Izzie thinks that Meredith is being a bit delusional."

She said while turning towards Alex and he said, "Alex agrees with Izzie except Alex thinks that Meredith is being completely delusional."

Meredith just glared at them, "I am not and why are you talking like that?"

Izzie started, "Alex and Izzie have a patient that speaks about himself in the third person."

Alex continued, "At first, I thought it was annoying at first but now I kind of like it."

In a semi-irritated voice, Meredith asked, "Great, is it going to stop soon?"

Looking up again from her books, Cristina asked, "Whoa, what happened? This morning you were so bright and shiny that you needed to be kicked in the face."

Meredith stood up to leave, "I'm bright. I'm shiny."

She was now back to check up on Mia and standing outside her room with the most recent MRI report. Earlier, she had paged Derek; the news wasn't good. Approaching her with a small grin on his face, in fact he had been doing that a lot lately; he saw the concern etched on Meredith's face. He knew that the MRI for the girl was serious. Quickly scanning the report, he knew what had to be done, "I'm going to have to go in to relieve the pressure."

She looked at him with surprise, "Two surgeries in one day?"

He looked at the small girl through the glass window, "She's tough and besides we don't have any other choice."

Derek knew that this case was hitting Meredith a little harder than usual. He deduced that she was probably having mixed feelings since she sympathized with the girl who had parents like that and then she probably was worrying about if they were going to turn into those people.

He didn't want to admit it but this case was also affecting him more than it should as well. Having been a surgeon for years, he had become a pro at being objective and not getting involved with patients but that was before - before he was going to be a father. And that's when it hit him, he was going to responsible for this little human being and what if he couldn't protect it? Derek had seen so many cases where parents couldn't protect their children, even when they had the proper safety equipment. Some had even died on the operating table. But, he also knew that he couldn't be one of those overbearing parents that never let their child do anything. Snapping out of his thoughts, he knew that right now he couldn't worry about it since his baby wouldn't even be here for another seven months and wouldn't even begin to start walking until at least a year old. Besides, he needed to concentrate on saving this little girl.

After the brain surgery, Meredith had woken the girl to make sure everything had gone well. She started to check Mia's pupil's and started telling to say something for her like her name and Meredith's name. The girl only asked for her nanny. Side glancing at the parents, Meredith told Mia that her saying that was good and told her that her Mommy was here. But, the child still cried out for her Nanny. This caused the mother to get upset, almost on the verge of tears, and leave the room. For the first time since the parents had arrived, Meredith had actually felt some sympathy for the parents. Perhaps, they really did love her and maybe it took something terrible as this to wake them up.

It was now after midnight and Mia had been doing quite well, so Meredith trudged into an on call room. She wondered if she was having all these feelings because of all the hormone surges she was supposed to be having. Of course, she then considered that she usually acted like this - that is freaking out about things; she dreaded to see how she would be when she got further along in her pregnancy.

Not long after she had lain down on the bottom bunk, there was a slight knock on the door and Derek quickly entered and closed the door, locking it behind him. It was pitch black the room except for the small glimmer of light coming from underneath the door. Even in the darkness, he could still see the outline of her petite figure. For a minute or two, they sat in silence until Derek spoke up, "Hi."

Meredith cleared her throat, "Hi."

Drumming his fingers on the door behind him, Derek decided to make the move to go and lay down beside her. Instinctively, she spooned up against him. Burying his face in her hair he sighed and began rubbing her abdomen. Meredith then put her own hand on top of his and began following his motions.

"We're not going to be like that, right?" She asked.

"Never." He only had to say that one word in order to soothe her.

After that, the two drifted into slumber.


	10. The Calm Before the Storm

Derek Shepherd had just gotten out of a long surgery where he had to repair a fractured skull on a patient that was in a head on collision with another car. Luckily, he wasn't on call tonight and neither was Meredith. He was ready to spend some time away from the hospital with her. As he was walking toward the locker rooms to change and go home, he felt his cell phone vibrate. Taking it off the clip that he wore on the waist of his scrubs, he instantly answered it without looking at the caller ID since he figured it was undoubtedly Meredith asking him what time he'd be home. Unfortunately, something that was supposed to be undoubted turned into chaos.

"Derek!" An older woman's voice said on the other end of the line.

Cursing himself for not checking the caller ID, Derek put on his best faux happiness act and greeted the person on the other end, "Hi, Mom."

"It's been ages since I've talked to you! You never answer your phone anymore and if I didn't send Nancy out there a couple of weeks of ago I probably wouldn't even know you were still alive!" She scolded him in a way only a mother could.

Leaning against the railing of the long walk way that stood on the second floor, Derek sighed, "I know haven't called much but I've been busy."

It was technically true. With all the surgeries then Meredith and the baby, he really didn't have that much time to call her. Of course, whenever he did see her name on his caller ID, he just happened to not hear it ring.

"I'd say. Getting divorced from Addison and sleeping with that promiscuous intern of yours."

He turned around to face the large, glass window that he stared out of so often, "What has Nancy been telling you? She's not slutty and I love her. And may I remind you that Addison was the one that cheated on me."

"I did not call her…that word, Derek. I said promiscuous." She said as a matter of fact.

"It's the same thing, Mom!" He yelled a little too loudly into the phone causing some stares from some of the by passing staff.

"Don't exclaim at your mother dear. I thought I taught you better than that. Of course, I thought I taught you better in a lot of other things too-"

"Mother!" He yelled into the phone yet again.

"I think I should come out there. I haven't seen you in ages and I think I need to see what's really going on out there for myself." Mrs. Shepherd was not satisfied with the report from Nancy that Derek was just being Derek.

"No! You are not coming out here, mother." Derek had enough drama as it is going on in his life the last thing he needed was his mother to come out her to meet Meredith and then find out he had gotten her pregnant out of wedlock. He knew he'd have to tell his mother eventually about the baby; he just didn't know when the right time was to do so. Probably never, but he knew that his mother would eventually find out anyway and get so upset that she didn't know she was having another grandchild. Maybe, he'd just send her a birth announcement.

Continuing, he once again stated that it was not a good time to come to Seattle, "I've got a really busy schedule for the next several weeks. We'll work out some other time that you can come out here, alright?"

He desperately wanted to get out of this situation so he did the only thing he could do – lie. "Mom, my pager just went off I've got to go. I'll talk to you later. Bye, I love you."

Flipping the phone shut, Derek knew he should have felt bad for lying to his mother but he figured that it'd be the last thing on her mind when he told her the truth.

After the twenty minute ride home, Derek entered the once former home of Dr. Ellis Grey to find Izzie cooking dinner and Meredith picking at the various ingredients that she had used. Walking over to Meredith, he quickly kissed her on the check and examined what was going on before him, "You're actually cooking something that's not a baked good?" He asked only half seriously.

Glaring at him, she replied, "I'll have you know that I've broadened my cooking horizons."

Placing his briefcase in the closet, he commented, "We'll it smells half decent. What is it?"

Continuing to poke around in the pan on the stove, she replied, "Sautéed boneless chicken breast with baby carrots and baby potatoes. I thought I'd theme it, all things considering." Izzie motioned to Meredith with a ladle in her hand.

Meredith took this time get up from her seat at the island and take out the plates. Walking over to Derek, she placed them in his hands, "Here, go set table."

Faking like he was hurt, he said, "Me? I just spent the last sixteen hours at the hospital."

Shaking her head while smiling, she replied, "Well, you're the only one who hasn't contributed in helping this meal so this is the least you can do."

Knowing full and well about Meredith's cooking skills, he quickly asked, "Oh, and what did you do?"

Shrugging, Meredith answered, "Why, provided the inspiration for the theme of course. Didn't you hear Izzie before?" A sly grin came upon her face as she went to get the glasses out of the cabinet.

He raised an eyebrow, "You do realize that you couldn't have provided that inspiration without me. So, you should help me set the table too."

Giggling, she continued to banter with him, "Well, you know what they say. Pregnant women shouldn't carry heavy loads."

Somehow, he knew that even if he continued to play with her he'd still end up setting the table by himself, "I'm going to ignore the fact that you sit in and help on countless surgeries all the time and set the table all by myself because I'm such a great boyfriend."

Sarcastically, she replied, "Yes, because setting the table for dinner automatically makes you the best boyfriend in the world." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and gently pushed him to the dining room.

As dinner was coming to an end, Izzie asked, "So…have you decided on any names yet?"

Upon being asked this, Meredith choked on her water, "Um…what?"

Sighing, Izzie repeated her question, "Have you decided-"

Rolling her eyes, she replied, "I know what you said. I'm only ten weeks along. We've got plenty of time."

Derek took this time to be funny and interject, "Well, I personally like Octavius, if I do say so myself." Once again, Meredith gave her eyes a workout.

At Derek's response, Izzie cried out, "See! You can't just take these things lightly. I mean whatever you name your kid will be with it for the rest of its life! Plus, you don't want to be those types of parents that wait like six months to name their kid." She continued to rant, "I mean the name you give to your kid is supposed to show how much you love and care for them. A name represents the hopes and dreams you have for your child. I think it's an honor to give a new human being their title for life."

During her rant, Meredith and Derek just stared at Izzie. Noticing this, Izzie questioned, "What!? I'm serious."

Derek just shook his head while Meredith sighed and laid her own head on his shoulder. After a few moments of sitting like that, she signed yet again and said, "I'm exhausted but we need to get these dishes cleared first."

Izzie shook her head in disagreement, "No, no, I'll get them but it's only 9:30 why are you going to bed this early." She didn't even give Meredith time to answer before she commented, "Ooooh, I get it. Just try to keep it down this time."

"Izzie, I really think you over exaggerate on how loud we are." Meredith said with an eyebrow raised in disbelief.

Scoffing, Izzie replied, "Oh really, then how come George bought these for your bed." She walked over to the foyer closet and grabbed something out of a plastic bag and tossed them to Derek.

He looked down on them and read the print on the packaging, "Bed Pads So You Don't Wake the Neighbors!" There was a little cartoon at the bottom with two people under the covers and the little marks that indicated movement around the bed.

"Where the hell did George get these?" Derek asked in awe.

"I _really_ don't want to know." Izzie replied. "But, could you do us a favor and please use them." Izzie stacked the dirty plates and glasses on top of each other and retreated into the kitchen.

After staring at Izzie for a bit even after she went in the kitchen, Meredith turned to Derek and said, "Come on, let's go." Taking his hand in hers she led him up the stairs.

While Meredith was getting ready for bed in the bathroom, Derek began putting on the pads on back of the bed posts. When Meredith exited out of the bathroom and saw Derek doing this, she looked at him incredulously, "You're actually putting them on?"

Continuing to put on the pads without turning around to look at her, he replied, "Hey, at least this way they can't complain about it anymore."

Walking over to the other side of the bed, Meredith laid down beside Derek as he finished putting the pads on and got situated next to Meredith by lying on his side looking at her. She scooted closer to him and began kissing him. At first, the kisses were soft but they soon intensified. Before things got any further, he stopped her. "What's wrong?" She asked with concern in his voice.

"My mother called me today." He said monotonously.

Raising both of her eyebrows, she questioned back, "And you pick now of all times to tell me this?"

Derek merely shrugged, "Well, it made me realize that I have to tell her soon and I didn't want to tell her before I consulted you about it. I mean she hasn't met you and when I tell her this she'll probably be on the red eye first thing."

Rolling on her back, Meredith stared at the ceiling and sighed, "I don't know. I've never had to do anything like this. And, there's no point in telling my mother because she won't understand it coming from me and then she probably won't care anyway."

Still on his side, he looked at her, "Are you prepared to meet my mother?"

She rolled back over to face him, "Do I have a choice? I mean it's inevitable."

"Yeah…I just want to make sure you're ready." He said as he brushed some stray hair away from her eyes.

"Honestly, Derek, I don't think I'll _ever_ be ready. But, we might as well go on and face the music since the longer we wait it'll only get worse."

Derek had never really seen this side of Meredith before, she had always wanted to avoid confrontation but maybe since she found out she was pregnant she knew she needed to become more responsible.

"Well, how about I call her tomorrow?" Derek asked almost afraid it was too soon even though she had said she was essentially ready.

"She's your mother Derek and if you feel like you want to tell her tomorrow then I guess I'll have to be ready."

Derek nodded, "Alright." He knew that the next few days to a week would probably be the worst of his life even worse than when he got caught with his girlfriend in his bedroom during his senior year of high school.

Looking at him, Meredith began to grin slyly, "Now, where were we?"

He smirked and began kissing her again.


	11. On The Edge

Strumming his fingers on the arm of the sofa in the doctor's lounge, Derek stared at his cell phone screen with his mother's name scrawled across it, ready to be dialed. Sighing, he pressed the send button and put the phone to his ear. One ring, two, three, he was praying that his mother wouldn't pick up and it was about to seem that way when after the fourth ring her voice answered, "Hello?"

"Mom." He said hoarsely. Almost not sure if it was him, she questioned, "Derek?"

Clearing his throat he replied, "Yeah, it's me."

"Well, well, well, I know I said that you should call me more often but I didn't expect it so soon." She said rather cheerfully. Cringing, he knew that her chipper mood would soon change. Being the woman that she was and even though her relationship with her son had become distant, she knew that he wasn't calling her just to chat, "So, Derek, what do you have to tell me?"

He hated the way she knew when something was going on. Deciding that it would probably be better to drop the bomb rather than dancing around the subject, he took a deep breath and let the cat out of the bag, "Mom, I have something to tell you and I want you to let me finish before you say anything. Ok?"

She was thoroughly confused, "What is this about?'

He motioned with his hand as if she was really there, "You have to promise, Mom, that you won't say anything until I'm finished."

Derek could here the annoyance and irritation in her voice as she responded, "Alright, I promise. What is it?"

"Meredith is…Meredith and I are having a baby." He waited for what seemed like an eternity for her to say something.

"Let me get this straight, Derek. First, you move off to Seattle without a word. Then, you don't even come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. And, you go and divorce Addison for this intern and now you're having a child with her. Did I get all of that straight?"

"Yes." He breathed into the phone.

"Well, it's noon here so that means it's 9 am there. I'm going to call the airline and get the soonest flight out there. I think I should meet this girl that's going to be the mother of my grandchild." She said eerily calm.

"Ok, just call me when you get your flight time." With his heart pounding, he waited for her to confirm.

"Alright, see you then Derek." With that, she hung up.

Flipping his own phone shut, he leaned his head back and breathed out a long sigh. This was going to be a long day.

Walking down the hallway, he spotted Meredith at one of the nurses' stations filling out charts. He approached the station and leaned against the counter waiting for her to acknowledge his presence. It didn't take long for her to realize that someone was standing in front of her, "Derek, I thought you had a surgery at 10?" She glanced up at the clock on the wall in front of her.

"I do but I talked to my mother." He was still apprehensive about his mother finding out earlier and how she would get along with Meredith.

She let out a deep breath and looked back down at the chart she was working on, "And?"

Derek folded his hands together and said, "She's getting the first flight out from New York."

Looking back up from her chart in surprise, Meredith questioned, "Already? I figured we'd at least have a couple of days." She was suddenly regretting saying that she was prepared to meet his mother.

"Well, that's my mother for you."

So, if she wasn't already dreading this, she was now. Meredith had been at least expecting some preparation time and now his mother was probably taking off.

"I don't know what would be worse, having a mother like yours or if mine was lucid and having her telling me how I've ruined my life and never speak to me again." Derek was a bit taken back by this comment; he didn't really know how to reply to it. Sure, his mother could be overbearing sometimes – ok, overbearing was an understatement. But, he knew that his mother would eventually get used to the idea and he was positive once the baby came she would be the doting grandmother he was used to seeing. Derek almost couldn't fathom the scenario that Meredith described about her mother's would be reaction. He hated to say but maybe it was almost a blessing that Ellis Grey had Alzheimer's. Especially, since Meredith had enough stress on her as it was.

Deciding to change the subject, Derek looked back at the clock and said, "Well, I have to go into surgery. I figure we can take my mother out dinner tonight, to lighten the mood."

Merely nodding her head, Meredith went back to work and started filling out more forms on another patient's chart.

As the hours ticked by after he last spoke with Meredith, Derek had finished up his surgery and was going out to tell the patient's family that everything had gone as planned and the patient was in recovery. However, before he arrived in the waiting room, his cell phone vibrated. Looking at his watch, he figured it could be his mother getting into Seattle so answered it only to find another familiar female voice shouting through the line, "Derek! You got your slutty intern pregnant!?"

Making a mental note to himself to _never_ answer his cell phone again without checking the caller ID first, Derek groaned and answered, "So, I guess Mom told you, Nancy."

Completely ignoring his response, his sister questioned, "How far along is she!? Was she pregnant when I came out there and if so why didn't you tell me then!?"

The questions seemed to go on and on until Derek interrupted her, "Nancy! Yes, Meredith is pregnant. She's about ten weeks along and yes she was pregnant when you came out here if you haven't done the math already. Look, Nancy, as you probably know already, Mom's probably about to be here so I'm going to have to let you go. Bye." He hung the phone up and sighed. Sometimes, he really did hate having four sisters.

And no sooner than he got off the phone with his sister, the phone rang yet again. Making sure, he checked the caller ID; this time it revealed it was an actual a Shepherd woman he was prepared to hear from. Answering, he said, "Mom, have you arrived yet?" He heard the noise in the background of a lot of different muffled voices.

"Yes, Derek, I just arrived I'm waiting on my bags to come around this filthy trolley."

"I'm coming to pick you up just give me a few minutes."

'No, no, I'll just get a cab besides you have to work and I have to find a hotel and get settled in." Mrs. Shepherd insisted and was not going to have it any other way.

"Fine, but Meredith and I are going to pick you up when we get off work and go out to dinner."

"Why that would be lovely, Derek, eight o'clock?"

Even though she wasn't there Derek gave off a fake smile as he spoke, "Sure, Mom, see you then."

After finally getting off of the phone with his sister and mother, he thought he would have a little down time before any more stress came into his life. But, as things tended to go in his life, his pager went off. Seeing that it was a 911, he started jogging towards the emergency room.

Meanwhile in the back alleyway of the hospital, the five residents under the Nazi's command sat eating various snacks and studying for upcoming surgeries they were about to scrub in on. Well, sans Cristina since she was sort of on probation for the whole hand tremor situation. Instead she came barreling in and sat down beside Meredith and started complaining, "I can't believe that Bailey is making me dig through piles of shit. I am a surgeon! I am Cristina Yang!"

Glancing over to Cristina, Meredith decided to play the 'whose life is worse game', "At least you don't have Derek's mother arriving any minute ready to grill you and compare you to Addison."

"Shall I remind you how Burke's mother and I met, when I was half naked and on top of him while he was in the hospital?" Cristina folded her arms across her chest in victory.

"At least you weren't pregnant." Meredith replied thinking she now had the upper hand.

"Did you also forget about how my own mother found about my own pregnancy?" Cristina looked at Meredith in disbelief.

Their little argument was interrupted when Izzie interjected, "I think both of you should stop complaining. At least you don't have to have peer counselor Sydney and have to be a shadow. I'd rather dig through piles of crap any day."

"You brought that on yourself when you cut the LVAD wires!" Cristina snarkily said back.

"And like you didn't bring your 'shitty' situation on yourself by conspiring with Burke!" Izzie was pissed off. She couldn't believe that Cristina had the audacity to bring Denny up.

Rolling her eyes, Meredith yelled, "Stop it, the both of you. The two of you made mistakes; we've all made them and now's not the time to be blaming one another." Having enough stuff to deal with, she got up and left.

Managing to avoid Cristina and Izzie for the rest of the day, Meredith was both anxious and relieved when Derek met her in the waiting room. When he approached her, he smiled and sighed simultaneously, "You ready?"

Standing up, she put on her jacket and the two began to walk out of Seattle Grace. And, right before they exited the sliding glass doors, Derek reached over and took her hand in his. Instinctively, she wrapped her fingers around his; whatever his mother threw at her she knew that Derek would be there no matter what.

An hour and a half had passed since they left the hospital and Meredith was standing in front of the dresser in a knee length, black dress trying to put on her earrings. Just as she had placed the first one in, Derek came out shirtless and wiping his face for he had just shaved.

"What time is the dinner reservation?" She asked wanting to make sure that they weren't late to pick up his mother or miss the reservation because Meredith desperately didn't want to get off on the wrong foot with this woman.

Even though she was twenty seven years old, she had never met any of her prior boyfriend's parents. It's not that she hadn't had a serious relationship before it was just that meeting parents was definitely not her forte and she'd never ever let anyone meet her mother, even when she was lucid - especially when she was lucid. Not letting any of her boyfriends meet her mother was actually the end to a couple of those relationships. But, now was different. Derek not only knew about her mother and met her once he had helped put her in an Alzheimer's case study. So, now it was time for her to bite the bullet and meet his.

During this time, Derek had taken his perfectly ironed shirt off its hanger and put it on. Meredith had finished putting in her other earring as he was buttoning up his shirt and he finally replied to her question, "The reservation is at 8:30 and we're supposed to pick my mother up from hotel at 8:00."

Turning his collar up, he grabbed his tie and went over to the mirror where Meredith was and stood behind her to tie his tie. She was applying a last touch of blush. Meredith wanted to look perfect; well, as perfect as she could, considering everything.

After putting on his tie, he went over to the bed and grabbed his coat and put it around his shoulders and Meredith turned around to face him. He examined her and deduced that she was nothing less than beautiful but one thing in particular caught his eye. He noticed that there was a slight bump where her normally flat stomach was. If no one was looking for it, they surely wouldn't have noticed but he did. It left him in awe; it was the first tangible sign that she was really having his baby. Of course, if he told her that she would surely remind him of the countless morning, noon, and night bouts of morning sickness. But, this – this made it real.

Pulling her close by the hand, he kissed her and continued kissing her down the neck. She moaned in pleasure but quickly stopped it, "We're going to be late."

In between kisses, he responded, "I'm sure she won't mind if we're a little late."

Gently pushing him away, Meredith protested, "I want to make a good impression on your mother if I even can at this point."

Derek started to interject but she continued. "And the last thing I want to do is not only be late but look like I just had sex."

He just sighed and lied back on the bed and playfully said, "Well, I expect something when we get back."

She smiled and shrugged her shoulders, "Depends on how tonight goes."

Getting off of the bed, he opened the door to her bedroom and let her go first while he followed her down the stairs, "Then, I better be on my best behavior."

She teasingly swatted at him as they exited the house to leave to pick up his mother.


	12. Denial and Condescension

Sitting in the passenger side of Derek's sedan, Meredith fidgeted nervously. She didn't know where they were going; sure, she could have easily found out by asking Derek but a part of her almost didn't want to know because then she would know when they were close and that would probably make her more nervous. After they had been driving for about fifteen minutes, Derek turned into a hotel parking lot.

Looking up at the sign, Meredith deadpanned, "Your mother is staying in a Hilton."

Parking in a visitor's spot, Derek merely shrugged, "Mom always said she refused to stay anywhere that looked like it hadn't been updated since the 1970s."

He remembered the time his Dad had taken them on vacation in the backwoods of Vermont and stayed in a log cabin. Needless to say, his mother and sisters only stayed for about an hour before heading back home. But that just left more quality time between Derek and his Dad. That was one of the reasons why he bought the land in Seattle after his separation from Addison; he wanted to remember happier times.

As he turned off the engine, Derek quickly got of the car and went over to Meredith's door and opened it for her.

Grinning, she stated, "So, you're going to act all gentlemen like while we're with your mother. I see how it is."

Trying to act offended, Derek scoffed at her, "What? I can't do something nice for my girlfriend without having an ulterior motive?"

He closed the door as she exited and they started making their way to the lobby when Meredith replied, "Considering I'm about to meet your mother for the first time and it's just right after the fact you told her I'm pregnant and you just got divorced, yes tonight I think partially you have an ulterior motive."

He looked at her with intrigued, "Hmmm…perhaps but I know you're enjoying it."

Laughing, she acted coy, "If you say so, Derek."

As they arrived at the glass door to the hotel, Derek once again opened the door for Meredith but this time Meredith played along by gracefully thanking him. The pair made their way to the front desk where Derek asked for the concierge to call up to his mother's room when a female voice echoed, not too loud though this after all was the Hilton, through the lobby, "Derek!"

Both swerving around towards the voice, Meredith saw a woman in her early sixties making her way toward Derek with open arms. She had straight, light brown hair, something obviously Derek didn't inherit. Also, she had a sophisticated walk one that told you that back in her younger years she was probably a debutante.

Swallowing hard, Meredith knew that this was the moment of truth. Nervously, she tried to straighten her black dress even though it was ironed perfectly. After Derek and his mother had hugged, he turned around and introduced her, "Meredith this is my mother and Mom this is Meredith Grey."

Giving off her best fake smile to date, Meredith extended her hand and said, "It's nice to meet you. Derek's said so many great things about you."

Looking almost smugly, she took Meredith's hand and shook it, "Don't try to flatter me, dear. We all know that Derek hasn't said anything of the sort."

The fake smile quickly faded off her Meredith and she let go of the elder woman's hand and glanced at Derek awkwardly. Clearing his throat, Derek tried to dissolve the uncomfortable situation that his mother had created, "Oh Mom, you know I love you. So…if don't want to miss our reservations, we better get going."

Derek just paused and looked at the two women. There was Meredith who looked like she rather repeat her intern year all over again than be here. And then his mother was looking Meredith up and down to find all the flaws with her. So he decided to speak into the awkward situation again, "Uh, so, the car is this way."

He started to walk toward the lobby doors once again with Meredith on his left and his mother on his right. Opening the door yet again, Mrs. Shepherd wasted no time in going first through the door. Sighing, Meredith just looked at Derek and followed.

As the trio approached Derek's sedan, Mrs. Shepherd instantly questioned, "Is this your car?"

Groaning almost inaudibly, he replied, "Yes, Mom. It is."

Composing herself as Derek opened the backseat door for her, she commented again, "Well, it's quite…different from your car when you lived in New York. What was that again? A Mercedes was it?"

Going over to open the door for Meredith, he ignored his mother's question. He really hoped she didn't act like this for the entire duration of her stay or else he was going to lose it.

As he started up the car, his mother said, "I asked you a question, Derek." For the nth time tonight and probably not the last, Derek sighed, "Yes, it was a Mercedes."

Needless to say, it was going to be a long night.

When they arrived at the restaurant, they were immediately seated at a table in the middle of the restaurant. Looking to the hostess that lead them to the table, Mrs. Shepherd provided yet another criticism, "Well, I'm glad we're at a table where everyone and everything will be passing by us and interrupting our dinner every second."

The hostess just mumbled something inaudible and quickly walked away. Derek knew his mother was a bit pretentious but this was extreme.

As they waited for the waiter to arrive, Mrs. Shepherd began the interrogation, "So, Meredith, Derek didn't tell me how far a long you were."

Taking a sip of complimentary water, Meredith took in a deep breath, "I'm about eleven weeks along."

"And how old are you?"

Her heart rate began to increase at this point, "Um, twenty seven."

"And it never bothered you that Derek is more than ten years older than you?"

His mother was walking into dangerous territory so he interjected before Meredith had the chance to answer, "Don't answer that. Mom, you're being inappropriate."

Responding in an almost pompous tone of voice, she looked at her son, "I'm just trying to get an assessment of your relationship."

Luckily, for everyone, no one had the chance for a rebuttal when the waiter arrived to take their drink order.

The waiter spoke the rehearsed lines he had said over and over since his duration at the restaurant, "Can I interest anyone in our finest wine?"

Derek and Meredith politely declined because of obvious reasons for Meredith and Derek didn't want to taunt Meredith by drinking in front of her. Of course, the elder woman accepted by saying, "That would be lovely."

Once the waiter left, she started with the questions once again and at least trying to make them less inappropriate, "So, where did you go to college?"

"I went to Dartmouth." She replied.

"Oh, that's far from Seattle." Mrs. Shepherd commented.

She picked at her nails underneath the table, "Well, I used to live in Boston and before that, until I was about five, I lived here in Seattle and my Mom already had a house here that I could use."

"You mean she just gave you the house?" Derek's mother asked incredulously.

Shaking her head, Meredith responded, "No, my mother has Alzheimer's and I was going to sell it but I decided getting roommates would be easier."

"So, you mean that you and Derek live with two other people."

Derek took the chance to answer this one, "Yes, Mom. It's two of Meredith's coworkers and friends."

He corrected himself, "Our friends."

It was at this moment the waiter finally arrived with Mrs. Shepherd's wine and took the trio's orders. After he left, Derek's mother turned her attentions back to Meredith and Derek, "So, what are your plans for living arrangements once the child is born?"

"Well, there's a spare room next to Meredith and my room and we're going to turn that into a nursery." Derek replied. He felt like he was being interrogated by the FBI for treason or something. Like he had betrayed his mother by not being the same person he used to be in New York.

"I see." Mrs. Shepherd deadpanned. Sipping some of her wine, she asked, "Well, what are you planning to do with all that land you bought?"

He closed his eyes and sighed, he had enough of the questioning. It would be one thing if she was genuinely interested but she was asking these things to condescend his and Meredith's life. Sighing, he replied, "I don't know, Mom."

"Derek, you're about to have a child. You need to have things a little more planned out. Of course, this whole thing was an accident wasn't it? I mean you take off out here after Addison has a little tryst with Mark and this girl here seduces you it's only natural I suppose for you to stick by her after she probably intentionally got pregnant." Derek's mother stated in the most condescending voice one could imagine.

That was the last straw, at least for Derek anyway. Standing up from his chair, everything about him at that very moment emoted anger. He wasn't about to take this belittling of his life and of Meredith so he just glared at his mother, "You…you have no right to come out here and bad mouth Meredith and I."

Now, everyone at the restaurant was looking at them and Mrs. Shepherd said in almost a whisper, "Sit down. You're causing a scene."

Shaking his head in disbelief, he continued, "I don't care! You want me to fit into your picture perfect version of an ideal family where I'm not divorced and not having a child with my girlfriend. But, that's not the way things turned out. I love Meredith and you're just going to have to accept that whether you like it or not." Taking Meredith's palm in his, he threw some cash onto the table, "We're leaving. You can take a cab back to your hotel."

Needless to say, Meredith didn't argue with him; she had never seen Derek like this but she kind of liked it. For some reason, it made her really feel like he was in this relationship. So, she gripped his hand and followed him as he led her out of the restaurant.

As they were on their way back home, the couple sat in awkward silence for several minutes until Meredith decided to say something, "Derek -"

She was cut off by him, "I know you're going to say I was too harsh on her but I've never seen her act like this and I wasn't about to sit there and let her bad mouth you." He glanced over at Meredith for a second before setting his eyes back on the road.

"Actually, that's not what I was going to say. I was going to say thank you."

He raised an eyebrow, and questioned, "Thank you?"

Nodding, she continued, "Yes, I've never had anyone stand up for me like that and to tell you the truth I felt like you doing that really validated our relationship."

"You didn't think it was validated before now?" Derek asked with worry in his voice.

"That's not it, Derek." She sighed, "I know you love me and you're going to be with me but I guess that when you picked Addison it left me with this feeling that you might do that again." He started to interrupt but she held up a hand to indicate to let her finish, "But, what you did tonight made that feeling even smaller." She put her hand around his and he instantly gripped back and smiled.

Later that night, Izzie and George had already gone to bed and Derek and Meredith were just getting ready when the doorbell rang. Meredith, who was brushing her hair, looked at Derek who was reading a magazine on the bed, "Who the hell could that be?"

Derek just shrugged while Meredith went downstairs to answer the door. As she arrived down stairs she asked through the door, "Who is it?"

Normally, she wouldn't have bothered to ask but since it was almost midnight Meredith didn't know what kind of crazy person it could be. "It's Mrs. Shepherd."

She was reluctant to open the door; she definitely didn't want to face this woman again and Derek had just calmed downed, but she opened it anyway. The elder woman was standing with the perfect posture while clutching the strap of her purse. Meredith couldn't tell what emotion she was feeling. The two women just stared at each other in silence until Derek's mother spoke, "I'm here to see my son."

Meredith shook her head and made sure she wouldn't come barreling through the door by holding the door just in case she had to slam it shut, "I don't think that's a good idea."

Gripping her purse even tighter and lifting her head upwards slightly almost as if to show Meredith that she was better than her, she said, "Well, I don't think that's up to you."

Now, it was time for Meredith to defend Derek, "No, you've upset him enough and the last thing he needs right now is to see you again."

Glaring at Meredith, she coldly replied, "Well, tell him I'm leaving in the morning."

She turned her back to Meredith and began to walk away when Meredith said, "I know you don't like me but everyone in your family seems to forget that Addison was the one who cheated on Derek first and it wasn't just some fling that he should have just forgiven her for. But, he went back to her anyway because that's just the man he is. I didn't even know Derek was married when I met him so don't try to say that I seduced him. And another thing, yes, we didn't plan on this pregnancy and we may not be all prepared yet but is anyone? We're doing the best we can and that's all we can do and if you don't like it then you don't have to be in our or your grandchild's life. I love Derek and I love this baby and that's all we need. So, you have a decision to make: accept the situation as it is or don't show up here ever again."

By this time, Meredith's heart was pounding through her chest and her eyes were wide as she was waiting to see if his mother would respond. But, all the woman did was stop in her tracks while she was saying this but once Meredith was finished Mrs. Shepherd just walked off. And Meredith definitely wasn't about to stop her and beg her to come back, so she gently closed the door and started making her way upstairs when she saw Derek sitting on the top step.

Slowing down a bit, Meredith finally made it to Derek and sat down beside him. He started, "You're brave, you know. Not many people can say they've stood up to her."

Leaning her head on his shoulder, she said, "I did what I had to do."

They just sat like that in silence for a few moments until Izzie popped her head out of her room, "What the hell is going on?"

They both looked at Izzie while Meredith said, "I just told off Derek's Mom."

Izzie just stared at them sleepily and shrugged, "Oh, that's nice." And, she went back into her room and closed the door.

Standing up, Derek offered Meredith his hand, "So, you know…you did promise me some fun tonight." He grinned slyly.

Looking at him in disbelief, she asked, "Seriously? After all of this?"

Still smiling, he responded, "What better way to lighten the mood?" He pulled her toward him and kissed her. She started giggling as they made their way back to their room.


	13. Just Another Day

Standing in front of her full length mirror, Meredith sighed. It seemed that she couldn't get her blue jeans buttoned or zipped. Her pregnant stomach had now grown to the size of a cantaloupe but she had gotten into these pants last week! Sure, they were tight last week but they at least went on. Now, they wouldn't even zip. Izzie had commented to her last week that she'd gladly go with Meredith to go maternity clothes shopping but she scoffed at the idea. It had to be too soon for that…right? Besides, she'd had seen a good bit of maternity clothing as an intern and well, it was down right hideous. But what could she do? She had already gone up a size in pants and if she went up another they would fit over her stomach but look like a circus tent everywhere else on her lower body.

"Meredith, come on! We're going to be late!" Izzie's voice rang from downstairs.

Groaning, Meredith decided to give up on the pants and threw on her scrubs. At least they had elastic in them. Swinging her bedroom door open with her purse on one arm, she trod down the stairs. Izzie and Derek were waiting impatiently for her. Well, it was mostly Izzie who acted impatient seeing how Derek did not want to mess with an overly hormonal Meredith. When she reached the bottom of the steps, Izzie raised on eyebrow, "You're already wearing your scrubs?"

They began walking out to Meredith's jeep, "I didn't have anything else clean."

Izzie didn't believe her for a second, "Uh huh, ok, or it's time to take me up on my offer to go get you some maternity clothes."

She lied yet again, "I seriously don't have any clean clothes, alright?"

Getting in the car, Izzie sat in the backseat while Derek drove and Meredith sat beside him. Usually, George was with them but his father was in the hospital and he had stayed over night. Buckling up, Izzie replied, "I know they say ignorance is bliss but I'm not sure how much bliss you'll be able to experience when you have _nothing_ to wear."

Even though Izzie had a good point, Meredith was not going to give in that easily, "Even if I do need maternity clothes, all of them are ugly."

Derek finally decided to enter this conversation, "I think you'll look cute."

She glanced over to him, "Seriously? I'm not about to wear some kind of denim jumper that has sunflowers all over it. I rather just wear scrubs everyday. And did you seriously just say cute?"

Starting the car, Derek drove onto the road and began their trip to the hospital. Izzie shook her head at how stubborn Meredith was being, "Well, you know that eventually even your scrubs aren't going to fit and you're going to have to get some maternity versions of those."

Looking at Izzie through the rearview mirror, she said, "Well, at least they'll be issued by the hospital and won't look hideous."

Sighing, Izzie rolled her eyes, "You're impossible!"

"I have to be if I'm going to get all huge and the last thing I want is to accentuate that by wearing something that makes me look like a Teletubby." Meredith said as a matter of fact.

Izzie, who was fed up with this, instructed, "Look, I know this chic place that sells maternity clothes for the modern woman and we're going after work no matter what."

Turning around to look Izzie in the eye, Meredith began, "First of all, how do you know about this place? Secondly, did you really just say maternity clothes for the modern woman?"

Folding her arms, Izzie replied nonchalantly, "I've worked the maternity ward a little more than you have and I've over heard conversations between expectant mothers. That's how I know. Secondly, yes, I did just say that."

Exasperated, Meredith sighed, "Fine, I'll go to this place just to get you off my back. That doesn't mean I'm going to buy anything though."

Smiling triumphantly, Izzie dropped the subject until later that evening. And by doing so, there were a few moments of silence in the car until Derek spoke up, "Meredith, I think you need to have your hearing checked. I mean you asked both of us if we really said something. I'm concerned." He said in a playful tone.

All she said to him were a mere two words, "Shut up."

For the past few weeks, Meredith had been playing hide and seek without the seek at the hospital. Her father had been there all the time since her…his other daughter had given birth prematurely. She didn't want to see him for the usual reasons but also now that she was showing she didn't want to have to get into an awkward situation and explain things. Her life was already complicated as it was. Besides, he already had a grandchild and if he didn't care about her enough to not contact her in over twenty years then why should she expect anything from him because she was having a baby.

Plus, if Susan found out, she'd bring up how her baby needed grandparents and they should get to know each other so Thatcher wouldn't miss out on another child growing up. However, Meredith wasn't too keen on suddenly becoming one big happy family with people she hardly knew. Her friends were her family now. Maybe in a world where the sky was purple she'd really consider it.

Anyways, Meredith and the other interns were making their rounds with Bailey when the arrived in the NICU where, of course, _the_ baby was. Sure that fate hated her, Bailey selected Meredith to give the patient information, "Grey. Start."

Meredith was a doctor so she knew how to objectify things so she figured if she could just say these few things that they'd move on and she would continue to avoid her whole family situation yet again. However, fate did really seem to hate her and she heard a familiar male voice bumbling something about if it was ok to enter and that his daughter and wife were sick with the flu. It was her father. She stopped mid sentence and quickly looked at him and then to the floor. Luckily, she was behind the incubator so he couldn't see that she was pregnant. Irritated, Bailey rasped, "Grey."

Still, she didn't say anything. So, Cristina quickly stepped in and finished what Meredith had begun to describe. Once she was finished, the group left the baby and went to another patient.

She had managed to make it to lunch without running into her father again. They were all eating outside when Alex commented, "What was with you this morning? You just choked up."

Izzie answered for Meredith, "That was her Dad who she hasn't had a relationship with since she was five."

In between bites of her meal, Meredith said, "Just air out all my dirty laundry, why don't you?"

Looking at her in disbelief, Cristina scoffed, "You're kidding right? This is Seattle Grace. Everyone already knows your dirty laundry."

George, who had the day off since his father was having surgery soon, walked up and sat down. His dad made him get out from his room and relax a little. So, he came where he knew everyone would be at this time, "Have you guys ever thought about how Seattle Grace is like General Hospital. I mean with all the stuff that goes on here. Maybe in some alternate universe we're all characters in a TV show."

"You must be the village idiot then." Alex commented snarkily.

"You really have too much time on your hands, George." Cristina said not caring in the least bit.

"Why don't you just talk to your dad, Meredith? At least then you would have to go about hiding every time you see him." Izzie questioned.

"Oh, this coming from the woman who wouldn't call her mother for a cooking recipe." Meredith bit back.

"Hey, I eventually called her and it helped clear things up between us. Maybe it'd do you good if you talked to your dad."

"I have nothing to say to him. He might as well be a stranger and if he found out I was pregnant that would only complicate things more."

"How so?" Izzie inquired.

"Because I don't want my kid to have a grandfather who sends them a birthday card for the first few years of its life and sees it only twice then never hear from him again and then one day we go to the park and there he is with his other grandchildren acting like the doting grandfather." Meredith said obviously scorned from past experiences.

"Anyways," Meredith said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore." No one said anything about it after that. If Meredith was moody before she was pregnant, she was ten times as worse now.

Finally, their shifts at the hospital had ended and as promised Meredith let Izzie take her to this 'chic' maternity shop. Upon entering the shop, Izzie wasted no time and started picking out various clothes for Meredith to try on. Meredith had to admit that, from what she could tell, this place wasn't so bad. She idly followed Izzie through the shop when Izzie suddenly thrust a black top and some blue jean maternity pants at her.

"Here, try these on. The black top will make you look smaller." Izzie said as she pushed Meredith into one of the dressing rooms.

Meredith sighed and began to change; she hated trying on clothes. She had remained pretty much the same size since college and if something didn't fit she'd just take it back. And being an intern, she didn't have that much time to go shopping anyway.

It only took her a few minutes to get dressed and Izzie said, "Let me see!"

Slowly, she opened the door and Izzie gushed, "See! It's not ugly! And the shirt is a little long so you wouldn't even be able to tell they're maternity pants if you weren't pregnant!"

Looking in the full length mirror on the back of the dressing room door, Meredith had to admit that the outfit didn't look that bad of course she wasn't going to admit it without a fight, "Yeah, it's alright." She said.

Izzie grinned, "Yay! I told you. Now, let's find some more!" Izzie said as she left Meredith to change back into her scrubs.

Finally arriving home around 9 o'clock, the two women found Derek alone in the house watching some boating competition on ESPN and reading a book. Looking from the couch as they entered the door, he asked, "Find anything?"

Izzie held up a multitude of bags and pointed to the bags in Meredith's hand to answer his question.

Talking specifically to Meredith, he said, "I thought you said all maternity clothes were ugly."

She groaned in defeat, "Well, I guess this place was really, to quote Izzie, 'chic'."

He smiled at her slyly, "Does this mean I get a modeling show?"

"Hell no." Meredith replied sternly. "After all of the outfits I've tried on today I don't want to put on another piece of clothing again."

Derek's eyes lit up with excitement, "Now, that's an even better idea."

Izzie rolled her eyes in response to this, "You do realize that your kid is probably going to be scarred for life with all of the sexual innuendos you two pass at each other."

"You're just jealous." Meredith commented with the first light hearted sentence she had said all night.

Izzie just scoffed back, "Whatever." And left the two alone.

Walking over to the couch, Meredith sat down beside him. Picking up the book, she asked, "What are you reading?"

Looking at the front cover, she placed the book back on his lap and looked at him, "A book of baby names?"

Derek shrugged, "I figure we should get a head start so our child won't be nameless until it's six months old."

Meredith joked, "I thought you were set on the name Octavius."

Rubbing his chin, he played along, "Well, Octavius is losing it's allure so I decided to consult this book."

Becoming serious, he asked her, "Do you have any names that you like?"

Meredith shook her head, "No, I haven't really thought about."

His eyes widened in surprise, "I thought all girls had their kids names picked out by the time they were eight."

Meredith stretched, "Would you believe that I wasn't too fond of playing house as a child?"

Derek just nodded.

She continued, "Anyways, I think we should wait to choose a name until we find out the sex of the baby."

"You don't want to be surprised?" He questioned.

"Of course, I just want to be surprised next week at the doctor's office. Why do you want to wait?"

He shook his head, "No, I just didn't know what you wanted since we've never discussed if we were going to find out or not before hand."

"Well, considering that everything else about this pregnancy has been a surprise I think it'll be good that we know. We can buy stuff and decide on a name and etc."

Picking the book back up, Derek said, "I guess it can't hurt to browse around until then."

He was flipping through the girls' side of the book when he pointed to a name, "I have it!"

She looked down at where he was pointing at, "Petunia? Sure, if you want our child to hate us for the rest of its life."

He mocked being hurt, "Are you saying that you don't like my choices in names."

"Yep. If I left it up to you our kid would have some kind of weird ass name that celebrities give kids, like Apple or something."

Still joking, he responded, "I thought Apple was a lovely name that Gwyneth Paltrow picked out!"

Rolling her eyes, she snatched book from his hands and they continued searching for baby names.


	14. Bright and Shiny, For Now

Ever since Meredith had gotten Derek wax earplugs, so he wouldn't complain about her snoring again, he never heard the alarm clock anymore. So, for the past week it had become ritual for Meredith to wake up first and then after several minutes of pushing and shoving, Derek would finally wake up. But today was different; the first time Meredith pushed him he instantly got up. The reason was that today they would find out the sex of their baby.

Meredith looked at him oddly, "I can't believe you got up on the first push."

Derek grinned, "I'm excited. Aren't you?" He questioned.

She laughed at him with one of those laughs that you do when you think someone is acting crazy, "Yes, but I'm not acting insane like you."

"Hey, I can't help it. I mean we're going to know if we're having a little boy or girl. It gives the baby a real personality and you really start thinking of how it's going to look and act like. And we can finally start getting the nursery ready." He said with almost a childish glee.

Meredith just smiled at him as she went to take a shower. Indeed, she was excited but that excitement was held back because today they would find out the results of the amnio they had gotten at their last visit to the OB/GYN. Since they were both doctors, Derek and Meredith had decided that having this test would not only be beneficial for them but also to Meredith's obstetrician in case something was wrong. They could assess and figure out a treatment course. But that's what scared Meredith; she had finally come to terms with becoming a mother, well as much as she could be at this point, but it sort of hit her when her doctor asked if they wanted an amnio or not. She had been so concerned in the early part of her pregnancy about how she would be a mother that she hadn't really thought about the actual baby and if it was healthy. Also, Meredith hadn't thought about the test until a few days ago and she started to obsess about what could be wrong with her baby such as Down's syndrome and any other myriad of diseases and conditions. Sure, her and Derek were both healthy and there wasn't any concerning medical history on either side of their families that would effect the baby. The only things were that her mother had Alzheimer's and Derek's dad had died of a heart attack. Of course, she didn't know anything about her own father's medical history but he seemed all right and his other kids didn't have any horrible defects.

And for the first time in several weeks, doubt filled her thoughts about becoming a mother. It was an awful thing to think but what if something was wrong and she couldn't love it as much as she should? Meredith obviously underestimated the love a mother could have for her own child.

* * *

When Meredith and Derek were finally called back into the doctor's office, Meredith's doctor greeted them with a warm smile, "Meredith, Derek." She nodded in their direction as she led them in and she too her seat at her desk while they sat in the two chairs that were in front of the desk. Opening the chart in front of her, Dr. Gallagher looked down at the results, "So, we have the results of the amnio we did last visit."

Meredith fidgeted in her seat. This was it. It would define how her child's life would begin and set the course for the rest of its life, at least in the genetic sense. "Well, it seems that your baby has no apparent defects."

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Meredith felt Derek's hand squeeze hers. Her baby was healthy and was going to lead a normal life.

"Well, if you don't have any questions, we'll move into the examination room and take a peek in there."

With such a huge burden lifted off of her shoulders, a huge grin appeared on Meredith's face. Derek looked at her in wonder and laughed, "Why are you so happy all of a sudden?"

She merely shrugged, "I guess your insane excitement is contagious."

After changing into a gown, Meredith got on the table and the doctor started the ultrasound machine. Derek sat beside Meredith and placed a kiss on her hand. The doctor then began waving the wand around Meredith's growing abdomen. Taking the time to be funny, Derek commented, "So, how many are in there? Four?"

Meredith sent a stabbing glare in his direction while the doctor chuckled, "No, he's the only one in there."

They both glanced at each other then back at the doctor when Meredith questioned, "He?"

The smile quickly faded from the doctor's face and she started to flip furiously through Meredith's chart. "I could have sworn that it was noted in your chart that you wanted to know the sex of the baby."

Meredith calmed the doctor, "We did want to know."

While Derek had agreed that he wanted to know the sex as well, he didn't know there had been a note made, "There was a note made on her chart?"

As the doctor breathed a sigh of relief, she responded, "Yes, right after you left last time, I approached Meredith before she left and asked. I had forgotten to ask earlier at the appointment."

Once Derek processed this, he questioned, "He? Are you sure?"

The smile appeared yet again on the doctor's face, "Yep." She moved the wand around and pointed to the screen, "There's all the plumbing right there."

"A boy." Meredith said aloud since the word he was only used. She looked at Derek and she could see the glimmer in his eyes. She already knew that he was thinking up all of the things they could do together. He would take his son camping and fishing.

The doctor printed out a picture of the baby's profile and one that showed the genitalia and handed them to Derek while she proceeded to wipe the gel off of Meredith's abdomen, "Everything looks good and is on developmental schedule. You can get dressed now Meredith."

Once Meredith had gotten dressed, she went to the front desk to make another appointment and then left hand in hand with Derek. Since her doctor was located in Seattle Grace, Derek knew they'd probably be bombarded by her friends asking how her appointment went. And sure enough, they soon came across the interns who were finishing up their rounds and being assigned to the various attendings. So, the entire gang of interns and attendings were in the same place at the same time. And of course, Izzie was the first one to notice Meredith and Derek. "Ooh! How'd your appointment go? What were the results of the amnio?" She said this all in one breath.

Not being able to contain their smiles, Meredith still tried to play coy, "Oh, you know, we got the amnio results and he's fine and growing on schedule."

Izzie began to squeal how great it was that the baby was healthy but stopped mid sentence, "Wait, he? As in he-he as in like a baby with a penis?"

Meredith giggled and Derek just smiled, "Yes, as in a baby with a penis." Meredith said as she took the sonogram pictures from Derek and showed Izzie.

This caused the other interns to come over. They were all huddled around Meredith and the ultrasound pictures. Cristina, not the one to get overjoyed about these sorts of things, commented snarkily, "Just what you need, Meredith - another man in your life."

Alex replied to Cristina's comment, "We have enough vaginas around here. Plus, it validates Shepherd as a man."

Izzie groaned in disgust at the audacity of Alex, "So, I guess that means you aren't a man if that's what it takes to be a real man." Alex just glared at her.

Meanwhile, Derek had walked over to where Burke, Addison, Mark and Bailey were all standing. "I hear congratulations are in order." Burke said.

Derek just smiled and nodded, "Yeah, it's a boy."

Addison smiled slightly and went over to Derek and gave him a quick hug, "Congratulations, Derek."

Derek was a bit taken back by this but he responded to the hug. Bailey just snorted and shook her head, "Men, they take an extra 10 more energy when you carry them and they keep sucking the life out of you for the rest of your life."

"Are you saying your own kid sucks the life out of you?" Mark commented ignorantly.

Bailey just gave him one of her infamous glares, "Tucker may wake up at all hours of the night and change his preferences in baby food in less than twenty four hours but that doesn't hold a candle to the life men like you suck out of people." She motioned at Mark with her hand.

Derek laughed at Bailey's comment, "Hey, I can vouch that Dr. Bailey. He's like a vampire that just sucks the life out of everyone he comes in contact with."

Getting tired of everyone giving him a rough time, Mark said, "I'm not going to stand for this." And he walked over to the interns and barked out, "Karev, you're with me today." He wasted no time and started heading to a patient's room. Alex rolled his eyes and followed Mark while Izzie groaned and handed Meredith back the sonogram pictures and took off after Alex.

Bailey decided it was also time for everyone to get back to work. "O'Malley, you're with Burke and Yang, you're with Dr. Montgomery."

As everyone went their separate ways, Meredith and Derek came back together and began to leave the hospital. "So, what was that hug about that Addison gave you?"

There was a hint of jealousy in Meredith's voice. He shrugged his shoulders, "I have no idea. I definitely was not expecting it that's for sure. I mean all of this was the final catalyst that ended our marriage." He could see that Meredith had gotten a little tense when he started to talk about his marriage to Addison, "But, I wouldn't exchange all of this for the world." He smiled at her and she gave him a slight smirk as they made their way to the car.

"Oh My God, Meredith come here!" Derek exclaimed. They were in a baby store. Meredith was looking at some blue onesies when she heard Derek from another part of the store. Following his voice she found him in the furniture department, specifically around the cribs. He was standing in front of one particular crib. At first, she didn't see what the big deal was. It was a cedar crib that was finished in a smooth, glaze coat. But after looking at the bedding, she realized why he was making such a big deal about a crib.

"Ferry boat bedding?" She laughed as she said this.

"We have to get it, Mer! It's perfect."

She looked at it more intently this time. It was rather cute with little ferry boats on a light blue fabric. And it had one of those little mobiles that hung over the crib and the items that dangled from it were little ferry boats. She looked at Derek and could see how excited he was over this so she agreed, "Alright, we can get it."

She watched as Derek happily went over to a sales person to tell them they wanted the crib. As the sales person went to get someone to bring an unassembled crib from the back, Derek started to look around at some other things in the store. He began to thumb through the various toys and blankets. For the first time in a long time, Derek was really happy. He and Meredith were finally together and he was having a son. At least now, Nancy couldn't say he was always surrounded by women.

He couldn't wait to meet his son; he was even ready for the late night feedings and changings. Derek and Meredith would have this little life in their hands and they'd be able to shape its future. He never expected to be living in Seattle and having a baby with his intern girlfriend. But, this change was the best that had ever happened to him.

Derek was taken from his thoughts when the crib and bedding had arrived to the front of the store ready to be checked out. He met up with Meredith and paid for the crib with his debit card and Derek decided to be macho and carry everything out of the car by himself. Meredith just laughed and rolled her eyes; she definitely knew that when he tried to put this thing together was going to be an event. But that was going to be for another day. Today, she and Derek were just going to be happy.


	15. Prelude

"Son of a bitch!" The only male voice in the house exclaimed. After George's Dad had died, he and Callie had gone on vacation somewhere. The girls didn't know where all George had said in his quick phone call that he was taking sometime off. They just figured he needed some time to cope about the loss of his dad. Meanwhile, at 10:03 am on a Sunday morning, Derek Shepherd was trying to put together his unborn son's crib.

Of course, trying was the definitive word. It was one of those rare days that both Meredith and Derek had off without having to ask for it. As most people would do, Meredith took the opportunity to catch up some much needed sleep however, Derek decided he'd face the day head on. Along with some more cursing, he exclaimed yet again, "The number three bolt!? There is no number three bolt!? Agh!" Derek had become so loud that he finally awoke Meredith from her slumber.

Opening her eyes slowly, she focused in on the clock on the night stand. It was 10:13 now. Groaning, she threw the sheets off of her and went to go find what all the fuss was about. Her first instinct was to go downstairs but the sounds were too close to be coming from down there. So, she made her way through the hallway until she arrived at the room that would become the nursery. Her eyes widened at the site she beheld. The room had been cleared of all of her mother's things and Derek was now attempting to put together the crib they had bought only a week earlier.

"What the hell are you doing?" She questioned.

"I'm trying to put this damn thing together." He said while trying to screw some pieces together.

She sat down beside him and picked up the assembling instructions and glanced at them before commenting, "Oh, so now it's that damn thing when last week you were raving about how perfect it was." She teased him.

Sighing, he took the instructions from Meredith and compared them to what he had screwed together. It still didn't look right. "No, the bedding is perfect it's this that's evil." He motioned at the unassembled crib.

She looked around at the empty room, "What did you do with all of my Mom's things that were in here?"

He ran his fingers through his hair while concentrating on the instructions in front of him, "I moved them to the attic."

She looked at him curiously, "And you did all of this when?"

Throwing the instructions down on the floor, he lied down on his back, "I got up around seven and since everything was already packed up in boxes it didn't take that long."

"I'm surprised I didn't hear you before now." She said.

"Well, I'm surprised that you heard me when you did over your snoring."

Meredith glared at him, "You can't complain anymore I got you those wax earplugs."

He laughed, "True but just because you can't hear the sound doesn't mean it's not there. Sort of like the tree in the forest."

Leaning back to lie on the floor next to him, Meredith turned on her side and placed her hand on his chest, "Don't think for a minute that you're going to be able to use those earplugs to get out of waking up in the middle of the night to tend to the baby."

"You don't have to worry about that. Although you probably should be concerned that your snoring is keeping Adam awake in there." He said the name in hesitation.

Recently, Derek had been concentrating heavily on the baby name book since they found out they were having a boy. He had went through and circled some of the names he liked and Adam was the first one to pop into his head, probably because it was first on the list of his favorite names.

Propping herself up on her elbow, she raised an eyebrow, "Adam?"

Derek shrugged, "I was just trying it out. Why? You don't like it?"

She groaned a little, "Eh, not really, it reminds me of Adam Sandler."

"The comedian? What's that got to do with naming our son?" He questioned.

"Everything, I don't want to be reminded of Adam Sandler every time I say our baby's name." Meredith justified.

Looking at her in disbelief, he replied, "Somehow, I think that the last thing you'll be thinking about when he comes is Adam Sandler."

Lying back down beside him, she said, "Probably, but I still don't like the name."

He put his arm around her and they both stared up at the ceiling, "What name do you like then?"

She shrugged, "I don't know but definitely not Adam."

"So, I guess we can mark Adam off the list. That only leaves the rest of the list of boys' names." He replied sarcastically.

"Don't be a smart ass. I'm definitely not going to go the celebrity route and name my kid Rainbow or something."

In a joking tone of voice, he exclaimed, "Seriously? You don't like Rainbow? I think it has a nice ring to it, Rainbow Shepherd. And, it definitely won't get him made fun of when he goes to school."

Playfully punching him, she replied, "Oh, shut up!" In response, he kissed her. Things were going better than they had in a long while for the two.

* * *

While things were going great for Meredith, things were about to take a turn for the worse. It was the next day and Meredith was trekking down the halls of her mother's nursing home early in the morning. She saw one of the nurses outside of her mother's room. Something was wrong or at least that's the feeling Meredith got when the nurses called her that morning. They didn't say that anything was wrong just that she needed to get down here immediately. A myriad of things went through her head as she proceeded to get closer to the nurse – she had a fight with one of the nurses and they were going to kick her out or she was threatening to kill herself. Or maybe she was dead. When she finally reached the nurse, Meredith saw that she had a confused expression on her face. Looking into the small window, Meredith watched as her mother paced around the room; it was nothing unusual.

Then, the nurse dropped the bomb, "She woke up this morning completely aware. She's her old self. It happens. Medically we don't know why. It's just a random gift."

"She's lucid? She remembers?" Meredith asked in awe.

The nurse nodded, "Pretty much everything except the last five years and of course she doesn't realize she has Alzheimer's. We _thought_ she should hear it from you."

She couldn't believe this, "She'll know me? I'm going to walk in there and she'll know who I am?"

All Meredith could manage was to ask questions. Something like this was rare and she definitely didn't expect it to happen to her mother.

The nurse looked at Meredith with an all knowing expression, "She's been asking for you."

Finally, Meredith had the time to try to digest all this. Her mother was lucid and wanted to see her. After a few moments, the nurse left Meredith alone while she stared at her mother. Undoubtedly, Ellis Grey knew she was standing there but Meredith wasn't ready to face her yet. Usually, in circumstances like this, the child's first thoughts is how to tell their parent they have Alzheimer's but in Meredith's case her first thoughts were how was her mother going to react that she was unmarried, pregnant and an intern. Turning her back to the window, Meredith leaned against the wall and sighed. She knew she couldn't stay out here much longer. Meredith was now in her twenty first week of her pregnancy just a little over halfway through and she could no longer hide that she was pregnant anymore even with the looser maternity clothes. Luckily, she had worn her black coat today and the color black did minimize her ever expanding stomach. Maybe her mother would be so upset about what was going on she really wouldn't notice.

Meredith thought that was probably a bad thing to think about but she didn't even know how she was going to mention it when her mother wasn't lucid but now she had no idea what to do. She just figured that eventually she would have told her mother that she was pregnant and that she was going to be a grandmother. Of course, she probably would have either ignored Meredith or told her to stop playing make believe and concentrate on her school work because her mother still thought she was five years old. At least Meredith was prepared for those responses. This was a whole other ballgame.

Taking a deep breath, she entered the room. She made sure her coat was buttoned up and she put her hands in her pockets and sort of held the jacket outward. She figured that it couldn't hurt. Walking over to the bed, she sat on the edge and looked up at her mother. She hadn't been this nervous since she got caught in her bedroom with her high school boyfriend and was waiting for her mother to come back up the stairs to yell at her after throwing him out.

But, now, thankfully her mother was looking her in the eye and seemed very distressed, "Meredith, what is going? When did you get back from Europe?" The elder Grey's words seemed to string together.

Keeping eye contact with her mother, Meredith tried to calmly tell her mother what was going on, "I went to Europe for two months…but that was-"

Her mother sat on the bed and Meredith's pulse raced. Ellis Grey continued, "I've been sitting here thinking about the fight we had. Things I said I-I said some terrible things."

She had indeed said some terrible things but that was five years ago and a lot had changed since then and right now it was the last thing that was important in this situation. Meredith tried to reassure her, "That's fine."

But Ellis wouldn't have any of it, "No, it's not. After you left I was upset…" She took several shallow breaths, "Did I have a breakdown? I must've had a nervous breakdown. I'm in a…Is this a hospital?" She motioned at her room.

Although she remained calmed on the outside Meredith was freaking out inwardly, it was now time to drop the bomb to her mother about her having Alzheimer's. Her mother was still ranting, "Because I can't remember anything about the last two months, Meredith. The last thing I remember is the fight we had."

Her mother was freaking out; it was quite a sight to behold for she had never seen her mother act like this. "And listen to me, if you don't want to go to medical school that is fine. It is your life. Just-Just take me home."

Ellis Grey was pleading with her daughter and that's when Meredith knew it was now or never, "I went to medical school."

Interrupting yet again, her mom still pleaded, "I want to go home. I need to go home." She looked into Meredith's eyes for an answer.

Taking a small pause, she dived right in, "You are home. I went to Europe five years ago. You got sick."

Ellis' face became paled and horrified. "You have Alzheimer's. This is your home. You live here now."

Meredith put as gently as she could but her mother started to breakdown. At first, Dr. Grey couldn't speak but then she managed out a soft no before exclaiming no in utter horror. That must have pushed her over the edge because she began to shake and began to fall to the floor. Immediately, Meredith rushed to her side and called out for someone to call 911.


	16. Opening Old Wounds

When her mother was taken to the hospital and given various tests, Meredith made a note to always stand behind her mother or behind some counter. Sure, it was probably shallow of her to be thinking about hiding her pregnancy at a time like this but the situation was complicated, to say the least.

After her mother was brought to her room, Meredith quickly gave some excuse about having to fill out paper work to get out of there. It was all too much for her. So, she escaped to outside the hospital where the new clinic had been built.

Meredith had been outside for about thirty minutes when Cristina approached her, "Hey, Mer, Burke has me on your Mom. Are you OK?" She asked genuinely concerned.

"I'm avoiding her. I'm avoiding the gift. Plus, I have no idea how to tell her I'm pregnant."

Cristina glanced down at Meredith's stomach and raised an eyebrow, "How could she not know?"

"Well I was hiding it behind my coat and plus she was so freaked out about what was going on I guess she didn't notice. Also, I stood behind counters and things when she was getting her tests done."

Cristina just rolled her eyes, "Yeah, well, your gift wants to meet Derek."

Her eyes widened in shock, "What? What did you say?"

Cristina began adamantly denying this, "No, no, not Derek your boyfriend. Dr. Shepherd the neurosurgeon." At this, she seemed slightly relieved but Cristina was quick to remind her, "Besides, she's going to find out anyway. She has ways. I'm kind in love with her, by the way."

Meredith didn't seem impressed, "She has that affect on people who aren't her daughter."

At this time, Izzie came out with a patient she had stolen from the ER, "Hey, I heard about your mother! That's unbelievable."

Nodding in agreement with a fake smile, like a child who just a Christmas present they hated but was forced to be polite by their parents, "Yeah, it's a gift."

Cristina was quick to step in, "She's a avoiding her."

This caused Izzie to get a condescending tone in her voice, "Mer, this is your mother and she's really here."

"This is your chance you should talk to her." Cristina added.

Then to add more emphasis, Izzie said, "You should spend some time with her."

Meredith sighed.

They just didn't understand how awful her mother could be, "She has a _very_ long history of being disappointed in me."

Izzie shook her head in disbelief, "You're a doctor now. Parental disappointment ends with a medical degree."

Cristina nodded her head in agreement.

Changing the subject, Izzie questioned aloud if Callie was pregnant or not and that George had all the crazy this week. She left leaving a confused Meredith to look to Cristina for answers.

Cristina laughed, "Oh yeah, Bambi got married."

And with that Meredith was left alone yet again with no idea about the drama that was about to occur.

It was after she went to congratulate George when things got really intense with her mother. Meredith was sitting with her knees propped up against her chest, well as close to her chest as she could get them.

Ellis was the first one to start off the conversation, "So, tell me about yourself."

Meredith didn't quite know what to say and all she could muster was, "Well…"

Did she start out telling her she was pregnant or ease into by talking about some miniscule things first? No matter how much she tried she just couldn't muster anything up to say.

So, her mother stated, "I want to know what your life is like. I really do want to know you Meredith."

For the first time in her life, Meredith felt like her mother was really concerned about how she felt and how she was doing. Maybe it was the fact that she knew that she only had a short amount of time left. So, Meredith took a leap of faith and decided to open up, "Well, I have a boyfriend."

Instantly, her mother grilled her and Meredith expected it all to go down hill from here, "Does he understand the demands of your career because not all men do. They say they do upfront but then they-"

She cut her mother off, "He's great. He's a doctor too so he gets it."

Her mother nodded with her response, "Good."

Ok, so maybe it hadn't gone south. This is when she decided to her mother about her pregnancy, "Actually, Mom…"

Her mother cut her off. There seemed to be a lot of that today. "I know how demanding an internship can be and it seems that you haven't had the time to eat as healthy as you should have since it looks like you've gained some weight."

Ok, it was definitely time to tell her the truth, "Mom, I'm pregnant." There, she had said it.

Her mother's lips began to purse. Oh no, Meredith thought. The shit had really hit the fan this time. She tried to calm the situation by continually telling her mother that she was really happy. But, Ellis Grey wasn't having any of it, "What happened to you? The Meredith I knew was focused and passionate. Not some woman who falls in love and gets pregant by some man!"

Meredith was speechless as her mother continued, "You have your whole career in front of you. You don't need some child holding you back."

Now, Meredith was angry, "I'm sorry if you thought having me held you back from your career but from my end you didn't let me get in the way. You just ignored me. And I'll be damned if I do that with my son!"

Meredith quickly stormed out of the room.

After leaving the room, Meredith went to find Derek. Unfortunately, he didn't have much time to talk to her since was about to meet the Devil herself. Meredith was too upset to even go into detail with Derek about what happened so she gave him the basics on dealing with her mother, "She's charming. She's fabulous. Then, suddenly, she's the enemy."

He looked at her incredulously, "I'm meeting the enemy?"

Meredith glared at him, "Just don't get personal."

"You're being ridiculous." He said right before he entered her room.

She was trying her best to prevent any more drama, "I'm not being ridiculous!"

Assuming that his girlfriend was only doing this because her hormones were out of wack, he reassured her, "Ok, it's going to be fine."

Sighing, she said, "Just be careful. She has ways."

He gave her a thumb up as he went in. She rolled her eyes and walked off. If he wanted to be like then he was going to have to face the enemy with no help.

As he entered, he went over to her bed and introduced himself and sat down on the end of the bed. Not wasting anytime, Dr. Grey got right to the questioning, "What about a functional MRI while I'm lucid?"

Derek sighed. He knew whatever question she asked would only have a dismal answer, "A MRI isn't going to show us anything new. No test is going to help us understand what's going on."

She sighed in dismay, "So, in five years you've made no advances and there is nothing else you can do for me." She shook her head, "I don't know how you do it day in and day out work with people with this awful disease."

For some reason, a voice in the back of his mind was yelling to heed Meredith's warning about not getting personal but he felt that she deserved to know the truth, "Oh, I, you see." He fumbled with his words. She was right – this woman had ways. "Actually, I'm not an Alzheimer's specialist. I just took a special interest in this case…because of Meredith." He felt like he was ten years old again waiting to get a scolding from his own mother.

Meredith's mother got one of those angry looks on her face and she spat out, "You're what happened to her."

He tried to interrupt, "I'm sorry…"

But she continued, "I thought you were here for me. To offer me some hope. To tell me about some new treatment but you're here for her."

He tried yet again, "Dr. Grey…"

"An attending, a neurosurgeon, no wonder she's so unfocused."

He shook his head in disbelief, "I don't think you understand."

"Oh, I understand. I understand perfectly. I've seen men like you before, threatened by a woman who's their equal. You just want someone to admire you. And you don't care about the damage you do to her along the way." It was almost if she was talking from some kind of personal experience, "You probably seduced her with that alluring power of yours and got her pregnant so you'd always have someone to admire you. You got her pregnant to satisfy some craving of power. Well, I just want you to know that you've ruined her life."

Derek couldn't believe what he was hearing. This woman didn't even know him or anything about his relationship with Meredith and here she was accusing him of getting Meredith pregnant on purpose so he could feel like an alpha male. He wanted to say something to defend himself but no words came to him. She really was as awful as Meredith made her out to be. So, he did the only thing he could do – leave.

The first thing he did was set out to find Meredith. He could sense earlier that she had been on edge and after that meeting he was sure that her mother had something to upset her. He now became even angrier than he was before; the last thing Meredith needed was all this stress with her pregnancy. Derek couldn't believe the audacity of that woman. She didn't even have the decency to think of anyone but herself.

After searching the various on call rooms, the vending machines and the back hallway of the hospital, he finally found her sitting on one of the benches outside of Seattle Grace's lobby. She had her head down in her lap. He knew that she was crying. Quickly, he went to her side and sat down beside her, placing a soothing hand on her back, "I'm so sorry. I should have believed you when you said I'd be meeting the enemy."

Sniffing, she raised her head from her lap and looked at him with red, wet eyes, "No, I'm the stupid one for even telling her anything. I should have known better."

Cupping her face in his hands, he brought her eye to eye with him, "You are not stupid. You just hoped that for once she would see you as a person and accept what made you happy. But, she didn't and that's definitely not your fault. She's not a good person, Meredith. And I'm so sorry you had to grow up with that." Wrapping his arms around her, he felt her head lean against his chest and her tears wet his lab coat.

Pulling back from him, she looked at him with a sense of urgency, "Derek you have to promise me that we'll never treat our son like that."

His voice was genuine when he replied, "I promise. Our baby will have all the love in the world."

"And we'll be there for everything he does, right?."

Derek nodded, "Every game, play and event he's in even if he only has one line in a play or what not."

Damn that woman, he thought. Meredith had finally started to accept and really prepare for her role as a mother but now Ellis Grey had drudged up all of her past anxieties. It was no wonder that she was afraid as she was when she first found out she was pregnant. With having Ellis as a mother, Meredith really didn't know how a real mother was supposed to act around her child.

Quickly, her voice became even graver, "I can't do this alone." He knew what she meant. While Ellis had never been a kind and gentle woman, she was sure that Richard was going to leave his wife and that's why she told Thatcher to stay away. Richard was supposed to be the father figure in Meredith's life. But, promises were broken leaving Ellis to be the person she was before Alzheimer's and Meredith with relationship issues.

Taking her hands in his, he responded, "I'm not going anywhere. This is it for me."

She looked down at the ground in embarrassment, "I'm sorry I don't know why I'm acting like this."

"It's all right. Your emotions have been toyed with and it's going to take some time to get over those hurtful things your mother said to you."

He continued, "But, I'll be right here to help you through it all."

Derek gave her a weak but reassuring smile and knew that they still had a long journey ahead.

* * *

_**Author's Note: So, I changed the end scene yet again. It was just the dialogue that didn't sit well with me. Even though I finished this story ages ago, it's still important to me. With that said, I've always wanted to stay true to the characters and some of the things I had Meredith and Derek say to each just didn't feel like something they'd say. I'm no Shonda Rhimes, of course, so I know there will still be instances of things where maybe things don't sound exactly like them but I just want to do the best I can.  
**_


	17. The Day The World Stopped

A week, that's how long it had been since Ellis Grey became lucid and only hours later fell back into her haze. Usually, when her mother criticized her like she had, Meredith would usually retreat into her own world of self pity. While she wasn't bursting at the seams with high self-esteem, she knew that she had to try and not let her mother's words get to her or else it'd break her and quite possibly ruin her relationship with her child before he was even born.

For the first few days, Derek worried about Meredith's mental health. He thought for sure that her mother's comments would send her spiraling back into self-doubt about becoming a mother. However, he was genuinely surprised when she came home one night with the book entitled, 'Perfect Motherhood: Science and Childrearing in America.' He almost wanted to laugh but he saw how serious she was about it.

It seemed that her confrontation with her mother had caused her to become more driven to be a better mother than her own. Meredith would be damned if she treated her son like that.

One night, when Derek had gotten out of the shower, he entered the bedroom to find Meredith sitting Indian style on the bed while looking at a sheet of instructions. There were random parts of some contraption strew all over the bed. Drying his dark locks with a towel, Derek went over to the bed and picked up an empty box and half questioned, "A breast pump?"

Meredith nodded, "I've been doing some research the past couple of days on different websites to see which one is the best. I plan on breastfeeding him when he's born but I have to think realistically that I won't be able to when I go back to work. And I don't want him on formula. Besides, this way you can get up in the middle of the night and feed him some too."

Throwing his damp towel on a random chair, Derek cleared a space beside Meredith on the bed so he could sit down, "When did you decide that you were going to breastfeed?"

He put his arm around her and she leaned back against his chest, "Well, you know I've been reading this book and it was talking about the breastfeeding versus formula. It gave the pros and cons of both but ultimately I decided that breastfeeding had more pros since it allowed you to receive a greater bond with the baby plus in medical school they always taught that even though there are efficient formulas out there that breast is best. And, I want the best for him."

Looking up at him, she asked, "Why? Did you not want me to breastfeed?"

He quickly answered, "No, I just wanted whatever you felt most comfortable with whether that be breastfeeding or using formula."

Clearing her throat, she began, "Well, to be honest, I've always kind of thought the idea of having a baby hanging off you all the time was kind of daunting but I've been reading some testimonials of other women who said at first they thought the same thing but when their baby began to feed the first time it just became natural and an intense bond began to form between mother and child. And, I just want to be as close to him as I can be."

Putting his hand on her bulging abdomen, Derek began to rub her stomach in a circular pattern. Lifting up her t-shirt, he exposed her stomach and tilted his head while he placed it where his son rested. He began to talk to her stomach, "You know, Mommy and Daddy are excited for you to come but don't come too soon. We want you as healthy as possible. But, in the mean time, you can start kicking any time now. Mommy and Daddy want to feel how good of a soccer player you're going to be."

Laughing, Meredith responded, "You're so lame sometimes. Besides, what makes you think he'll play soccer?"

Derek just shrugged and sat up, "Nothing but I hoped it would help coax him into kicking."

Placing her own hand on her stomach, she replied, "If I'm remembering correctly from my OB classes from med school, a baby usually begins kicking anytime between now and the next few weeks."

"That reminds me…" Derek got up off of the bed and began rummaging through his brief case, "…I wanted to do something."

She raised an eyebrow and smiled coyly at him, "This isn't some kinky sex thing is it? Because I'm not as flexible as I used to be."

He continued to search in his bag, "No, this has nothing to do with sex but if you're up for something afterwards I'm game." He grinned devilishly.

Pulling out his stethoscope, Derek went back over the bed. "What are you doing with that?" She questioned.

"Just trust me." He placed the earpieces in her ears and placed the metal part on her abdomen. He remained silent for a few moments until he saw her face light up.

"Do you hear the heartbeat?" He questioned even though he knew the answer from her expression. She nodded as she continued to listen.

"I thought being able to hear his heartbeat whenever we wanted we could become even closer to him."

Even though she could have listened to her son's heartbeat all night, she took the earpieces out and placed them into Derek's ears and kissed him.

The next morning started out as usual. The only thing special that was supposed to happen that day was Meredith and her fellow interns were going through triage training and her mother was having heart surgery. Meredith was sure that if she was someone else's daughter that she should be taking time off and be the supportive daughter. But, she wasn't someone else's daughter; she was the offspring of Ellis Grey, who, while in her only lucid moments, called Meredith a failure at life. Now being bound and determined to become not only a successful mother but a successful doctor as well, she was going to prove that she could balance both.

During their triage training with Callie, Sydney, and Bailey, the interns were being timed on their responsiveness to the situation they were given. Of course nothing was good enough but what else was there to expect from their residents. When it was Alex's turn to be tested, Meredith noticed that Sydney seemed to fluff her hair. Did Sydney want a piece of Alex's cookie? Meredith laughed to herself; it definitely wouldn't be the first time something like that had happened. Hell, everyone in their group had hooked up at least once with another doctor. And most of them were in long term relationships.

As Alex was about to be timed on his triage knowledge, the Chief entered. They all turned to look him; he had a very serious look on his face…and his hair had been dyed. In the background, Meredith could hear Cristina scoff out some sarcastic comment but before any of the others could say anything, the Chief began, "There's an emergency situation. They need doctors out in the field."

In no time flat, Bailey and the group of interns began to rush around the Chief as he exited the clinic. There were questions coming from everyone about where, when, and what. Turning to face the group, he quieted everyone down. "Listen, I don't know what happened. All I know is that they need doctors and they need them now. There's already an ambulance waiting for you to take you there."

As he left, Bailey instructed them to put on their official jackets and to grab a triage bag and load into the ambulance.

During this time, Cristina tentatively approached Meredith, "I have news."

Raising an eyebrow, Meredith questioned, "You're not pregnant again are you? Because I don't think people could handle the bitchiness of us both."

Cristina was about to reply when Bailey, in her Nazi tone of voice, instructed them all to get a move on it and load up into the ambulance. As Meredith sat down in the ambulance, she turned to Cristina who was outside because Bailey told her to wait and genuinely asked, "Seriously, what's your news?"

But she was cut off by Bailey, "Now's not the time for chit chat. We have an emergency here!"

Becoming instantly quiet, the two looked like they were just scolded for talking during quiet time in elementary school. Before the doors to the ambulance closed, Meredith managed to mouth a 'later' to Cristina.

Upon arriving at the accident, all of the interns were thrown into shock at the site before them. It seemed that a container boat had collided with a ferry boat which had caused utter chaos. After getting a grip back on reality, Izzie asked Bailey where they are needed but Bailey just barks out that she can't hold their hand. So, each of interns took off in different directions. Meredith approached the first victim she saw – a woman. Seeing that the woman is one of the greens, her attention is turned to the sounds of nearby crying. Scanning her surroundings, Meredith spotted a little girl around the age of seven all by herself. Instinctively, as she made her way over to the girl, she put a protective hand over her unborn son. Kneeling down so she was eye level with the child, Meredith asked if she was lost.

The girl, who had an eerie quality about her, only responded in nods and blank stares; Meredith asked, "Do you remember the last time you saw your Mom?"

The only response Meredith received was when the girl wet her pants and hugged her out of sheer fright.

Taking the child's hand in her own, Meredith reassured her, "It's going to be all right. We're going to find your Mommy and you're going to stay with me until we do, ok?"

The girl only nodded. Meredith knew that she had to help other critically injured patients but she couldn't just leave the girl by herself.

So, Meredith took off to find the nearest patient that needed her help. The first person she came across was a man who had a huge gash on his forehead. Putting on her latex gloves, she began to examine him. It appeared that the skull had been crushed inward and from what she could tell there were pieces of bone fragment lodged into his brain. He needed to get into an OR quick; she didn't know the extent of the damage but the longer the bone remained in there the more severe the damage could be.

"Meredith!" She heard a familiar voice calling out to her. Looking up from the victim, she saw Derek and a paramedic heading this way.

Being professional as he could, he instantly asked, "What's going on with this victim?"

She took a deep breath. She and Derek had been on ferry boats many times and now they had this mutual understanding when they saw each other to be grateful they were not hurt. "A male between 35 and 40 with a laceration and a break to the left frontal lobe."

Derek was now examining the man and after a few moments he began to instruct the paramedic, "This man needs an instant transport to Seattle Grace and tell the doctors when you arrive the he has a fracture to the skull and there may be possible hemorrhaging." The medic nodded and began wheeling the victim toward one of the ambulances.

Turning toward Meredith, Derek ran a hand down her arm, "Are you all right?" He asked more about her mental state than of her physical.

She nodded in response, "Yeah, I guess all these months of training to be objective has finally paid off."

For the first time, since he had found Meredith he noticed the little girl with her. "Who's the girl?"

Glancing down at her, she said, "I'm not sure. She won't speak but all I know is that she's lost. And I can't bear to leave her alone."

He agreed, "Of course."

Scanning the area around her once again, she said bluntly, "We're needed elsewhere. We'll have time to talk about all of this later." Taking the girl, she walked out of Derek's sight.

During the next hour or so, Meredith had helped tend to several victims that ranged from being on the verge of death to merely having a few scrapes and bruises. And as she was finishing up getting her most recent victim sent to the hospital, she heard a groaning noise coming from the edge of the dock. Walking over to the edge, she began to see an injured man climbing over the side. Rushing over to help him, she tried to help him up but he was in some kind of disoriented state and exclaimed, "No!" It was then that he pushed Meredith off the dock and sent her falling toward the ocean.

There was only one thought running through her mind as she fell and finally landed into the cold waters of the Pacific - she had to protect her baby. Meredith didn't know how she was going to achieve this but it was the only thing she was concerned about. When she finally stopped sinking, she began to kick with all her energy while she hand one hand on her stomach and the other trying to pull herself to the surface. The rate at which she fell and gravity had caused her to go deep below the surface so it seemed like an eternity as she was trying to find her way up; at one point in time she felt as if she was about to run out of air and faint. But, she would not give up. She would protect her son so she began to kick harder because she knew that when she wasn't receiving oxygen neither was he and that would more detrimental to him than to her.

Finally, she had reached the surface. She took in a deep breath of air and thought that everything was going to be all right. But, suddenly a sharp pain surged through her stomach. It was so intense that she sank back under the water for a moment before getting the will power to kick to the surface once more. Something was definitely wrong and she knew she couldn't support herself in the water. Eyeing the situation around her, she spotted some floating debris from the wreck. Meredith knew that it wasn't very safe but she had a better chance of surviving if she had something to hold onto. Taking another deep breath, she managed to swim the several yards to a floating piece of wood. Grasping onto it, she held on for dear life but almost let go when another more intense pain went through her body. This caused her to cry out in pain but no one heard her. She was scared. Scared that no one find her until it was too late and her baby would die.

Meanwhile, the little girl had watched all of this but had no reaction, almost as if she had no soul. So, she began wandering around for someone else to latch onto. As she was wandering around, she reached the vicinity of where Derek was treating another victim.

As he was sending this one off the hospital, he noticed the little girl. More specifically, that she was alone. Approaching her, he had a very concerned look on his face. So, he immediately asked, "What happened to the woman you were with?"

The girl still would not say anything but she merely pointed out into the ocean. He pleaded with the child, "Can you please tell me what happened to her?"

Yet, she still would not speak. This is when Derek's concern went from bad to worse. He knew he shouldn't leave the girl alone but if something had happened to Meredith the girl would have to wait. So, he took off toward the edge of the pier.

When he arrived at the edge, he began to search frantically for any sign of her. He had never been as scared in his life as he was now. If he lost Meredith and his son, he wouldn't know how he would go on. After several minutes of running down the dock looking for any sign of her, he spotted a figure several yards out hanging onto a piece of wood that had come from the ferry. Even though he couldn't see the face of the figure, he knew it was Meredith. Rushing down the ramp, he dove into the cold water and began swimming as fast as he ever had toward her.

Finally reaching her, he found her shaking and gasping for air. The only words she managed to say were, "Derek, the baby…"

A knot began to form in his stomach but he managed to ignore it and he put an arm around Meredith's chest and began swimming on his back with her on top of him back to the dock.

When he reached the ramp, he pulled Meredith and himself onto it and quickly picked Meredith up and carried her to get help. Spotting a nearby ambulance, he began to run as fast he could toward it.

When he got there, he placed Meredith on a stretcher and began to yell at the paramedic, "We have to get her to a hospital. She's twenty two weeks pregnant."

The paramedic just looked at him dumbfounded for a second until Derek shouted, "Now!" Then, the paramedic instantly went to the front of the ambulance and began to start it. Derek and one of the other EMTs loaded Meredith into the ambulance and closed the door.

Sitting next to her in the back of the ambulance, Derek took her hand and tried to soothe her, "It's going to be all right."

But, Meredith just had another wave of pain wash over her which caused her to cry out in pain. Now, Derek was shaking. He wasn't a specialist in obstetrics and he didn't know what was going to happen to his son.

As he held her hand, he noticed there was blood on it. First, he quickly glanced at himself to see if he had cut himself by accident while getting to Meredith but there was nothing. Swallowing, he began to look Meredith over and it was then he saw it. There was blood on her pants. Something bad was happening to their baby

* * *

_**Author's note: So, as in the previous chapter, I changed some dialogue around. This time it was in the beginning scene.  
**_

.


	18. A Time To Heal

The double doors that served as the entrance to the emergency room swung open. Dr. Bailey was waiting for what she assumed was another victim from the ferry boat accident. But, she was thoroughly mistaken. When the doors to the ambulance were opened, the paramedic began his usual spiel about the patient's information, "Jane Doe around 25 to 30 with vaginal bleeding. Fell unconscious about ten minutes ago."

At this point, Derek was frantic and correctly corrected the uninformed EMT, "It's Meredith."

For a brief moment, Miranda Bailey was in shock. She had just seen Meredith only two hours earlier and yet here she was unconscious and bleeding. Quickly composing herself before anyone saw, she questioned Derek, "What happened?"

The EMTs started wheeling her into the ER as Derek and Bailey followed, "I-I don't know. There was this little girl that was with Meredith and then when I saw the girl again she was alone and I knew Meredith wouldn't have just left her. So, I asked her where Meredith was and she pointed out into the ocean so I searched for Meredith and found her holding onto a stray part of one of the boats in the water." His breathing had been rapid ever since he had rescued her.

As they placed Meredith into one of the examination rooms, Bailey glanced in at Meredith and swiftly got the attention of one of the nurses, "Page Dr. Montgomery. Make sure you indicate that's a 911."

Bailey then went to enter the examination room and Derek was right behind her. Turning around to face him, she put a hand up in front of him, "No, you're in no condition to try to help her right now. And what we don't need is for you to be in the way."

"But -"

He tried to protest but she stopped him, "You want us to do the best we can and the way we can do that is if you stay out here."

A part of him knew that she was right so he reluctantly agreed. But, he wasn't about to go far from her. Walking backwards towards the wall, he slid down until he was sitting on the floor with his knees against him. All that was running through his mind was that he was going to lose his son or worse lose both the baby and Meredith. After what seemed like an eternity to him but was only mere minutes, Addison arrived and saw Derek soaking wet on the floor. She saw that his entire expression showed fear to the world and Addison knew instantly that it was Meredith.

Knowing that she shouldn't waste anytime, she walked quickly toward the doors of the examination room where Meredith lay unconscious. But before she entered, Derek quickly got to his feet and stopped her.

He placed a hand on her arm; he was shaking. Looking at his ex wife with pleading eyes, "Addison…"

Nodding assertively, she responded, "I know." There was an unspoken assurance between them that Addison would do everything in her power to help Meredith and her baby. She entered the room after a brief silence between and set to work.

Derek just slinked back the wall and sat down again. A puddle had formed around him from his wet scrubs. Putting his head between his knees, he watched as more water continued to drip to the floor. He felt numb; after all that they had been through things were finally falling into place for Meredith and Derek and now it could be taken away in an instant. His little boy that hadn't even had the chance to live could be gone. Gripping his fingers around his dark locks, tears began to shed from his eyes. For so many years, he had been in situations where he had to tell a patient's family that the worst case scenario had happened. He empathized with them, of course. But, today, he found that until you're on the other side you can never really know what it really feels like to have someone you love in harms way.

He hadn't even noticed when Bailey had left the examination room until he saw her standing in front of her interns explaining what happened. Derek didn't look at her and he only heard bits and pieces of what Bailey was telling them. She quickly went back to Meredith while they stood at the door talking. Not long after Bailey passed him by, another figure came up to him and sat down beside him. It was Mark. Normally, Derek would have said something sarcastic and left. But, this time he did nothing because quite frankly he didn't care. Usually, he had a compassionate nature being a doctor. However, at that moment he didn't give a damn about anyone else. He didn't care about anyone else that was hurt on the boat. Derek only cared about Meredith and his son.

As the minutes ticked slowly by, some nurses were wheeling Meredith out of the examination room. Quickly getting to his feet, he began to ask questions, "What's going on? Is she ok? What about the baby?" He said rapidly. Derek was about to follow the nurses when Addison called out to him.

Reluctantly letting her go, he went to Addison to find out was going on. Clearing her throat, she began, "First of all, the bleeding she was having has stopped."

Derek wasn't about to let out a sigh of relief yet and listened intently as she continued, "But, the loss of blood was what caused her to fall unconscious. We're going to give her blood before we go into surgery."

Derek choked out, "Surgery?"

She nodded solemnly, "When I was examining the baby through ultrasound, I found the cause of the bleeding. It seems that part of the placenta has detached from the uterine wall. I'm going to try and reattach it."

Running his fingers through his hair, he asked, "And what effect does all of this on the baby? Is he going to be all right?"

She replied, "When a placental abruption happens, the main concern is the lack of nutrients and oxygen getting to the baby. That's why we want to get Meredith into surgery as soon as possible. As of right now, the baby's heart rate is low but not low enough to be life threatening. But, I am concerned."

She placed a friendly hand on his shoulder, "I'm going to do everything to save your son."

Addison started to leave when she turned to Derek and told him, "After she gets prepped for surgery, there'll be a few minutes when you can see her." He gave a slight nod and she was on her way.

As Meredith was getting prepped for surgery, Derek took this time to shower and change clothes. He had sat on the bench in the middle of the locker room to put on his shoes but now he just had his hands placed on his knees as he stared at nothing in particular out in front of him. During his shower, he kept trying to tell himself to wake up from this nightmare but no matter how hard he tried the situation never changed. Sighing, he rose from the bench and began towards the pre-surgery bay where Meredith was being held. Derek was walking slowly in her direction; it's not that he didn't want to see her it's just that he was afraid to see the state she was in – weak and fragile. Then, he didn't know if she had regained consciousness or not. If she had, how would he tell her that they could lose the baby? She had come so far in accepting her upcoming role as a mother and to have the thing she worked so hard for to be taken away was cruel. Of course, he realized that he had been thinking negatively this entire time and he was usually the positive one in their relationship. Sure, Addison was one of the best pre-natal surgeons in the country but he also knew that sometimes people can't be saved or something unexpected could happen on the operating table.

He than began to think about, if Addison couldn't repair the placenta or if the baby's heart rate lowered more, what would happen if their son had to come into this world early. Thinking back to medical school, he remembered bits and pieces of the class he was required to take on obstetrics and gynecology. He knew that the limit of viability for a fetus was twenty four weeks and then the baby only had about a 50 chance of surviving. Meredith was only twenty two weeks. While that was only two weeks away, two weeks in the term of a pregnancy means significant development for the baby. The earliest in a gestational period an infant had born at was twenty one weeks. But, babies who survived at that early were rare. The odds were not in favor of his son.

As he came upon Meredith's room, he saw her lying still on the bed. She was still unconscious. As Derek reached for the door, he took a deep breath as he entered. Seeing who was entering, the nurse quickly left the room to let Derek have some alone time with Meredith. He gently sat down in the chair next to her bed and took her hand in his. Scanning her over, he noticed all of the wires and devices hooked up to her. The IV in her hand, the IV in the crook of her elbow where she was receiving blood transfusions, and the two heart monitors on her: one on her chest and one on her abdomen for the baby. Derek watched the heart monitors for a few moments. Meredith's was relatively normal but the baby's was indeed how Addison described it – lower than normal but not life threatening yet. Using his free hand, he placed it on her abdomen. Derek realized that he had never felt his son kick and there was a possibility that he may never get to.

Rubbing her stomach lightly, he felt Meredith's hand move in his own. With his eyes widening, he whispered, "Mer? Meredith?"

Letting out a slight groan, she cracked her eyes open and began to survey her surroundings. It didn't take long for her to figure out that she was in the pre-surgery bay.

That's when she became alarmed and her eyes fully opened and she began to ask fearfully, "Derek, what's going on? Is something wrong with the baby?" Her hand went instantly to her stomach.

Swallowing hard, he started to explain when Meredith tearfully stated, "Oh my god, he's dead isn't he. And they're going to have to perform a caesarean to get him out aren't they?"

Derek quickly corrected her, "No, he's alive."

"Then what?" She demanded from him.

"It seems that when you fell into the ocean the force of the impact caused you to have a placental abruption, which also caused you to have some vaginal bleeding. That's why you're getting a blood transfusion."

She glanced at bag of blood hanging beside her bed, "And our son? How is all of this affecting him?"

Derek continued, "Well, right now he's in a little distress and his heart rate is low. Addison is hoping that if she reattaches the placenta his heart rate will go up."

Derek and Meredith both knew what could happen if their son wasn't getting enough oxygen: paralysis, mental retardation and a whole myriad of other problems.

Not long after, a nurse entered the room telling them it was time for Meredith to go into surgery. The nurse began to wheel her out of the room and Meredith and Derek held onto each other's hands until they no longer could. Derek watched as she was being wheeled further and further away from him until he could no longer see her. Derek knew he couldn't stay here and he didn't have the nerve to watch the surgery. So, he did the only thing that there was left to do – stay in the waiting room like all of the other families.

When he went into the room, he surveyed the area. There were a few people in there, most of them older probably waiting for their grandchildren to arrive. Releasing a heavy sigh, Derek took a seat next to a woman in her early sixties. Her hair color was maroon; obviously from using one of those home dying kits that came in a box. It was something that you would never see naturally. Also, balancing on the tip of her nose were a pair of reading glasses with big, light pink frames. She was knitting a red and black baby blanket. Something you didn't see everyday since most of the blankets were either blue or pink or if you factored in the trends nowadays green or yellow.

After a few moments, she noticed him watching her, "I know that a red and black blanket ain't something you see everyday but if you were from where I'm from then ya wouldn't even have to ask 'ny questions." She had a thick Southern accent.

"And where would that be?"

Smiling proudly, she answered, "Atlanta, Georgia."

The small talk was keeping Derek distracted a little from everything that was happening. So, he continued, "So, the red and black?"

"The school colors of the University of Georgia, of course. In the south, college football is like a religion to some people." She said as a matter of fact.

"Ah." Was all he said in response but continued in questioning her, "So, what brings you to Seattle?"

"Well, my son in law got promoted and the job was located here. We've, me and my husband, have been up 'ere a couple weeks waitin' for our granddaughter to be born."

She paused in her knitting for a moment and continued, "My! Where are my manners? I've just been blatherin' on and on about myself. So, I thought they usually let the husbands in the delivery rooms nowadays."

Fumbling with his words, he tried to make the answer as quick and easily as possible, "Well, uh, she's having surgery so the baby won't come early." It was technically true. He just didn't want to go into all the details; he was afraid he would come apart again.

The woman contemplated, "Hmmm, my daughter in law had my first grandbaby at 30 weeks but now you couldn't even tell it. I hear the doctors are some of the best in the country. I'm sure your wife and baby will be fine."

Derek didn't have the heart to tell her he wasn't married to Meredith, "God, I hope so."

The woman continued on, "This is your first, isn't it?"

Derek nodded, "You can tell?"

"Of course, sugarplum, first time fathers always have that look of worry in their eye on whether or not they'll be good fathers. But, when you hold that baby in your arms for the first time, all that worry goes away."

Derek just hoped that he'd get to have that chance. "So, do you know what you're havin'?"

Clearing his throat, he replied, "It's a boy. We're having a boy."

The woman smiled slyly, "Let's just hope he gets his Daddy's looks."

For the first time since all of this had happened, Derek let a small smirk appear on his face.

"So, what's the little man's name going to be?" She asked continuing with her knitting.

"Uh, well, we haven't decided. I mean we've sort of picked out a few names but nothing has really stuck."

In all of her elderly wisdom, she gave him some more advice, "When the right name comes along you'll just know it's right and there'll be no questioning it."

He just nodded along to her words of wisdom on parenthood while the minutes ticked by.

Four hours had gone by when Addison entered the waiting room with her scrub cap and scrubs still on. Completely forgetting about the woman he was sitting next to, he immediately got up and followed her out into the hall. His heart was racing faster than it ever had before. Derek was scared to death.

Taking a deep breath, Addison began, "The surgery went smoothly. We'll have to keep a close watch on the baby for the rest of the pregnancy to see if he has any problems with receiving lower than average oxygen levels. But, right now everything looks fine and his heartbeat is returning to normal."

Letting out a huge sigh of relief, he asked, "Where is she?"

"In recovery room 216." She told him. Wasting no time at all, he was quickly on his way.

When he arrived at her door, took a brief moment to catch his breath. He didn't want to startle her by bursting through; she had enough stress for one day. Opening the door, he entered the dim room. As his eyes adjusted, he saw that Meredith had one of her hands lightly caressing her stomach while she watched the baby's heartbeat on the monitor. She turned her head toward the door when Derek entered.

He sat down beside her bed like he had done only a few hours earlier, "How do you feel?"

With her voice scratchy, she answered, "Like someone has ripped out my insides and ran them over with a truck and put them back in wrong."

Giving her one of his McDreamy looks of concern, Derek placed his hand on top of Meredith's that lay over their son. Sitting in silence, the calm was suddenly broken when Meredith and Derek felt a lurch.

With her eyes glistening, Meredith said in disbelief, "He kicked."

A huge grin appeared on Derek's face. He got to feel his little boy kick. The proud father role was definitely going to suit him well. Having him kick at that very moment gave Meredith and Derek the hope that everything could still turn out all right. They could still be a bright and shiny family.


	19. Putting the Pieces Back Together

A month had passed since Meredith had surgery to reattach the baby's placenta. Not long after the surgery, her mother died. Derek had become greatly concerned that this would put more stress on her pregnancy and that was the last thing she needed. However, Meredith seemed to take Ellis' death in stride. She had decided to forgo a funeral and had her mother cremated. Claiming that it was what her mother would have wanted, Derek and some of her friends doubted this. However, Ellis did seem to be an extreme version of Cristina and probably would have thought having a funeral would have been a waste of time when people could have been in surgery.

But whatever the case, no one argued with Meredith because one, she didn't need the stress of a funeral, two, funerals cost a lot of money and three, Meredith had been put on bed rest for a month to ensure that the placenta didn't un-attach again.

Upon having a placental abruption, not only was she put on bed rest except to use the bathroom and shower, but she had to visit her OB/GYN every week for the rest of the pregnancy to make sure everything was on schedule developmentally. Meredith was now considered as having a high risk pregnancy. After her latest appointment, her doctor told her that she could go back to work but not to overexert herself. Of course, being a doctor, that would be difficult to do. But, she was more than ready to go back to work. Most people consider being able to lie in bed all the time a great luxury but after a week straight Meredith got bored and antsy. However, she did her best to do as the doctor ordered. She didn't want to go through another scare of losing the baby again. So, during her time off when everyone else was at work, Meredith had begun shopping online for baby things. There was an ulterior motive to buying things online; she was able to get up and answer the door when the delivery man arrived. She always justified it by saying that she couldn't just let delivery man leave her son's things outside and she wasn't going to have the man ring the door bell five hundred times either.

The nursery was actually near complete now. One weekend that Derek had off, he had painted the room in a pale blue color that matched the color of the ferry boat bedding that they had bought earlier. And, Meredith had bought a dresser, changing table, and rocking chair that matched the wood finish of the crib. There were several small things that she lacked. She needed to buy more outfits, a car seat, a baby monitor, stroller and etc. While the nursery was getting completed, there were still things left unfinished, namely Derek's mother.

After Meredith was discharged from the hospital, Derek decided that he should at least let his family know what was going on. He purposely called his mother at a time when he knew she wouldn't be home. Even though knowing it was kind of mean of him, Derek still didn't want to directly talk to her after her visit.

So, his message went something like this, "Mom, it's Derek. I just thought I'd let you and the others know that Meredith had a placental abruption and we almost lost the baby."

He hung up after those two sentences. Needless to say, later that day he got calls from all of his sisters and his mother. Hearing that they almost lost a nephew and a grandchild respectively, their harsh criticism over the situation turned to concern and somewhat acceptance. Derek's mother of course wanted to come out and help but he reminded her of how Meredith didn't need any stress and considering what had happened the last time they met Derek refused her offer. Plus, Derek didn't like how it took almost losing the baby to have her want to be apart of his new life. So, he told her that maybe in a few months or when the baby was born that she could come out again.

Today was finally Meredith's first day back after the accident. She trudged down the stairs into the kitchen to find a hearty breakfast on a tray and Derek cleaning up. Turning around when he heard her, he asked, "What are you doing up? I was going to give you breakfast in bed."

Sitting down at the island, she took the plate off the tray, "I have been in bed for a month straight. I don't want to be in it any longer than I have to now."

"I just didn't want you to over exert yourself." Derek looked at her concerned.

Smirking, she replied, "I think I can manage walking down the stairs without over exerting myself. Besides, Dr. Gallagher cleared me for work so I think going down the stairs is minor in the grand scheme of things."

Meredith began eating the bacon on front of her when Derek commented, "I just worry about you and Michael."

In between bites, Meredith raised her eyebrows, "Michael? No way. There was this bastard that I dated in high school that cheated on me and dumped me a week before prom. To this day, every time I heard that name it reminds me of him so we are not naming our son that."

Raising his hands up in defeat, he conceded, "Alright, no Michael then but do you have any suggestions?"

Meredith hesitated before she spoke, "Well, I've kind been contemplating the name Jamie."

Looking at her incredulously, Derek quickly dismissed the idea, "It's kind of feminine, don't you think?"

"It's a gender neutral name!" Meredith insisted.

"You know the first thing you thing you think of when you hear the name Jamie is a female." Derek countered back.

At this moment, Alex, who recently had moved in since George had gotten married, walked into the kitchen and began to rummage through the refrigerator. Derek decided that he would prove his point to Meredith, "Alex, when you hear the name Jamie what's the first thing that you think of?"

Taking the orange juice out and pouring himself a glass, he replied, "I don't know. Some chick, hopefully a hot one."

"See! What did I tell you?" Derek said triumphantly.

"Alright, we won't name him Jamie. But, seriously, Derek we need to come up with a name."

"We will. We still have a few more months." He assured her. "By the way, with all of this time you've had off all you could think of was Jamie?" He asked.

She sighed in frustration, "Well, I want the name to be perfect for him. And I don't want to saddle him with something that he'll hate for the rest of his life."

"Well, don't worry about it right now." He said as he looked at his watch, "We better get a move on it. You don't want to be late for your first day back."

Nodding, Meredith finished off her breakfast and proceeded to get ready for the day.

At Seattle Grace, the five interns had arrived in the locker room to get changed into their scrubs. As per usual, someone was complaining about some aspect of their lives and today it was Izzie. She was going on and on about Alex moving into the house and how George would be left homeless after his 'loveless' marriage crashed and burned. At least she managed to shut up about it right before George arrived. When George did finally arrive, he asked Meredith a question that was on everyone else's minds, "How are you doing?"

Sighing, determination filled her voice, "Ok, everybody, let's do this once. I'm fine. She's cremated. I picked out a beautiful urn and she's hanging out in the back of my closet. And, the baby's healthy. I wouldn't have been able to go back to work if he wasn't. Now, any more questions about my dead mother or unborn child? Or can we get back to work?"

After a brief discussion over who the outside candidate for chief would be, Bailey came in to give the interns their assignments, "O'Malley: you're with Shepherd today. Yang: Dr. Montgomery, Stevens: to the clinic, Karev: Jane Doe, Grey: scut."

Sighing once more, Meredith countered, "Once again, I'm fine."

Bailey rolled her eyes, "You can tell everybody that you're fine until you're blue in the face. You're Mom _died_ and your baby almost joined her. You're taking it easy. You can't just come off a month's worth of bed rest and jump right back into things." She instructed Meredith before she swaggered out of the locker room leaving Meredith to accept the situation.

After spying on the new chief candidate and his rather 'touchy' reunion with Cristina, Izzie and Meredith were walking down one of the hospital corridors to their respective assignments.

"What are you doing tonight?" Izzie said as she ate an apple, "Because I don't want to go home and find Alex there and it's just the two of us and all weird and awkward. And he doesn't know if he should talk to me or not talk to me. This is such an awkward situation. I rather it be group awkwardness, you know."

As Izzie continued to ramble, Meredith spotted her father and step mother in front of her and quickly escaped into a nearby closet to avoid them. Izzie, confused, looked around for her roommate, "Meredith?"

She didn't have enough time to figure out where she went before Cristina approached her asked, "Have you seen Montgomery?"

"No." Then she got a bright idea, "Hey, what're you doing tonight!? Want to come over? You and I never really get a chance to hang out." Her beeper started to go off and that was when Cristina saw Collin Marlow approaching and quickly entered the same closet as Meredith.

Continuing to rant about Alex moving in, Izzie looked around to see that Cristina had disappeared as well, "What the hell?"

Meanwhile inside the closet, Meredith claimed her territory, "This is my hiding spot! My father's out there. Go somewhere else." She motioned towards the door.

Of course Cristina wasn't about to leave either, "I need the closet Meredith!"

Meredith pushed Cristina's buttons, "Collin Marlow!"

Cristina sighed, "Yes, he was my professor. We were close."

Meredith began criticizing her, "He had his hand on your ass. I sure hope you were close." Her criticism soon turned to teasing however, "You were that girl, huh? The girl who slept with the professor. We had one in my class. She only got to the radiologist though. No one got near the cardio god."

Cristina, clearly uncomfortable with the situation, responded, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I scored big. You know, hide in the bathroom!"

Scoffing, she bit back, "My awkwardness with my father is well established. You and the cardio god on the other hand have loads to catch up on." She wiggled her eyebrows in Cristina's direction.

She groaned in dismay, "I don't want to talk to the cardio god."

These statements caused Collin Marlow to speak from behind the door, "You know we can hear you in there."

Meredith and Cristina glanced at each other before Cristina opened the door and exited while being followed by her former lover. This left Meredith to face her step mother. Susan Grey stood in the door way to block Meredith's path in case she tried to run away again, "We heard about your mother. We're so sorry."

Giving her the normal response, Meredith said, "Thank you."

Continuing to question her, Susan asked, "There wasn't a funeral or anything?"

Meredith shook her head, "She didn't want that." Figuring they were here for one reason, Meredith stated, "I hope everything is ok with the baby."

"Oh, we're not here with the baby. We're making sure you're alright." She said glancing down at Meredith's protruding stomach, noticing she was pregnant. Susan was about to ask when Meredith responded.

"We don't have to do this. I'm not in shock. I'm not wracked with grief. I'm just moving on."

"You're pregnant?" Susan indicated.

Glancing down at her stomach and then back up to Susan, Meredith stammered, "Uh, well, yeah."

"How far along are you?" She asked surprised.

Clearly uncomfortable, Meredith answered quickly as she could, "Six and a half months."

There was a brief moment of awkward silence between the two before Susan said, while still looking at Meredith's stomach, "We'd, uh, like to at least make dinner for you or something. He's been really worried about you. He's the family you have left, Meredith."

She grinned from the irony of the statement, "I don't see it that way. I have a family." Meredith stated as she placed a protective hand over her abdomen.

Susan just shook her head in disbelief, "When is this going to stop? Yes, he made some mistakes but he's not a monster. He's just an inarticulate person who spills food on his shirt a lot. Please, have dinner with us tonight. I'll make some chili and the whole thing will be over in an hour. Think you can do that?"

Meredith grimaced slightly, she definitely did not want to face her father and go through a whole night of awkwardness but there was this nagging feeling in the back of her mind. She read in a text book once in one of her undergraduate classes about when you become a parent it's really the beginning of adulthood. You can get married and get divorced and be an ex spouse but you can't ever be an ex parent. And over these last few months, Meredith had slowly started to transcend into this new adulthood where she knew that thinking of what she wanted would always come second, which is why she decided to agree to dinner but have it her house so she would be on familiar territory. Meredith knew that she would probably never have a good relationship with her father but maybe she should at least give her son the option of having a relationship with his grandfather.

Later that night, Derek, her father, and Susan were all at the dining room table while Meredith was in the kitchen getting the entrée. Needless to say the evening so far had been anything less than awkward. Inside the kitchen, Izzie put the final touches on the meal and handed it to Meredith, "This is ready. Don't slosh it around! It's all about the presentation." She instructed and waved her hands around to give emphasis.

Meredith, who had insisted on getting the main course herself to get out of the awkwardness, pleaded with Izzie, "Come in and eat with us."

Deciding on going the sarcastic route, Izzie responded, "You need to bond with your people. People are what matters." She was doing this on purpose for giving George's room to Alex.

"I hate people." She said as she continued to persuade Izzie to come back in with her. Apparently, the whole trying to have a relationship with her father for her son looked way better on paper than actually trying to do it. Her own insecurities really caused her to contemplate if going through this complete and utter awkwardness for birthdays and holidays was worth it. She wanted to be able to give the world to her son but Meredith wasn't exactly sure if putting him through these kinds of situations would be healthy. Besides, having to explain why Mommy never talked to Grandpa was something she rather do when he was teenager than when he was five years old.

Rolling her eyes, Izzie replied, "Do your own talking."

Groaning, Meredith spoke, "We talked. We talked hospital. We talked his research. We talked dead mother. I'm out."

Izzie shrugged as Meredith went back into the dining room, "Ask about the baby. Ask if it poos. People can go on about that for hours. Oh! Ask about how to deal with your own baby poo. You know, compare notes."

Meredith just glared at Izzie as she reentered the dining room. As she brought the meal out and placed it onto the table, Susan commented, "The chicken looks delicious."

Meredith's response made the whole situation even more awkward, "It's from the store."

Derek wasn't sure if she was purposely trying to make the situation tenser or not. God knows why she would. Maybe she wanted to make the situation so awful that they would rush through the meal and leave already. When she wanted to, Meredith was an expert at pushing people away. He was just glad that she finally realized that he wasn't going to leave her again and let him in.

Trying to ease the situation, Susan tried to compliment the meal again, "Well, the green beans look great as well."

"I didn't do those either." Meredith retorted.

Yep, she was definitely trying to end the night as quickly as possible. And even though he knew what she was doing, he tried to at least make some more conversation, "It's beautifully presented."

"Izzie did that…" Luckily, Alex entered the house. Quickly getting up, she went to pull a chair for him, "Come! Sit, eat. We're eating."

After introducing him to Susan and her father, Meredith started drilling him, "So, how are you? How was your day?"

Oblivious to the situation, Alex responded casually as he dug into the food, "Ok, hungry."

So, plan A of adding someone else to the table as a distraction had failed. So, she decided to take Izzie up on her advice. Well, not about the poo part, "So, uh, how's the baby."

This elicited a smile from both Susan and Thatcher and Susan began, "Great."

Thatcher then took over by saying, "She's smiling now. She looks exactly like Molly when she smiles. It's amazing."

"I've really missed having a baby around and it's even better as grandparents because we get to spoil her and buy her all the pink, frilly clothes." Susan added and continued, "I'm sure if you wanted you could use some of baby's smaller clothes."

Meredith and Derek side-glanced each other before Derek looked down at his plate and smiled and Meredith answered, "Uh, well, he might look a little silly in pink."

Susan laughed awkwardly, "Oh, you're having a boy?"

Meredith nodded as Susan went on, "That's something new for us. We've only had to deal with girls."

"Little girls are amazing. There's this old picture of Molly and me when Molly was, I don't know, five and she's sitting on this red sled in the snow. And there's this great big fir tree." Thatcher started to tell a story.

Realizing where this was going, Susan tried to stop him, "You know, I'm not sure that that's…"

But he was insistent, "Yeah, no, honey it's a massive Douglas fir. And in the picture couldn't look more like the baby. I mean incredible." He said rather pleased with himself.

The rest of the room went silent as Meredith spoke up, "That's me. The red sled and big fir tree in the park at the middle school. And the ugly yellow plaid wool coat. That isn't Molly. It's you and me." Luckily, Izzie somehow knocked out the power which eased the tension between everyone by giving them something else to focus on.

Thatcher took this opportunity to leave the room and try and fix the lights and Derek was soon after him with a flash light, leaving Meredith and Susan alone. Meredith began to apologize for snapping at her father, but Susan tried to reassure her, "It's going fine."

Sighing, Meredith began, "I just don't know what to say to him."

Susan began to play with her earlobe out of nervousness, "It's not easy. It's because he's afraid of you."

Furrowing her brow, she said, "I shouldn't have bit his head off. I wish I could have just…" She didn't know what to say. Everything was so complicated.

"Meredith," Susan began, "It's ok to get angry. It's you in the picture."

Meredith just remained silent. She wanted so much to have the normal family where her parents were still together and she had a wonderful relationship with both of them. However, that wasn't the case and Meredith didn't know how to deal with trying to start having a relationship with a man she hadn't seen in about twenty years. A part of her almost hated him. He had been the perfect father for his other two daughters but she just got thrown to the side because Ellis demanded he stay away. Anyone could have the perfect life when there weren't obstacles standing in their way but just because there is a giant one in front of you doesn't mean you should give up so easily.

She would never tell anyone this but she was still a little afraid of becoming a mother. Because in about three months, she would have this tiny boy needing her for everything, to show him how to live in this world when she wasn't sure how to do that herself. And, almost as if he knew she needed it, her son began to kick causing Meredith to let out an 'oh' and look down at her stomach.

Looking at her with a concerned expression, Susan questioned, "Is everything alright?"

Grinning and glancing back up, she answered, "He's kicking."

Susan smiled, "Looks like you have a little night owl. When I was pregnant with the girls, they would keep me up all night sometimes with their kicking. Needless to say the last month, I was very exhausted. Of course, that didn't change when they were born either."

"Did, uh, he get up in the middle of the night to help?" She wasn't quite sure what to refer Thatcher as. Their relationship was a little too complicated to call him Dad.

"Actually, he surprised me with all the things he knew about taking care of a baby. He'd usually change diapers and rock them to sleep during the day but at night he was utterly useless…which I guess he learned from previous experience." Susan replied and hesitated at the last for she knew how uncomfortable talking about Meredith's past with Thatcher made her feel.

Giving a slight smirk, Meredith stated, "Derek says he can't wait to get up at night with the baby but I'm sure after a week of it he'll change his mind."

Changing the subject, Susan asked, "So, do you have any names picked out?"

Laughing, Meredith shook her head no, "No, Derek and I can't agree on anything as of yet. I'm worried that he'll be nameless for the first few months of his life except I know that they don't let you leave the hospital without a name so we might be staying there awhile."

"I'm sure you'll come up with something that's perfect for him." Susan articulated.

During their conversation about the baby, the lights flickered back on and Derek and Thatcher emerged from the laundry room. Walking over to Meredith and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, he told her, "I got a page. I'll be back later tonight."

Thatcher and Susan both looked at each other before she spoke, "Yes, we should be going as well."

"Oh, ok." Meredith moved the plates on the table, "Would you like to take anything home?"

"It was delicious but no thank you." Susan said politely.

After getting their coats, Meredith walked with Derek, her father, and Susan out to their cars and Susan had a motherly arm around Meredith's shoulders when Susan commented, "I'm so glad we did this."

"I am too. Thank you for suggesting it because I…"

Susan finished her sentence, "…because you never would have in a million years." Giving her a pat on the back, Susan left for the car. Turning to face her father, there was a small awkward silence between them before Thatcher extended his hand, "I'm sorry about your mother."

She gave him a slight nod, "Thank you."

He went to leave but he noticed the porch swing, "The swing's still here."

Studying the swing, she told him, "It, uh, doesn't swing anymore. No one uses it."

Getting an expression on his face as if he had an epiphany, he reached to the side of the swing and pulled out a nail, "I put this in there. You used to catch your fingers." They shared an unspoken moment before he left. It was almost as if the swing was a metaphor for their relationship. It used to work but for years there was something hindering it but maybe it was easy as pulling a nail out to make it start working again. Looking back at the swing, Meredith pushed it a little with her foot and watched it go back and forth.

Maybe it wasn't too late to repair their relationship after all.


	20. Shenanigans

It was a bright and sunny morning, which was quite odd, considering this was Seattle. Derek was sitting at the island sipping his coffee and doing the crossword as Susan Grey entered the house with a multitude of groceries. As, she began putting various things into the cabinets, Derek commented, "Meredith, will accept a certain amount of help then she starts suffocating."

Turning around to face him, Susan looked concerned, "Oh, is this…am I suffocating?"

"Oh, no," he responded, "the groceries are just right. It's just that Meredith tends to think that she can do everything herself without anyone's help."

Continuing to put the groceries away, Susan stated, "After Ellis died, I gave her some time. But, I want to be here, help make things easier. After all, you're going to have a baby soon. You'll both need all the help you can get."

Smirking, he replied, "Good, great. Just try to keep it light, you know? Be helpful."

Almost if she knew they were talking about her, Meredith walked into the kitchen tying her sweater around her seven and one half month pregnant stomach. Turning quickly to face her, Derek grinned in a way that most people do when someone walks in on a conversation they don't want them to hear, "Morning. Want some orange juice?"

Eyeing Susan and the groceries around here, Meredith answered and then asked, "Yes. This all you?"

Shrugging, Susan rummaged through a sack, "Things to restock your fridge."

Looking at her stepmother with a look of awe and amusement, Meredith said, "You bought groceries last week."

Bringing the glass of orange juice over to Meredith, Derek teased, "You have to do it every week, if you want more."

Meredith just gave him a faux grin and turned her attentions back to Susan, "Well, thank you. It's unexpected and you didn't need to all this."

Breaking the tension, Alex walked in and questioned, "This for everybody?"

Nodding in his direction, Susan stated, "Absolutely."

"I'm going to run. I've got to talk to Richard before things get busy at the hospital." Derek said as he went over and kissed Meredith on the head and rubbed her abdomen.

As he picked up his things to leave, she asked him, "Are you going to talk to him about the…"

He cut her off, "Yeah, wish me luck."

Susan responded with an insistence in her voice, "You don't need it. Make him listen. You deserve to be Chief."

Derek just smiled as he left the house.

For the next thirty minutes, Meredith and Alex ate breakfast and made small talk with Susan until it was time for them to leave for work. It was at this time that Susan had moved on from putting up groceries to cleaning. Putting her bag over her shoulder, Meredith just stared at Susan for a second before she began, "Uh, we're heading off to work, now." She tried to hint to Susan that she was seriously making her visits too long.

As she was taking the garbage out, Susan glanced at the clock, "Oh, well, I'm almost done. I'll lock the door behind me when I leave."

Doing what she normally did in these type situations, Meredith just raised her eyebrows and gave off a fake smile before she exited her home. She definitely did not know how to handle something like this. It's not that Meredith didn't appreciate what she was doing but the whole situation was just complicated. It seemed as if Susan was trying to be the mother she never had. But, that was where the problem lay. Meredith had come to terms with having a distant, unloving mother a long time ago and especially after her mother's last lucid moment of her life. She wouldn't have admitted it to anyone but a part of her was glad that her mother was gone; it was as if this huge burden had been lifted off her shoulders. Ellis Grey's death had allowed Meredith to get a fresh outlook on life, a new start so to speak.

Not long after Meredith and Alex had left for work, Susan was finishing up her cleaning when the home telephone rang. Normally, she wasn't the type of person to intrude on others business but she had given Meredith's number to Molly and told her she was coming over here this morning. Something could be wrong with the baby. So, she answered it. "Hello?" She spoke into the phone.

The person on the other end paused for a brief moment before questioning, "Is…is Derek Shepherd there?" A female voiced asked.

"Oh, no, you just missed him. May I take a message?"

"This is his mother. I was just calling to check in." Mrs. Shepherd responded.

"Well, I'm Meredith's stepmother, Susan Grey. And, Meredith is holding up quite well, considering everything that has happened. I've been buying groceries and things to help out even though she doesn't want it." She told the other woman without being asked.

"She needs all the help she can get. The last thing she needs is unwanted stress on the baby, even if she isn't on bed rest anymore."

Becoming confused, Susan questioned, "Meredith was on bed rest? I was talking about her mother dying not too long ago."

"Wait, Meredith's mother died? It seems that both Derek and Meredith have not told us everything important that have been going on in their lives." Mrs. Shepherd said with a slight agitation in her voice.

"It seems so. What is this about Meredith being on bed rest?"

"Well, a couple months ago, she had some sort of accident when all of that ferry boat mess was going on. Apparently, she had a placenta abruption and had to have emergency surgery to reattach it; they almost lost the baby." She told Susan.

"Oh my! That was around the time that her mother died. I had no idea she had gone through so much!" Susan was glad no one was at home because she exclaimed rather loudly at the revelation.

"Yes, although, I'm not surprised I didn't know that her mother died. The last time I visited I didn't exactly leave on the right foot. And, when I found out about almost losing my grandchild I wanted to rush out here and help but Derek refused saying that I would only stress out Meredith. It does make me feel better though that you're close enough with Meredith for them to allow you to help."

"Oh, I wish. I've only recently gotten to know Meredith. Her mother didn't allow her father to see her since she was five, so our relationship is new. I can tell that she thinks I'm doing too much but this is the only way I know how to help and as I told her earlier that when she has a baby she'll need all the help she can get." Susan said as a matter of fact.

Agreeing with Susan Grey, she replied, "I feel the same way." Pausing for a moment, Mrs. Shepherd suddenly got a brilliant idea, or at least she thought so, "I think we should throw Meredith a baby shower. There are so many things that they both still need."

Even though Mrs. Shepherd couldn't see her, Susan nodded her head, "I think that's a lovely idea, but I think we need to make it a surprise because I have a feeling that she would instantly nix the idea."

"I agree because Derek would totally be against myself and his sisters coming out there all at one time. But, they'll come to appreciate what we're doing for them." Mrs. Shepherd said as a matter of fact.

"How soon can you come out here?" Susan asked.

"I can come instantly but his sisters are another matter. I have no doubt that we'll be there by the weekend. Only one of his sisters, Nancy, has met Meredith and the others are dying to meet her."

"Well, how's this Saturday? I know this great little shop with all sorts of great things for baby showers. I didn't get to throw one for my daughter since she went into premature labor so we had all this stuff we didn't use. But, since Meredith and Derek are having a boy, we can't use most of that stuff." Susan rambled on.

"Wait, did you just say they were having a boy!? I ought to scold Derek for not telling me this. I'm so excited that there will be someone to carry on the Shepherd name! Not that I wouldn't have been happy with a girl but this is just extra incentive." Derek's mother seemed a little too happy considering that Derek and Meredith were still not on good terms with her.

"Ok, so, can I get your number so we can confer over the week over the exact details of the shower." Susan grabbed a notepad a pen from the kitchen island.

"Yes, of course! And I want yours as well." She said as she proceeded to tell Susan her number.

After they both had exchanged numbers, they hung up with each other thinking this was the best thing they could do for the couple. Obviously, they did not know them at all, especially, Meredith.

The entire week was filled with secret phone calls and planning between Susan and Mrs. Shepherd. Knowing that they needed someone close to Meredith to help them figure out Derek and Meredith's schedules, Susan enlisted Izzie to help them. And, she was all too eager to do so, almost as if she was trying to keep her mind off something. Of course, Susan didn't notice this.

One of the first things that Izzie told Susan was not to tell Cristina because she would tell Meredith and the shower would not happen if that occurred. However, both Susan and Mrs. Shepherd wanted all of Meredith and Derek's 'friends' from the hospital to be there. And in order to get that, they were going to have to pull out the big guns, well, not they specifically since that would give everything away. No, they would send in their accomplice, Izzie, to talk to the Chief.

Needless to say, the Chief thought it was a wonderful idea that they were doing this for Meredith and Derek since he thought, as well, that they needed to be surrounded by family and friends. So, he agreed to pull a few strings so he could give the five interns, Bailey, and Burke the day off. Apparently, it was going to be one of those 'modern' baby showers where the men were invited as well. Of course, in order to make sure that they didn't suspect anything, the Chief made the schedule where it said that Meredith, Derek, Cristina, and Izzie were working for part of that day in order to give Susan and Mrs. Shepherd a few hours to set everything up. It was a so called perfect plan.

D-day had arrived and so far everything was going to plan. Mrs. Shepherd and Derek's sisters had arrived the day before and were helping Susan get the last minute details together before the big day.

The trio that was in the dark about everything were far from stupid so of course they thought it was odd that a lot of their friends had off and they only had to work half a day.

"Ok, what is going on? I mean everyone besides us has today off and we only have half a day. What gives?" Cristina asked no one in particular.

Playing along, Izzie feigned a response, "God, you know the world doesn't revolve around you or our little group of interns. This hospital does have other – actually, many other interns and attendings for that matter. So, it's not as if the whole hospital is going to collapse because people are getting the day off."

Looking at her quizzically, Cristina scoffed, "What the hell is with you, Barbie? You're acting like you have a stick up your ass."

"Nothing is wrong with me." She waved her hands around for emphasis, "I just don't feel like listening to you bitch about schedules."

Straightening her back up, Cristina was prepared to get into an argument with Izzie but Meredith intervened, "Both of you stop it. We have a little less than an hour before we get out of here and the last thing that's going to make that go any faster if the both of you are arguing the whole time."

Turning to face Meredith, they both had a confused look on their faces when Cristina said, "Ok, this whole motherly side of you I'm seeing is creeping me out."

"You think I'm acting motherly?" A hint of happiness could be detected in Meredith's voice.

Trying to change the subject, Izzie spoke, "Come on guys, let's just finish these charts so noon can get here and we can go home." She took a chart from the nurses' station and went off somewhere away from Meredith and Cristina to complete it. Now, it was good that Izzie was not giving away anything but she was acting a bit extreme. But, if you had slept with your best friend who was married you'd be a little on edge as well.

Finally, noon had arrived and the three interns and Derek were heading out to their vehicles when it was time for Izzie to put the final phase of the plan into action: getting everyone back to Meredith's house. The only hard part of this plan was getting Cristina over to the house. Turning on her happy, go-lucky mood, Izzie turned to Cristina as they were walking through the parking lot, "So! Cristina, we don't ever spend time together. I think since the day is still young you should come over!"

Not wasting a moment, Cristina instantly replied, "No."

A kink was thrown into the plan, but Izzie was not going to give up, "Come on, Cristina, please."

"Are you on drugs or something? I mean one minute you're bitching me out and the next you want me to come over and have bonding time." Cristina replied coldly.

Even though it seemed like that Cristina was not going to come, Izzie had planned on something like this happening, so she gave her something she knew Cristina wouldn't be able to resist, "I will give you two of my surgeries that am supposed to scrub in on if you come over."

This, of course, stopped Cristina dead in her tracks. She stared at Izzie in disbelief for a second, "Deal."

During this time, Meredith and Derek were following Izzie and Cristina and watching as this deal was made. Leaning over to Meredith, Derek whispered, "Is it me or is Izzie acting strange?"

Whispering back, she said, "Well, ever since that night she and George got drunk and he sang Sexy Back all night, she's been acting odd but today really takes the cake. Maybe she's just upset that George got to marry the love of his life but Denny died before she could." She shrugged her shoulders.

He merely responded with one word, "Maybe."

On the ride back to Meredith's house with Cristina following them on her motorcycle, Meredith turned to Izzie who was sitting in the back, "Ok, what's going on? Why are you all of a sudden wanting to bond with Cristina?"

Knowing there was only a little ways until they reached the house, Izzie would have to dodge questions that could reveal the secret of the shower, "'People are what matters,' to quote you. I'm just trying to get to know one of my friends better."

"Is this about George? What's going on between you two?" Meredith questioned innocently.

"What? Nothing. George and I are just fine, great in fact." Izzie said all in one breath.

She squinted her eyes at Izzie suspiciously, "Seriously, have you been doing drugs?"

Groaning very loudly, she replied, "No! Can we just home already?"

Laughing, Derek asked jokingly, "Wow, you're having worse mood swings than Meredith. You're not pregnant are you?"

This caused both of the women to glare intensely at him. "Man, tough crowd."

As the ride ended, Derek drove Meredith's jeep into the garage while Cristina parked her motorcycle on the street. There were no extra cars in sight since Susan and Mrs. Shepherd were not stupid enough to have an extraordinary amount of cars surrounding the house to give it away. No, they had instructed all of the guests to park on the other street.

As the group of four walked the pathway to the front door, Cristina asked, "Alright, what do you want to do to…" She grimaced, "…bond."

Knowing that the question would soon be forgotten in a matter of moments, Izzie made up a poor reasons off the top of her head, "Oh, I don't know talking and stuff."

Before Cristina could reply with one of her sarcastic responses, Derek opened the front door where Susan, Thatcher, Meredith's half sister Molly, Mrs. Shepherd, all of Derek's sisters, Bailey, Burke, Callie, George, Alex, and Richard all yelled, "Surprise!"

Derek, Cristina, and Meredith all had distinct expressions on their faces as their mouths hung open. Derek was basically just speechless while Cristina was trying to hold back her laughter. However, Meredith's was probably the most noticeable; she looked utterly horrified.

Derek was the first to say something after the initial shock of the situation wore off, "Mom…Nancy, Kathleen, Marie, and Emily, what…what are you doing here?"

Going up and hugging her son like nothing in the past had ever happened, she said, "Throwing you and Meredith a baby shower! Well, with the help of Susan, of course." She glanced back at the woman she spoke of.

"Oh, it was just something we threw together in a couple of days' time." Susan said almost humbly.

Cristina couldn't help but notice this 'thrown' together shower. It looked like it had been planned extensively. There were blue and white streamers hanging from the walls and blue balloons in which some of them said, 'It's a boy!'

Meredith still looked horrified. And since she wasn't making any movements, Susan decided to intervene and placed a hand on Meredith's back and lead her to the couch with Derek following suit.

Once the couple was seated on the couch, Mrs. Shepherd threw up her hands, "Now, everyone since our guests of honor have finally arrived. We're going to start eating. There is a variety of foods laid out for everyone on the dining room table!"

Not that she made a move to go anywhere, Derek's mother quickly went over to Meredith, "You just stay here and I'll get you a plate. I don't want you to exert yourself anymore than you have to. I want to make sure my grandson is as healthy as possible."

As soon as she left and while everyone else was standing in line to get something to eat, Meredith leaned over to Derek and whispered, "What the hell is this?"

"I have no idea. I didn't have any idea she was coming much less with my sisters." Usually, Derek was the kind of guy that just went with the flow but he had specifically told his mother not to come out here and yet here she was doing something he knew that Meredith hated. Parties were definitely not in her favorite things to do list. Sure, he knew that Susan and his mother only meant well but they obviously did not know Meredith at all.

It didn't take Mrs. Shepherd long to prepare Meredith a plate of food. Looking down at the food, Meredith noticed that all of the food was 'baby' sized. She felt nauseated and it wasn't because she didn't like the food before her.

"So, Derek, have you decided on a name yet?" His sister Kathleen asked.

Looking at Meredith and then back at his sister, he replied, "Uh, not yet."

"You're kind of cutting it close aren't you?" Nancy said smugly.

"We still have about six weeks to decide. Don't be so judgmental." Derek was getting a bit irritated. This was the last thing they needed – more criticism from his family.

"I'm not being judgmental! I'm just stating a fact." She responded just as harshly as her brother did to her.

"Now, now, Nancy, this is an important decision that isn't to be taken lightly." Mrs. Shepherd scolded her daughter. Turning her attentions back to the issue of the name, her eyes lighted up, "Oh, I have the perfect name! You should name him after your father. He'd be Albert Morgan Shepherd II."

"Albert?" Meredith managed to squeak out.

"Yes, our Dad's name. You didn't know that?" Marie, another of Derek's sister's interrogated Meredith.

"Uh…" Meredith didn't know what to say.

"Wow, you're having a baby together and you don't even know the important personal details." Marie commented.

"Marie, you-" Derek was about to defend his relationship with Meredith when his mother stopped him.

"I think it would be an honor if you were to name the baby after your father."

He sighed, "We kind of wanted to use our own name to give him a fresh start."

"Well, if you don't think your father's name is good enough to use, I understand." Mrs. Shepherd said coldly.

Susan, who had been listening in on this conversation, decided to intervene, "How about we open presents?" She got up from her seat and motioned to Thatcher to help her carry all of the gifts over to Meredith.

Once Meredith had opened all of the gifts and everyone oohed and awed at the cute, little outfits that she was given, they played the baby shower game where you passed around a diaper with a rank smelling item in it and you had to guess what it was. About two hours had passed since the shower had started and things were finally winding down and people were starting to go home. This is when the confrontations began. Derek took his mother by her hand and led her into the kitchen. Looking at him oddly, she asked, "What are you doing, Derek?"

"What am _I _doing? What are _you_ doing?" He tried to keep his rage from appearing in his voice but it wasn't working so well, "I told you that Meredith didn't need the stress of you being around and you go and do this."

"Derek, it's tradition for a woman to have a baby shower when she's having a baby. I just thought I'd help out."

"You didn't even ask if it was alright to do it. And considering that we're still not on good terms from your last visit, you didn't have any right. You're doing what you always do! Acting like nothing is wrong even when it is!" Derek was seething at this point.

"Keep your voice down." She shushed him.

"See! You're doing it again. Meredith isn't the traditional type of woman. She doesn't like these types of things. Then, to make matters worse, all of you are judging her!" He countered.

"Ever since you've moved out here, Derek, you've changed. What happened to the boy I raised?" She folded her arms across her chest.

Looking extremely agitated, he said, "My entire life has changed and for the first time I'm finally standing up for what I want. I don't want to be in this type of relationship with you but you're giving me no choice. I love Meredith and whether you like it or not we're going to raise our son the way we want to." He just stared while she just stood in silence.

In an almost monotonous voice, she stated, "As soon as we finish cleaning up, your sisters and I will leave."

Looking at his mother incredulously, he queried, "So, that's it? You're just going to leave without trying to talk this out."

"You've stated your intentions and that's all I need to know." She went into the den where the clean up was occurring while Derek just stared at her in disbelief.

Meanwhile, in the laundry room, another confrontation was occurring between Susan and Meredith.

"You wanted to talk?" Susan questioned.

"Yeah…" She took a deep breath before she began, "I appreciate all of what you've done and all but this…" She motioned around her, "…is too much."

"I just wanted to do something nice for you."

"I know that but I don't need all of this. Seriously, you're not my mother and I don't want you to be. I came to terms with having a cold and distant mother a long time ago. I'm not in grief because she died. I'm just moving on." Meredith was glad to finally get this off her chest even if she did hate confrontation.

"Ok, first of all, stop with this seriously stuff. Second, you need to give up this whole thing of not accepting anyone's help. You're having a baby." She tried to rationalize with her.

"I know but I have Derek and all my friends. And just because I'm having a baby doesn't mean I need all these people telling me how to raise my child." Meredith stated with conviction in her voice.

"Alright, I won't bring groceries over anymore and I won't push." Susan said defeated.

Meredith sighed, "Look, I don't hate you. Just don't try and be my mother."

"Ok, I won't try and be your mother." She gave Meredith a weak smile.

"Good." Meredith said smiling back.

Later that day after everyone had left, Meredith had collapsed on her bed with Derek following right after. They both sighed when Meredith asked, "You want to go first?"

"My mother and sisters are probably never going to talk to me again." He said exasperated. "What about you?"

"Well, I finally told Susan not to try to be my mother."

Not looking at her, he asked, "How'd that go?"

Staring at the ceiling, she replied, "Better than I expected. She understood."

Turning to look at her, he said, "So, I guess something good came out of this day."

Also moving her head to face him, she jested, "What are you talking about? This day is in the top ten!"

At first, he just looked at her in disbelief until he busted out laughing which caused her to start giggling as well. Putting his arm around her, the two reveled at the chaotic day.


	21. Awful Fathers, Exams, and Wet Bed Sheets

Everything in Meredith's life had been going well the last couple of months after the accident and her mother's death. So, according to Murphy's Law, things should be taking a turn for the worse. But, in Meredith's case, things weren't just about to take a turn they were about to do a complete 180.

Things with her father were going amazingly well. In fact, she believed that Susan was faking the hiccups just so they could spend time together, however, that was not to be the case. By some rare twist of fate, Susan became the 1 chance on every procedure she underwent that day until it ended in her death and leaving Meredith to be the one to tell her father.

Slowly walking down the hallway, she fiddled with her scrub cap. Utter sadness wracked her body. As she approached her father, she tried to find the right words to say. But, there were never any 'right' words for this type of situation, just ones to try and ease the blow even though they never worked.

As her heart began to race, she knew she had to tell him. Her voice cracked as she began, "We did everything we could."

Meredith waited for his reaction. At first there was nothing then almost a smile; not that he was happy at the notion that his wife was dead but the sheer audacity of what she was saying to him. This had to be some kind of cruel joke because Susan couldn't be dead. But, it was then the realization came to him that she wasn't joking. Susan really was dead. Having an expression that was a mix between disbelief, sadness, and anger, he mumbled, "You said it was really simple and that it was a small thing."

Trying to make sense of it all, she said, "It was."

It was then that Thatcher became irate. Raising his right hand, he swiftly brought it down against Meredith's cheek causing her fall into the chair behind her, "She had the hiccups!" The extra weight she was carrying in the front had caused her balance to be off and needless to say when she was slapped she couldn't control her balance any longer.

During this time, the Chief, Bailey, and Derek were watching from afar as she gave her father the bad news. Derek didn't know what was going on until the Chief told him while Meredith had already started to tell Thatcher. A part of him ached; he knew that Meredith was becoming close to Susan even after the whole baby shower debacle and to have her die so suddenly… there wasn't any way to describe how that could affect a person.

Even before Meredith became pregnant, Derek was protective of her and that doubled when he found out she was carrying his child and tripled when they almost lost their son. So, when the next thing he witnessed occurred, he saw red.

Rushing over to Meredith, in mid stride, he punched Thatcher Grey across the jaw sending him to the ground. Quickly, turning around and kneeling before Meredith who was trying to recover from the shock of what happened, he looked her over, "Are you all right?"

Tearfully, she just pressed her head into shoulder and began to cry and Derek began to gently rub her back and helped her to her feet and led her away from her father who was shouting out something incoherent about Meredith and Derek ruining his life.

Later that night, Meredith lay alone in bed staring out the window while caressing her stomach. Entering the room, Derek came in with an ice pack on his right hand. Padding over to the bed, he slid into bed next her and placed the ice pack on the night stand. Turning to face her, he placed his hand over hers, "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked quietly.

In an almost monotonous tone, she replied, "Susan died and my father blames me for it."

"There was nothing else you could do. These things just happen. The Chief, Bailey, and yourself: the best surgeons Seattle Grace has was on her case and she still died." He told her with concern in his voice.

Not replying to his comment, she continued, "I started to open up to him and…and he slaps me. He slapped his own daughter." For the first time during the conversation, she turned her head and looked at Derek.

Her voice started to break, "If…if he could do that to his own daughter, then who's to say that I won't turn into that and do something like that to our son."

Looking at her with disbelief, Derek shook his head, "You could never be like that. You could never harm him."

She started to tear up and turn away from him when he stopped her, "Look at me, there is no excuse for what your father did no matter the circumstances were. He's a selfish man who doesn't know how to appreciate someone like you. And, if you take anything from this, it's that he is the prime example of a bad parent."

Sniffling, she replied, "I'm scared."

"I know. I am too." He said hesitantly.

"What? What do you mean that you're scared? You've been so excited about this from the get go." She asked quizzically.

"That doesn't mean I'm not scared. I've never been a father before and in no way at all been prepared for it. Sure, my sisters have tons of kids but being an uncle is going to be extremely different than being a father." He inhaled, "There's going to be this little boy that's half of you and half of me. He's going to need us to teach him how to live in this world and last time I checked we both weren't pros at that."

"So, how can you tell me - " She began before he interrupted.

"But, then I realized that no one is prepared to be a parent. No amount of reading or med school can prepare someone. All he wants from us is to be loved unconditionally. And, the other stuff will be dealt with as it comes along." Derek said with the utmost sincerity in his voice.

Pushing her hair back, he said, "I've seen you looking at the newborns in the nursery and your face lights up. If you can feel like that with babies you don't even know then I have a hard time believe you could ever feel anything less for our son."

Closing her eyes, Meredith sighed and hoped to god that Derek was right.

--

It was the day of Meredith's intern exam and Susan's funeral. And she felt, well she didn't know how she felt. The accumulated stress of Susan dying, preparing for her exam and Cristina's wedding the next day was taking its toll on her.

Dressed all in black, Meredith and Derek entered the hospital. Before they parted ways, Derek said, "You know I want to go with you to the funeral…"

"Like I said the last thing we need is more drama and after what happened between you and my father…" She said uneasy.

"Yeah." He simply responded.

He softly rubbed the side of her arm before leaving her to be.

Meredith didn't think it was possible to hear the question "Are you alright?" any more than she did when her mother died and she had her accident. But, apparently, it was possible. Perhaps, it was because it was so close to the end of her pregnancy that she didn't need the added stress. While that was a big concern in of all this, she mused that most people were consoling her not because Susan died but because her father slapped her and she was going to go to the funeral anyway – on the same day of her intern exam.

Cristina in her odd sense of caring asked, "Are you sure you want to go to this? I mean the last thing you need to be thinking about is your dead step mom and your dad right before the exam."

Sighing, she smoothed out the non existent wrinkles on her dress, "I have to go. Susan was…well, she was Susan."

Ready to leave, Meredith started taking steps toward the elevator to go to the funeral when the doors opened up to reveal Thatcher and his other daughter Molly.

The whole time since Susan had died Meredith had told herself that her father was upset and in shock. So, it was normal for people who had lost a loved one to act irrationally. It was the only way that any of what he did made any sort of sense. But, when she saw him, her heart clenched in fear. Slowly, approaching him, she said in almost a near whisper, "Hey, I…I was just on my to…"

Almost if he had been drinking, he said in a hateful tone, "No, I came here to tell you you're not wanted. I don't want you at any funeral, Meredith."

The Chief, being the fatherly figure that he was, tried to step in, "Why don't you come with…"

But, Thatcher continued on his rant, "She trusted you! She came to you for help and you killed her. You did. You killed my wife. You took her from me."

Molly, realizing the scene her father was causing, said, "Dad!"

However, nothing could seem to stop him, "So, I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear from you. And I do not want you anywhere near her funeral! Do you understand me?"

Meredith just stared at him blankly.

"Do you understand me!?" He yelled at her yet again.

Deciding this was way past enough, Molly instructed her father, "Dad, Dad. Come on, Lexie's waiting in the car. We have to go, Dad."

As Molly began pulling Thatcher away from Meredith, he began to mumble over and over again, "She was everything to me. All I had."

Any self-esteem that Meredith had left was completely obliterated by her father. Of course, he was the one to take most of it away when he slapped her and now it was almost as if he had come back to finish the job.

Instead of going somewhere to cry, Meredith just acted like she was going through the motions, which she technically was. And, she made it to the afternoon when it was time to take her intern exam. She took her seat behind Cristina and even began to bubble in her name on the scan-tron sheet when everything in these past several months hit her. She was going to become a mother, her mother told her that she was a failure and then died. Her and Derek's son almost died because of some crazed ferry boat victim and then Susan died on her watch and her father completely disowned her. It was as if all these things went over her like a wave and the next thing she knew the two hours were up and she didn't answer a single question. And, she didn't care. Meredith just walked out of the exam room when the time was up.

All she wanted was to disappear. She didn't want to be Ellis Grey's daughter anymore. She didn't want to be Thatcher Grey's daughter anymore. She didn't want to be the mother to a child that she would let down. She didn't want to think anymore.

Walking into the lobby of the hospital, she sat down in the lobby and stared into nothingness.

Eventually, she knew that her friends would come talk to her. It was just a matter of when that would be. And the first one to try was George.

He began trying to relate to her, "It's like we're on a train that's going 200 mph and it would be so nice to get off. Just…stand on the platform for a minute."

Not even looking at him, she said sadly, "Looks like I'm off the train."

George was silent of a second when he started, "Parents die. When a parent dies, it doesn't make any sense. So, you make a lot of really terrible decisions that you're gonna end up having to live with for a long time."

Turning to him, she instructed, "You should go. You are still on the train." She paused and just stared at him, "It's OK. You have to go. Go. Go, go, go."

And he left.

Next up was Alex.

Instead of him starting, Meredith commented dryly, "Are you going to give me an inspirational speech too?"

"No." He merely replied.

Sometimes, words aren't necessary to help someone you love.

After several hours of just staring at nothing, Izzie approached her. Expecting her to go into some long lecture about life and what not, except that isn't what she did. All she merely told Meredith was, "The Chief wants to see you."

Leading Meredith to a conference room, Izzie quietly excused herself as she left the Chief and Meredith alone.

Irritated Meredith began, "If you called me here to lecture me…"

The Chief ignored her, "There's a copy of the interns exam on the table. Some number two pencils, a bottle of water and a sandwich, if you get hungry." Getting up from his seat, he continued, "I'll send a proctor in and I'll come back in a few hours and check on you."

As he began to leave, she stated, "You are not my father."

Sighing, he replied, "I know that."

Staring at him with an intensity, she finally broke down and began to let her tears flow. Secretly, she almost wished he was her father.

After she finished with the exam, she exited the door to find Derek and all of her friends waiting for her. Derek was the one to greet her first and sensing they needed some alone time her friends left Meredith and Derek to themselves.

They stood in silence before Derek spoke first, "I heard about…everything. Why didn't you tell me?"

She stared at her feet as she grasped for an explanation, "I…I didn't want to fail you too."

Looking at her concerned, he tried to interrupt, "Meredith…"

"No, let me finish." She took a deep breath, "I didn't want to disappoint you. To let you know that I couldn't hold it all together and be the girlfriend and mother to your child that you need me to be. That…that you'd finally see all the faults I have and realize that you don't want me." She said teary.

He shook his head in disagreement, "I know all of your faults and I don't care. I just want you for you. I don't expect anyone in your situation to be able to hold it together. I would've broken down long before you did. You're strong. It's just one of the things I love about you." He caressed her face and gave her a weak smile.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­--

After that, Meredith managed to make it through Cristina's "bachelorette" party and non-wedding. She had noticed that right before Burke left Cristina that her lower back was killing her. But, she chalked it up to nothing more than carrying an extra thirty pounds in her uterus.

In an effort to console her person, Meredith stayed at Cristina's over night. They didn't talk about it for Cristina was never the type to talk about these things. She just needed Meredith to be there.

Early that morning, around 6 am, Meredith awoke with a twinge in her abdomen. Walking to the bathroom, she figured that she was just having a bowel movement since her system had gotten out of whack since entering the last stage of pregnancy.

About three hours later, Meredith awoke with an even more intense pain that made her cry out. This made Cristina awake with a startle, "What the hell?"

Meredith's breathing had become rapid and in between breaths, she managed to say, "My water just broke."

Looking at Meredith in shock, Cristina looked down the bed and saw the sheets soaked in amniotic fluid. All she managed to respond to with was, "Oh, shit."


	22. Welcome to the World

Quickly getting out of bed, Cristina began chanting, "Oh, shit!" over and over again.

Meredith, meanwhile, was breathing intensely even though they always told patients to take deep breaths. But, she and Derek had skipped out on Lamaze. For one thing, they barely had enough time as it was to get everything together before the baby came and secondly Meredith said she wasn't going to pay to go to a class where they taught her how to do something that was instinctual.

After a minute of continuous freaking out by Cristina and Meredith having a contraction, Meredith breathed a sigh of relief and said, "It's OK. It's over."

Stopping in mid-pace, Cristina looked at her best friend in disbelief, "You're fucking water just broke in my bed! It's not OK! We have to get you to a hospital! Ok, shit, where are your keys?"

Pulling herself out of bed, Meredith replied, "I don't know I just sort of threw them somewhere yesterday."

Looking at her again like she was insane, Cristina asked, "What are you doing getting out of bed!?"

"Calm down, I'm in labor not crippled." She held her stomach as she padded across the room.

Ignoring her, Cristina had gone into the living room and began throwing things every which way to try and find Meredith's keys to take her to the hospital. She had thrown the cushions off of the couch and was looking under it when Meredith came and picked up her keys off of the kitchen counter.

"I found them." Meredith said eerily calm as she held them up for Cristina to see.

Rushing over and grabbing them out of Meredith's hand, Cristina motioned to the door, "Alright, let's go!"

"Aren't you going to change first? Meredith questioned and indicated at Cristina's pajamas.

"Look, I know you could probably perform surgery in this apartment but I really don't want to deliver your baby here."

If she hadn't been in labor, Meredith might have been slightly more amused at this comment but she kind of didn't want to give birth here either, especially without Derek. Derek.

"We have to call Derek. Oh my God, I don't even have a bag packed or anything! The baby wasn't supposed to come for another month." For the first time since all of this began, Meredith was freaking out.

"Who cares about a freaking bag!? We have to go now!" Cristina said as she dragged Meredith out of her apartment and out to Meredith's jeep.

­­--

During the car ride, Meredith had dialed Derek's cell phone several times but only got the voice mail. She vaguely remembered something about him having a surgery this morning. This of course caused Meredith to freak out even more because she didn't want him to miss this and she didn't think she could give birth without him. But, Cristina assured her that she would destroy anyone who got in her way in trying to find Derek and telling him.

Arriving at the hospital in under ten minutes by Cristina's 'amazing' driving abilities, Cristina helped Meredith out of the car and into the ER where the first person they saw was Bailey.

"Dr. Bailey!" Cristina shouted out.

Swaggering over to them and looking at them sternly, she asked, "What the hell are you two doing here. You're supposed be on two weeks vacation."

Meredith began, "I'm in -" But she was cut off by another contraction which caused her to double over in pain.

Instantly realizing what was going on, Bailey called out to one of the nurses, "I need a wheel chair, now!"

Tyler quickly rolled a chair over and Meredith fell into and he rolled her to the elevator to take her to the maternity ward. Before the doors closed, Meredith told Cristina, "Please, find Derek."

Nodding in response, Cristina took off to the OR board to find out where Derek was.

After running up the stairs and to the OR board, Cristina skid to a stop in front of the big white board and did not the Chief standing beside her. Clearing his throat, he began, "How are you Dr. Yang?"

He didn't really know what to say to her since Burke left her the day before. Quite frankly, he didn't know why she was here since all the interns had two weeks off before becoming residents.

Ignoring him, she asked, "Where's Dr. Shepherd?"

"OR 2, why?" He questioned back.

"Meredith's in labor."

His eyes widened, "I'll go get him. You check on Meredith."

After changing into his scrubs, the Chief came in holding a scrub mask over his face. Glancing at him for a moment then back at the brain he was operating on, "What do I owe the pleasure of your presence Chief?" Derek smiled behind his scrub mask.

"I'm here to take over." The Chief replied simply.

"Don't think I'm capable? I guess you should've considered that before you hired me." He laughed.

"Meredith's in labor." The Chief stated.

This caused Derek's smile to quickly fade and the Chief went over to Derek to take the scalpel.

As his heart began to race, he asked the Chief, "Where is she?"

"Room 310."

Derek rushed out of the room and ripped off his scrub mask once he left the OR.

Not for a moment did Derek lessen his fast pace; he even ran up three flights of stairs. Once he arrived on the maternity ward, he began looking at the door numbers to find Meredith's room. He almost passed it because he was running so fast but he skidded to a stop and flung open the door. It was the first time he was able to catch his breath.

Upon entering the room, he saw Meredith in bed with a monitor strapped around her abdomen. Rushing over to her side, he realized that Dr. Gallagher was situated in front of Meredith.

Dr. Gallagher smiled, "Welcome, Dr. Shepherd. I was just about to see how far dilated Meredith is."

After seeing how far along Meredith was, Dr. Gallagher spoke, "You're about four centimeters and seem to be progressing rather nicely."

"I don't understand. She wasn't due for another month." Derek said while still catching his breath.

Dr. Gallagher became serious, "No one knows for sure why a baby decides to come when it does but luckily Meredith's only a week away from being considered full term so the baby should be fine." She said before leaving the couple alone.

Meredith who had been silent this entire time began, "It's all my fault."

"What? Mer-"

"No, it is. All this stress that I've been through must've been too much on the baby and caused me to go into labor."

"That was all out of your control. And, the doctor said that since you're so close to full term anyway that he should be fine." He rubbed her stomach.

"God, Derek, we haven't even picked out a name!" Meredith sighed.

"That should be the least of our worries right now. I just want you and him to get out of this healthy." He tried to reassure her, "If it'll make you feel any better, I have the baby name book in my office and can go get it."

She nodded her head, "We probably have a lot of hours to spare." Meredith managed to tell him before she inhaled sharply at the start of a new contraction. Gripping his hand very tightly, she tried to breath through the contraction which did not seem to help at all. Eventually, it ended and she said, "Go get the book and when you do make sure to find the anesthesiologist before you come back."

Feigning a surprise expression, he teased, "What? You don't want a natural birth?"

Rolling her eyes, she replied, "You're going to feel worse than if I had a natural birth. So, you better find me some drugs."

He laughed as he left the room.

About twenty minutes later, Derek and the anesthesiologist came back into Meredith's room mid-contraction. She was turned on her side gripping the rail attached to her bed and groaning. Derek wished she didn't have to go through so much pain but alas that was just one of the 'joys' of childbirth. Once the contraction was over, Meredith immediately said, "I need an epidural now."

"Well, I'm just the guy you need then." The anesthesiologist smiled, "I'm Dr. Novachek and I talked to Dr. Gallagher about giving you an epidural and she gave me the thumbs up. So, I'm going to get a nurse and we'll get started."

It only took a few minutes for Dr. Novachek to get a nurse to bring in the equipment. "Ok, Meredith, I know you're a doctor but I'm going to tell you anyway. I need you to be very still while I do this."

She nodded and the doctor began the procedure. Spreading the iodine in a circular fashion on her lower back, the doctor began very slowly inserting the needle into a space in her spine until he felt the familiar pop when he reached the epidural space. Nodding, so the nurse would know he was ready for the catheter, he placed the catheter into the needle. Making sure it was fully inserted, he slowly began to take the needle out. Letting out a breath of air, he grinned, "Alright, all done. You should start to feel the effects shortly."

Breathing a sigh of relief that the procedure was over, Meredith was glad that the needle was out of her and she would be relieved of pain. "Did you get the book?"

Derek nodded as he opened the book, "I guess we've sort of narrowed it. We know his name won't be Adam, Michael, Jamie, or _Rainbow_. Just only a million more choices left."

She glared at him, "You're not helping."

Flipping through the pages, he asked, "What about Dean?"

"Dean Shepherd?" She questioned, "I don't know. It just doesn't sound right. Let me see the book."

Complying, he handed the book to her and she began to search and after about ten minutes she spoke, "What about Evan?"

"Evan? I like it." He stated simply.

"Really? Are we actually agreeing on a name just like this?" She was having a hard time believing that they had found a name they both liked.

"I guess we are. When the right name fits, we'll know it." He remembered back to his conversation with the elderly woman when he was waiting for Meredith to get out of surgery.

"Since when did you get all philosophical?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I'd hardly call that philosophical. It's just something I heard." He smiled slyly.

"We still need a middle name though." She sighed.

"Paul, Evan Paul Shepherd." He said almost instantly.

"That was quick." She commented.

He shrugged, "I don't know it just came to me. Do you like it?"

"Yeah, I do. So, wow, he actually has a name now. It kind of makes this all more real." She gently ran her hand over her stomach.

"Because the last nine months and being in labor didn't make it real." He teased her.

"Here I am about to give birth to you child and you're mocking me. Some supportive father-to-be you are. I see how it's going to be." She glared at him and he merely laughed in response.

--

Throughout the rest of her labor, Derek didn't leave her side once. Statistics all say that labors last longer when it's your first pregnancy and when you have an epidural and Meredith was no exception. During this time, Meredith was visited by all her friends. Cristina even managed to return to her usually calm self to see how she was doing. In actuality, all of this was helping Cristina to not focus on her non marriage and Burke. Even the Chief had stopped by once he had finished the surgery he had taken over for Derek.

Finally, the time to push came and Dr. Gallagher positioned herself in front of Meredith, "Alright, Meredith, when I say push I want you to push like you're having a bowel movement and hold that for a count of ten."

She nodded and did as the doctor told her.

After about an hour of pushing and still no baby, Meredith was exhausted. Knowing that she had to motivate Meredith, Dr. Gallagher said, "I know you're tired but I can see the baby in the birth canal now. Just a few more pushes and you'll have a baby."

Groaning, she cried out and shook her head, "I can't do it."

Moving her damp hair out of her face, Derek reassured her, "Just a couple more pushes and all of this will be over."

Not responding, somehow Meredith found the will to push some more which caused Dr. Gallagher to continue to encourage her, "Alright, Meredith that's good. I can see the head now."

Derek who was holding Meredith's hand was watching. As the baby's head came out, Dr. Gallagher got the suction bulb out and began clearing out his nose and mouth. Before she instructed Meredith to begin to push his shoulders and the rest of him out, she commented, "This one doesn't have much hair. I guess he didn't get that quality from his Dad. Ok, Meredith, one more big push and you'll have your baby."

Using all of her strength, Meredith pushed as hard as she could and soon she felt a huge relief of pressure as the baby slid out and into the doctor's hands. Holding him up for Meredith and Derek to see, he began wailing, obviously not happy to be out of the womb. Derek just stared in awe at his son and was so lost in his own little world he almost didn't hear the doctor talking to him, "Want to cut the cord, Dad?"

A nurse handed him some surgical scissors and even though he had performed hundreds of surgeries on extremely smaller things in the brain, he felt his hands shaking has he cut the cord. Once the cord had been cut, one of the nurses whisked the baby to the warmer to check his APGAR score and Dr. Gallagher turned her attention back to Meredith to deliver the placenta.

After the placenta had been delivered, one of the nurses came over with the small boy and handed him to Meredith. This time Meredith was the shaky one as her son was placed into the crook of her arm. He was wrapped in a blue blanket and hat and his beginning wails had turned to small whimpers. The nurse couldn't help but grin at the sight and then proceeded to tell them the measurements they took, "He had an APGAR score of 8, weighs 5lbs, 7oz, and is 18in long."

Gently running his fingers on his son's head, Derek couldn't help but have the biggest grin on his face, "She was right. He has your hair."

Looking him over, Meredith mentally began to count his fingers and toes to make sure they were all there. As she lightly touched his hand, he gripped her finger tightly. In almost a whisper, she said, "Hi, Evan."

Taking her eyes off her son for only a brief second, she looked at Derek and asked, "Do you want to hold him?"

Nodding, he held out his arms as Meredith gently shifted him from her to Derek. Evan started to whimper again as he didn't seem to like to be moved but he soon settled against Derek's chest. Sitting down in the chair next to Meredith's bed, he marveled at the sight of his son. Meredith, who was watching father and son this whole time, happily stated, "I love you."

Getting up to hand the small boy back to Meredith, Derek, who had not stopped grinning, replied, "I love you too."


	23. Completion

It was around midnight and the day before Meredith and Derek were to take Evan home from the hospital. As Meredith slept, Derek had snuck out and went to the nursery to spend time with his son. Picking his son up from the hospital bassinet, the sleeping baby started to cry from being awakened but the soft 'shhs' coming from his father accompanied with some rocking soon quieted the infant. Sitting down in a rocking chair, he couldn't help but study every feature of this tiny boy. The doctor had been right as he was being born; he didn't have Derek's hair. In a way Derek was almost thankful the boy didn't. Sure, he had heard all over the hospital about what great hair he supposedly had but what they didn't realize that it had taken years to get it where it looked like this. When he was younger if he had let it grow out at all, it usually went everywhere.

Everyone who had seen Evan commented that he had Derek's facial features but Derek didn't see it. He thought the baby favored Meredith more but Meredith also disagreed. Needless to say, his son was probably the most popular person in the hospital right now. Not only with his and Meredith's friends but, it seemed liked everyone had come out of the wood work to see 'McBaby.' It was almost as if the nurses in the nursery had purposely put him in the front of the nursery window so everyone could see. Of course, he wasn't surprised when he would see a crowd huddled around the window looking at his son. His and Meredith's relationship had always been a source of gossip around the hospital so it would only be natural for them to come see the baby.

As Derek sat alone in the hospital nursery with his son, his mind drifted to his family. He really wished that his mother accepted his new life more than she did but that wasn't the reality. But, that fact didn't stop the creeping feeling of wanting to, just for a moment, forget about all of that and call her and his sisters to tell them that he had a son. Derek wanted them to come out and see Evan but that seemed like it would just present a myriad of problems. He hoped that when they finally saw his son that they would at least be able to put whatever issues they had with his new life behind them for the sake of Evan. Of course, he'd have to discuss this with Meredith. But right now he was just content on basking in the presence of his son.

* * *

The next morning a certain someone waited until Derek went out for coffee before going in to see Meredith. Slowly opening the door as not to startle her, they walked into the room to see Meredith holding Evan. Her eyes widened as she saw who it was, "Mark Sloan."

Flashing one of his McSteamy smiles at her, he nodded, "The one and only." Pulling something from behind his back, he placed a neatly wrapped present beside her on the bed.

She looked at him quizzically, "What's this?" She asked as she gently placed the sleeping boy back into his hospital sanctioned bassinet.

"Well, seeing how I was so rudely not invited to your baby shower like the rest of the hospital seemed to be, I wasn't able to give you a gift." He sat on the edge of her bed.

She started to rip through the wrapping, when Mark scoffed, "I spent good time on getting that wrapped."

Raising an eyebrow, she questioned, "_You_ wrapped this?"

"No, I said I spent good time on getting it wrapped. I managed to charm the gift wrapping girl into doing it for free." He smirked.

Laughing, but not too loudly as to wake the baby, she replied while opened the box. Taking the light blue onesie out, she looked with utter amusement at the writing on it and she read aloud, "Ladies' Man." Looking back at Mark, she said, "You have got to be kidding."

"And, when he's old enough, I will offer my services on how to woo women." He said with a smug grin on his face.

"First of all, I'm so not letting you near my son at that age for those reasons. Secondly, what makes you think that Derek can't teach him how to 'woo' a woman?" She replied while folding her arms against her chest.

He laughed, "Where do you think Derek learned his moves? That would be from yours truly."

Glancing at the clock, his laughter turned to a sigh as rose from the bed, "Well, I better be off. Patients to see, protecting my face from Derek's fist, you know the usual."

"I doubt that he'd punch you, especially with the baby here."

He smiled and looked at her naively, "That would be all the more reason to punch me." He began to leave when he looked back and said, "I guess I'm all alone in the dirty mistresses club."

"Why's that?" She asked.

Pointing at Evan, he said, "Can't be calling someone's Mom a dirty mistress now can I? Besides, you sucked as a vice president."

She rolled her eyes but before he finally left, Meredith sincerely told him, "Thank you, for the gift."

Giving her a slight nod, Mark replied, "No problem." And proceeded to leave.

About ten minutes later, Derek came back with a cup of coffee in his hand and sat down beside Meredith when he noticed the present, "Who's the present from?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." She responded as she picked Evan up from the bassinet when he began to cry.

"Try me." He said as he sipped his coffee.

"Sloan." She merely replied.

"When did Mark give you a gift?" He furrowed his brow.

Shrugging, she said, "When you were out getting some coffee a few minutes ago."

"Oh, ok." He was eerily calm as he said this.

"Ok? That's it? Mark ran out of here so fast because he'd thought you'd be upset if you caught him within 100 feet of the baby and me." Meredith passed Evan over to Derek when motioned to her that he wanted to hold him.

"Right now, I'm happy and I don't want to talk about anything worrisome." He looked down at his son and smiled. Derek quickly changed the subject, "So, I was thinking that I should call my mother and tell her about Evan being born but that would probably mean she would want to come out here, again."

Swallowing, Meredith looked down at her hands and then back at Derek, "I thought you said you didn't want to talk about worrisome things."

Sighing, he replied, "I know that she's…caused problems but I feel like she deserves to meet him if not for her sake then for Evan's."

Looking at her son, who was sleeping in Derek's arms, Meredith consented, "You're right. Isn't that part of being a parent? Doing things you don't necessarily want to do but do anyway for the sake of your child?"

He mused, "To a certain extent, I suppose. There'll always be that fine line."

"Yeah, but he deserves to have at least one grandparent in his life. And your mother and sisters' antics, while completely irritating, is nothing compared to the problems I have with my father." She let out a sigh.

"Look, I don't blame you if you don't want her to come." He tried to reassure her.

"No, it's ok. You do what you have to do." Meredith tried to toughen up.

"I promise to tell her she can only stay a couple of days." Derek told her.

Before he could say anymore though, Evan started to cry which caused Meredith to look at the clock, "He's probably hungry."

Derek nodded and handed their son over to Meredith and began to feed him.

Leaning over, Derek smiled and smoothed his son's fine hair, "I guess he didn't like the intense conversation."

Meredith smiled, "Yes, he says that we all have to be bright and shiny from now on."

"And we will be." Derek said as he leaned over to kiss Evan on the head.

* * *

After Meredith had finished feeding Evan and put him down to sleep, Derek decided he would call his mother. Taking a deep breath, he pressed his mother's speed dial number and listened as the phone rang. On the second ring, the familiar voice of his mother answered, "Hello?"

Clearing his throat, he began, "Mom, it's me, Derek."

Surprise was in her voice, "Derek? This is a…surprise to say the least."

He decided to just get to the point, "Meredith had the baby."

"What?" Mrs. Shepherd asked in shock, "But, I thought she wasn't due for another month."

"She wasn't but you know you can't predict these things." Derek sat down in one of the waiting room chairs as he waited for his mother to continue to question him.

"Is the baby alright? I mean being this early and all." She asked with real sincerity.

Nodding even though she wasn't there to see it, he stated, "Yes, Meredith was only a week away from being full term. So, he's healthy."

"That's good to hear. So, did you two ever decide on a name?" She asked.

"Yeah, Evan Paul." Derek replied.

"Oh, that's a lovely name!"

Raising an eyebrow, Derek half wondered if his mother was taking some sort of 'medication.' "Uh, so, Mom, I guess I should be expecting you to come out here." He said almost as a question.

"I think it would be best if I waited maybe a month or two. You know, in order to give you and Meredith time to bond with him."

Now, Derek was almost sure that his mother was either drunk or high, "Ok, where's my mother and what have you done with her?"

"Nothing dear, I just…I just thought about what you said last time I was there. And, maybe, it's time I accept your new life." She was hesitant as she spoke.

In shock, Derek replied, "I don't know what say. Thanks, Mom."

"You don't need to say anything. I guess I was just trying to hold onto the past. When you got married to Addison it was right before your father died. I just wanted things to be like they were when he was still alive. But, things change and it's time for me to change as well."

"Mom…" Derek began.

She sniffled, "Now, tell Meredith congratulations and give that baby a kiss for me."

"Ok, I love you." Derek smiled sadly.

"Love you to, sweetheart." His mother hung up.

Derek closed his cell phone and went back into Meredith's room.

* * *

After Meredith and Evan were released from the hospital, things were a bit hectic when they first got home with everyone visiting them. It was about eight o'clock in the evening and everyone was at Meredith's. Well, Callie, George and Cristina were since Alex and Izzie technically lived there. Evan was being passed around the room as Izzie and George were cleaning up the pizza boxes they had ordered earlier.

After Callie had finished holding Evan, she passed him over to Alex and went to help George and Izzie clean up. Alex commented, "You know this kid is going to be a surgeon god when he grows up."

"What makes you think that?" Meredith questioned.

"It's in his blood. He had Ellis Grey as a grandmother and he has two surgeons for parents. How could he not?" Alex replied as he passed the baby back to his mother.

Meredith shrugged and looked down at her son and smiled, "That's a long time away isn't it, Evan?" She said her son's name in a cutesy voice.

Cristina looked at her in horror, "You're not going to become one of those mothers who talks to their child like that all the time are you?"

Meredith merely laughed, "I guess this little guy just brings out a different side of me."

Cristina leaned over towards the baby and said, "Hey kid, make sure from now on you bring out a side of your mom that doesn't make me want to throw up."

Derek chimed in just to annoy Cristina in his own cutesy voice, "He says that I'll bring out whatever side of my Mommy I want whether you like it or not."

Looking disgusted, Cristina groaned, "Not you, too. I'm going to go help clean up to get away from this."

Amused, Meredith said, "She must really hate that tone of voice if she's opting to clean than listen to us."

Derek smiled, "I guess I'll have to keep that fact stored away for the future."

Just then, Callie and George entered the room and Callie announced, "We're going to go. Congratulations again, Meredith and Derek."

Entering the room as well, Cristina said sarcastically, "Yeah, I'm going to go too. I don't want to keep the old folks up too late."

"You're not funny, you know." Meredith replied.

"Only to those who don't have a sense a humor." Cristina joked as she walked to the door.

Looking to Derek, Meredith said, "We better get him up to bed. He's had a busy day."

Derek nodded and followed Meredith up the stairs with the baby.

* * *

The next morning around six a.m. the rain beat down softly on the roof as Derek and Meredith stared at their son who was between them on a pillow.

Rubbing his son's hand softly, Derek commented, "He's so amazing."

"It's hard to believe that we created something so perfect." Meredith said as she memorized everything about Evan, "He makes it seem like everything that happened before in our relationship seem so miniscule."

"And, I'd go through it all again knowing that he would be the result." Derek looked up at Meredith.

"Amazingly, I think I would too." Meredith admitted.

"These past nine months have been crazy but we both reached forward and overcame obstacles we never thought we could." Derek said seriously.

Meredith smiled, "You're not going to get all sappy on me are you? Because if you are, make sure Cristina isn't around because I do want to continue being her friend."

Derek feigned being hurt, "Oh, I see how it's going to be."

At that moment, Evan began to whimper while Meredith glared at him, "You woke him up."

"Me? I did no such thing." Derek insisted.

Not being able to stay upset at him, Meredith grinned, "Well, for waking him up, you can go change his diaper."

Sighing, he knew that he wasn't going to find a way out of this one, so he gently got off the bed and picked Evan up and started walking to the nursery and began to talk to him, "So, what did Mommy bribe you with for you to do that?"

Pretending to wait for an answer, Derek waited a few moments to say something else, "Not going to talk, eh? I guess we'll just have to work out our own little deal, won't we?"

As Derek disappeared down the hallway, Meredith couldn't help but laugh at his exchange with his son.

Sighing, she laid back on the bed. For the first time in a long while, Meredith felt like she was truly happy. Getting off the bed, she padded down the hallway and looked into the nursery where Derek had a huge grin on his face as he changed Evan. Watching for a moment, she finally stepped in to join them.

Meredith Grey finally had the one thing she never thought she would: a happy family.

* * *

_**Author's Note: Writing this story has been frustrating and rewarding at the same time (I'm starting to sound sappy, please forgive me). A little useless back story on the process of writing this - I started this story back in February '07 and made myself have at least ten chapters written before I posted it so I wouldn't post the first chapter then never post again because I got behind then eventually lose interest. When I eventually got ten chapters, in July, I finally posted it. I told myself that I would keep up a queue of chapters so I could post every week. That way I could satisfy my readers and give me momentum to continue writing with the reviews fueling me. **_

_**Alright, now, I'm just rambling. I just want to thank everyone who has read this story. It's been an amazing ride.**_

_**- Rising From The Ashes **_


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